Page 23 of Rescued Hearts
Delilah’s fingers tapped on the dash in quick succession. “Okay, I’ve let you stew in silence long enough. Start talking.”
I scoffed. “Is this how you talk to all your clients?”
“No, but they’re usually more chatty since they pay by the hour.” She shot me a playful smirk. “It’s a great motivator.”
I picked at my fingers. “It’s not just something I can blurt out,” I murmured, looking out the window.
“I know, babe, but keeping it bottled inside is wrecking you. I can see it all over your face. You look like a Coke bottle with Mentos crammed inside, seconds away from exploding.” She glanced over at me before looking back at the road. “You’re safe with me, bug. I’m not going to tell anyone anything you don’t want them to know. Not even your hot lawyer.”
I managed a teary laugh. “He really is hot,” I said between chuckles, thinking back to how Levi looked in that dove gray suit at Colt’s wedding two days ago. It was like something out of a cologne ad.
“Does he know everything?”
I nodded, looking down at my lap. “Yeah.”
“And did the world end when you laid it all out there? Did he look at you differently?”
My smile was unstoppable. “No, he didn’t.”
She took my hand in hers, giving it a squeeze. “And I won’t either. You’re my sister. Whatever you tell me isn’t going to change that.”
I wiped my eyes, nodding, and told her everything.
I told her about the first time Jeremy hit me and how we both cried on the kitchen floor together while he vowed to never do it again, holding bloodied tissues to my busted lip with shaking hands. I told her how he threatened to take Luke away when I took him to the park one time without his permission. I told her how he’d guilt-trip me into having sex, but then tell me I was lucky that he was still attracted to me after having a baby, because no one else would be. I told her how he made me feel crazy and somehow twisted everything to the point that I blamedmyself, and that it still felt like I had done something to deserve all of it.
Delilah didn’t interrupt once. She didn’t even look at me. The only sign I knew she was listening to what I was saying was her grip on the wheel tightening until her knuckles were white.
By the time I was finished, I didn’t feel any better. I’d put every single gruesome detail out there for the second time now, and it hadn’t been any easier. Wasn’t it supposed to get easier? Supposed to make me feel free or something? Well, I didn’t. I felt pathetic, stupid, and so, so embarrassed.
“I could fucking kill him,” she said after a beat of silence. She inhaled deeply through her nose and exhaled slowly out of her mouth. Almost like she was purging herself of the anger. Then, her voice was calm, serene even, as she said, “But we aren’t going to do that. Instead, we’re going to redirect that energy into helping you heal.”
I blinked quickly. “I’ve never heard you talk like that before.” She chuckled. “I don’t like it. It’s weird.”
“That’s my therapist voice,” she said, smirking. “I can crank it up if you want. We can do a guided meditation, sound therapy, the works.”
“I’m good.” I fidgeted in my seat, staring out the windshield, and sighed. “I just thought being home and away from him would be enough. I mean, it’s helped a little, but I still have nightmares sometimes, and when I’m out, I’m constantly checking over my shoulder, just waiting for him to pop out.”
We pulled down the long driveway to Golden Circle, bobbing around in the cab over the dirt road. “Recovering from trauma isn’t a steady road, Tess. Just like this one,” she said with that same creepy voice. “Some spots are smooth sailing, and some spots are bumpy enough to pop a tire. That’s just how it goes, unfortunately. But there will come a day when Jeremy isn’t even a thought in your mind anymore.”
I scoffed. “That feels impossible.”
She put the truck in park, turning to face me. “It’s not, I promise. It just feels that way now because you’ve been stuck in survival mode for so long. Think of yourself as being frozen for the last eight years, and you’re thawing out now.”
Emmett came out of the barn, instantly frowning at Delilah in the driver’s seat. She clicked the door lock without breaking eye contact with me. “We need to find something for you, like how Luke has karate. What’s something you think you’d like to do? Something purely yours?”
I glanced between Delilah and Emmett, her back now fully to him while he yanked on the door handle. “Get out of my truck, Delilah,” he demanded lowly through the window.
“Don’t pay attention to him,” she said.
“I don’t know,” I said, answering her question, chewing on my bottom lip. “I don’t…I don’t feel like myself anymore. I don’t think I even know who I am.”
Emmett knocked on the window incessantly. “Delilah!”
She whirled. “Can you fuck off?” she yelled at him through the window. His scowl deepened. “We’re talking about periods, Emmett.” My hands went to my mouth with an amused gasp. “Wanna tell us how heavy your cycle is? Yeah, didn’t think so,goodbye.” She pressed her hand to the window, giving him the bird, while I laughed.
He let out a frustrated groan and stormed off back to the barn, shaking his head.
I might not have known who I was, but I knew I wanted to be like Delilah. Someone quick-witted and sassy who could make men do what she wanted, even iftheydidn’t. But most of all, I wanted her confidence.
