Page 74 of Wreck Me
Noah set down the tablet and clicked it off. With a snick, the screen went dark. He folded his arms over his chest and eyed Aidan. “So what happened?”
“What do you mean?”
Noah pursed his lips and exhaled quietly as though praying for patience. That was one thing he had to give his oldest brother. The man had the patience of a saint. While Noah may look just like their father—honest to God, some days it was like looking at a ghost—he had all the patience of their mother.
“I mean, while I don’t mind you camping out in my spare room for a while, I’d like to know why you’re not staying at your own home.”
Aidan’s thumb rimmed the coffee mug. “I told Megan she could stay there until she left.”
“That’s great. Still doesn’t answer my question though, bro.” Noah leaned forward. “Why aren’t you with Megan?”
“Our little fling or whatever the hell it was ran its course.”
“Uh-huh. And you parted ways amicably? If it just ran its course and all. No harm, no foul, right?”
Aidan looked over at his brother, who didn’t smirk, just watched him patiently, waiting for him to explain why the hell he’d let Megan go.
He blew out a breath and leaned back in the farmhouse chair. “Look, you know me. I don’t do relationships. I have no desire to get attached to someone so that I can get hurt.”
“So you think you can just have fuck buddies your whole life and nothing more than that?”
Well, hell. When Noah put it like that, it seemed ridiculous. And fucking lonely.
“I don’t know. All I know is that I never want to feel that pain that love brings. I saw what it did to Mom when Dad died. And Marcus when Naomi died. I’ve never wanted to let anyone in.” Until Megan.
She was right. Hehadlet her in that night. His world had shifted on its axis, and he didn’t know what to do about it.
“Except you did let her in, didn’t you?” Noah sighed. “Look, I don’t know what that’s like either. Losing someone you love that much.”
“Didn’t you love Sara?” Aidan hadn’t really known Noah’s ex-wife very well since they’d managed to get married and divorced while Aidan was in the army.
“Sure. At least, I thought I did. And it hurt when she left, but it was more because I’d felt like a fool for rushing into it. We’re both better off apart. But the kind of love and loss you’re talking about is different. It’s the soul changing kind.”
He’d never been the type of guy to show emotion, especially for anyone outside his family. But Megan made him feel everything and not in a small way.
He’d felt all the emotions he’d never wanted to feel.
“Yeah.” Aidan looked down into his black coffee. “I just don’t think I’m built for the soul changing kind. Too much trouble. I got enough trouble keeping law and order in this town.”
“I suppose.” Noah stood and gathered his tablet and mug. “I have to head to the office. Going to be a slow day with the rain, but the paperwork never ends.” He paused, tapping his finger on the mug handle. “I have to apologize to you.”
Aidan’s brow furrowed. “For what?”
“For not stepping up and being a better brother to you when Dad died. You were just a kid, and you took on so much.”
“I don’t need your apologies. You didn’t do anything wrong. You and Del were off at school. It wasn’t your fault you weren’t there. It’s just the way it happened.”
“I appreciate you trying to let me off the hook, but I still carry a lot of guilt about it.”
“Well, don’t. After you and Del left home, Dad said I was the man of the house if he wasn’t around. To protect the family.” Aidan shrugged. “So that’s what I did.”
Noah stared at him. “Yeah. It makes sense now.”
“What makes sense?”
Noah shook his head. “Nothing. I gotta go. Make yourself at home. Stay as long as you need. Mi casa, su casa and all that. I don’t think I have to tell you this, but try to keep from getting your shit everywhere though.”
“Have we met? You’ve seen my cabin.”
