Page 18 of A LIttle Christmas: Samm
The waitress writes it down. “Beer. Lager. Whatever is on tap,” Bryan says, and sighs with relief at the day being over. “And two burgers with fries. One with cheese,” he says, because that’s what they always order if they get food after a meeting that has gone too long.
Samuel nods in agreement, and the waitress leaves.
Bryan rubs his hands over his face for a long moment and then looks up to find Samuel glaring at him.
“What’s wrong?” Bryan asks.
“Why might you consider dating men?”
“I don’t know, I guess the idea of men in lingerie hadn’t occurred to me before. But the idea is sexy. Arousing.” He clears his throat. It’d be nice if the waitress brought them water. “Plus, I tried to do some preparation for our meeting today, and Googled a few things, and….” He shrugs. “I guess it just isn’t something I’ve considered. But I’m thinking I should have.”
“Sexuality isn’t like food, or running, or something. You don’t just decide — at 37— to possibly be into men.”
“Actually, it is quite common for men and women from my generation to come out later in life.”
“I can’t believe this,” Samuel mutters, crossing his arms.
Well, he might as well be completely honest. “My first kiss was with a boy, actually. We were nine. My parents caught us. They were furious. It’s the only time my father used a belt on me. Then I dated Kathy from the age of 13 until we got divorced.”
Samuel’s expression is pinched. “Your first kiss was with a boy?”
Byran shrugs, embarrassed. “We were so young. It just… happened.”
“You know, if you didn’t like men, then kissing one would be gross. And it probably wouldn’t ‘just happen.’”Samuel uses air quotes.
“You’re probably right,” he says. That hadn’t occurred to him. Surely, if he were straight, then he’d have been repulsed by the idea and not been willing to try kissing a boy. “I think I was the one who suggested it.”
“This is ridiculous,” Samuel mutters.
Bryan raises a brow.
Samuel waves his hand dismissively. “I’m not trying to force you back into the closet or deny your reality or whatever,” he rolls his eyes, “But it just seems a little out of nowhere.”
“You’re right. And it’s not why we’re here. I don’t want to hijack the conversation. It’s just something I’ll think about. Dating again seemed pointless. Why would I want to go back into that horror show? But maybe I could date men? Don’t tell Wendy. I don’t want to get her hopes up.”
The waitress appears with their drinks. Samuel takes his out of the waitress's hand. “I’ll have another,” he says.
“That kind of day, huh? What about you?” She asks, turning to Bryan.
“I’m an adult, I have to pace myself,” he says, smiling widely.
“Are you calling me a child?” Samuel says.He’s pouting. The boy’s plump bottom lip is actually pushed out like it’s waiting to be touched or kissed.
Bryan’s dick throbs in his pants. Which makes him think about putting the head of his cock there, against the young man’s lips, urging him to?—
No. This is ridiculous. He’s been possibly bisexual for two minutes, and he’s already imagining having his dick sucked.
By his young, gay assistant.
This is very, very bad.
“So, you are calling me a child?”
“What? No, sorry. I was thinking of something else. Work.” He forces himself to be in the moment, to pay attention to what is actually going on.
“That is not convincing.”
Their food arrives, and they both start eating. Is Samuel as relieved as he is to have a break in the conversation?
