Page 16 of Wrangling Hearts
I popped the pill in her mouth, and while I held the glass of water for her to drink, the smoke alarm started blaring.
“Fuck,” I hissed and ran into the kitchen. A plume of smoke escaped as I opened the oven, revealing the burnt-to-a-crisp lasagna. I rushed it outside, propping the door open to let all the smoke out.
I stared down at the ruined dish. It was Mama’s go-to after a hard day, and I thought it’d remind her of better times. Times when all of us kids were under her roof and Dad was alive. All of us together and happy and healthy. I’d sit on the counter whileshe put together all the layers, stealing pieces of cheese and making her laugh.
My chest grew tight, each breath harder than the last, while the word failure rang through my mind. No matter how hard I tried, it seemed like something was always falling to the wayside.
I looked up to the sky, hoping it’d do its usual trick of calming me down, of making me realize how small my problems were. But it did nothing this time. It was just another ‘fuck you’ the universe threw at me.
A knot lodged itself in my throat while I took in the pinks and oranges and peaches. I would not cry. I refused to cry over burnt lasagna. Except this wasn’t about lasagna. It was about how every part of my life was a catastrophic disaster, and I didn’t know how to fix it.
I blinked away the stinging in my eyes, burying the sadness deep. When I finally felt like I could breathe, I looked down, only to find Beau standing on the other side of the fence line in his yard. He was practicing lassoing with a dummy.
I’d seen him do it before, considering our houses were only about half a football field apart. But this time… I swallowed roughly. This time was different for some reason. For starters, he had never been shirtless until now.
He looked a lot different from the last time I’d seen that much of his skin back when we were teens. But he wasn’t a boy anymore; he was a man now. A man packed with muscle.
He was slick with sweat, arms flexing as he threw the rope. He got it around the bull’s horns every time, of course. There was a flash of black ink when he moved his arm out of the way. I squinted and made out the Circle M brand on his left pec under a smattering of dark chest hair.
My mouth went dry.
He looked over, doing a double-take when he saw me staring at him like a fucking pervert. I shouldn’t have been looking athim at all. I needed to go inside and check on Mama. But I couldn’t get my feet to move for some reason. It reminded me of the last time I’d seen him shirtless in the creek before he left for college. I had that same dazed, frozen feeling.
“I think it’s done,” he shouted across the land between us.
“What?” The word sounded like a strangled yelp. I cleared my throat. “What?”
He dipped his chin, gesturing to my hands. Oh, right. The smoking lasagna. I was glad he wasn’t close enough to see the heat rising in my cheeks. He’d never let it go.
“Send your proposal in? Or did you come to your senses and drop out?”
It hit me like a freight train. The proposal for Cavendish was due today at five. I had forgotten all about it. I staggered back, the world tilting. “Oh my God,” I croaked.
I dropped the lasagna in the yard, the glass dish shattering, and sprinted inside. Beau’s laughter chased me all the way. A panicked whimper tore itself from my throat when I looked at the clock on the stove that now read 5:43.
I yanked open my laptop, my hands trembling. Everything was ready, but I had to check again, not sure I could trust myself anymore. The screen blurred through my tears. How could I have been so stupid?
I wiped my eyes roughly and typed a quick message to the Cavendish representative, apologizing for the proposal being late and explaining that there had been a family emergency. It took me longer than usual to type due to my shaking, but I managed to send it all off three minutes before six.
My back met my mattress, panting as if I had just run a marathon. I couldn’t afford to drop the ball like that again. The ranch’s future depended on this partnership; it had to be my top priority.
The rollercoaster of emotions I just ran through in the last thirty minutes was enough to drain the remaining energy I had left. My appetite was long gone, and I knew Mama wouldn’t eat. I should’ve made her, but I didn’t have the strength to fight her on it after her yelling at me. Emmett would just have to fend for himself. It’s what he deserved for leaving me earlier, anyway.
God, I needed wine. And a bubble bath. Probably the only two things that would keep me from screaming at this point.
A few minutes later, after lighting a few candles and flipping the lights off, I let out a deep sigh as I settled into the tub. Warm water and lavender-scented bubbles surrounded me, and my muscles instantly loosened. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d done something like this. Probably months.
I took a large sip of my wine, careful not to spill it since I filled the glass nearly to the rim. I pressed play on my laptop, and Reese Witherspoon running down the beach in a wedding dress in the rain popped up on my screen. I had probably watchedSweet Home Alabamaa million times in my life, but it was still my favorite romance movie. There was just something so wholesome about a second-chance romance that got to me. It’d taken me about a week to watch it this time, having to pause between chores, taking care of Mama, and working on the proposal, but I finally got to my favorite part.
The end credits rolled, so I shut my laptop and took a few gulps of wine. I’d been running on fumes for so long, I’d forgotten what it was like to exist for myself. All my time was spent keeping Mama stable, managing the ranch, and waiting for Emmett to inevitably leave like Savannah and Tess had. But here, alone in this tub with the outside world shut out, I remembered I used to be a person. A person with hopes and dreams and needs of her own.
I leaned back against the tub, letting my eyes fall closed. I sank lower into the water until only my head was over thesurface. The porcelain was cold and harsh against my back, but the wine in my system had me quickly imagining it was something else.
Someone else.
Beau McLeod and his smug smile.
The memory of him from earlier came to the forefront of my mind. Slick skin, bulging biceps, that tattoo…
