Page 44 of Wrangling Hearts
“No shit,” Louise laughed. “Only a man could get a woman as strong as you so torn up.”
“He’s been coming to the ranch. A lot,” I said between sniffles and mouthfuls. “Helping me and Emmett fix things. He even came to the hospital to visit Mama.”
“Does he want an award or something?”
“Oh, Louise, hush!”
“That’s the confusing thing. He’s been so nice, so helpful, and I know y’all read theWhispers. I just feel so conflicted about it all. I’m supposed to hate him, to want to win this partnership out from under him, but?—”
“But you don’t.” I looked at Gran, her green eyes like Dad’s, like mine. They saw everything.
I shook my head. The admission was both freeing and suffocating at once. Relief and discomfort combined.
Metal smacking against the table startled me. Louise had whipped out her magic quarter again. “Flip it.”
“I can’t flip a quarter over this. The ranch’s future is at stake.”
“You flipped it over its future before. Why can’t you do it again?”
“It’s complicated. My…love life is involved now.” Just saying the word love in the vague context of Beau felt too real, too big. What would my siblings say if I lost the ranch because I was distracted by him? They’d probably never speak to me again.
Louise pursed her fire-engine red lips at me. “I decided whether or not to marry my fourth husband with this coin.”
My brows furrowed. “You don’t have a fourth husband.”
She stole a fry and began munching on it. “Exactly.”
“I don’t think I can be as cut and dry as you, Miss Louise.”
“Oh, I cried ‘bout it for days, honey, but it wasn’t the answer that broke my heart. It was the relief I felt when it said no.”
She slid the coin across the table. “Think about it that way. If it lands on tails, how would you feel? Devastated or relieved?”
I stared down at the coin like it was radioactive. My mind raced with all the different outcomes, how everyone would react, how we’d navigate everything. It was a giant mess.
“Don’t think about what you think everyone wants and their feelings. Do whatyouwant. It’s your life, Claire, not ours. You need to let yourself follow your heart,” Gran said. “You’ve already sacrificed so much for this family and our ranch, you deserve this happiness.”
“I’d be devastated,” I whispered. And for jumping through all those emotional hoops, the answer sure did come out fast.
Louise grinned. “Well, that’s good to hear. He’s got an ass you can bounce this quarter off of, and I’d hate for you to let that go.”
“Oh God,” I groaned, mortified. And then I said, “He does.”
They burst into laughter, making me smile.
“Now go home, and let that boy take care of you,” Gran said.
While it wasn’t the same as getting my siblings’ blessing, it felt just as good. It felt like the permission I knew I didn’t need, but desperately wanted. My heart fluttered, my smile widening. “Okay.”
But when I got home, not even thirty minutes later, Beau was nowhere to be found. I went to the barn. He had finished the roof, and on a post near the entrance, there was a piece of paper nailed to it.
Message received.
Let me know when you can do this.
-B
My heart sank.I hadn’t meant to hurt his feelings; I just needed to get my head on straight, and it was nearly impossible to do that with him around. I tried calling and texting, but he didn't answer. I thought about going over to Circle M, but I was too big of a coward to face Mount.
