Page 25 of A Winter Admire
Ulir picked up the eustice flowers from the slush and walked alongside him. “Is this a Solstice gift?” He held the now muddy, crushed gift daintily between two fingers. “Were you going to confess your feelings to someone? Again?” He laughed. “Didn’t you learn your lesson before? Or perhaps someone gave this gift to you. I have to say it suits you, Edwin. It’s ugly and sad-looking. Your admirer chose something to match you perfectly.”
“Leave me be,” Edwin bit out.
“Did I strike a nerve? Do you have an admirer? Come now, you must know the only reason someone would give you a gift would be as a joke.”
A joke.
How had he not thought of the possibility before?
He looked up, straight at Torin and Ulir’s cabin. He spotted Torin at the window of his cabin, watching them, and suddenly it hit him. Torin and Ulir had been giving him gifts to make fun of him, to teach him a lesson, to make him realise once and for all how foolish and unlovable he was.
Because who else would give Edwin a gift?
It was too much. He had to get out of this village. Edwin turned on the spot and started walking back in the direction of the forest. Blood pounding in his ears, he picked up his feet and ran. And just like he had all those years ago, he fled into the forest.
ChapterNineteen
The light through the trees grew dimmer as Edwin’s feet pounded along the path he knew so well. Finally, out of breath, he stood by the gurgling river. His breath rose in puffs of air before his face. He wiped at his wet cheeks.
A joke.
The Solstice gifts that had given him so much joy and happiness, that had gotten his hopes so high, they were nothing more than a cruel joke. But why would Torin and Ulir go to such lengths? He couldn’t wrap his mind around it. But then again, it made more sense than the idea that beautiful, kind-hearted Sinoe had been his admirer.
How could I be so naive?
He closed his eyes, swallowing at the pain that choked him. He’d been foolish to hope Sinoe could return his feelings.
How could anyone, let alone Sinoe, ever love such a pathetic person like me?
When would he learn? And now, for the second time in his life, here he was, rejected and crying in the forest. A bitter laugh escaped his lips.
The wind howled through the trees, and the tears dried on his cheeks. His brain felt slow and sluggish. He shivered. He needed to go back. It would be dangerous to stay here much longer. Already he would have trouble getting home in the darkness. But still, he stood, staring at the trickling water, his body too drained of energy to move.
He should go home, crawl into bed, and stay there indefinitely. He would not come out until long after the Solstice. Still, he stayed put, unable to make his feet move. Instead, he just trembled in the dark, like the fool he was.
“Edwin!”
As if in a fog, Edwin turned towards his name.
Sinoe walked towards him, like a vision in the snow, concern on his beautiful face, his silver eyes glowing. “Edwin, what are you doing out here? What happened?” He sounded panicked.
Sinoe the healer, so kind-hearted, trying to care for poor, silly Edwin. No doubt Edwin had merely mistaken Sinoe’s caring nature for affection and love.
“It’s dark. You shouldn’t be out here. How long have you been out here? Are you cold?” Sinoe placed a hand on his arm. “You’re shaking! We need to get you back to the village immediately.” He took Edwin’s elbow and ushered him in the direction of the village.
“I’m sorry, Sinoe. I just…” What could Edwin say? That he’d hoped Sinoe cared for him. That he’d so desperately wanted Sinoe to be his admirer. That he’d been foolish enough to believe Sinoe could want him, could love him, even. And now that he knew the truth, he was completely heartbroken.
“I just… I just wanted to look at the river at night. Sorry to make you worry.”
“What?” Sinoe asked, frowning. “What are you talking about? We must get you home.”
“It’s fine. I’m fine.” Edwin tried to smile. Tears slipped from his eyes. “I can get back to the village on my own. I know the way.” Edwin wiped at the moisture on his cheeks, stepping back. He laughed a sad, pathetic sound like a sob. “Sorry for behaving like this. Twice now, you’ve seen me crying in a forest. I must look so pitiful to you. But I can get back on my own. I don’t want to bother you.”
“Edwin…,” Sinoe said, voice soft and earnest. “You’re no bother to me.” He stepped closer. “You’re never a bother to me.”
Edwin shook his head. He lifted his glasses, wiping at the tears that wouldn’t stop escaping. He couldn’t stand to be around Sinoe now, not when the rejection pulsed so fresh and hot through his veins. He needed to get away. He wanted to be back in his cabin, alone and safe, where he could lick his wounds in peace.
“Edwin, please. Why are you upset? Speak to me.”
