Page 15 of A Winter Admire
“But that was a few years ago. He and I are not together anymore. So I moved back to the valley.”
Relief flooded Edwin’s body. “Oh. I’m sorry.”
“It’s all right. It was a while ago. My heart has since mended.”
As they walked, Sinoe’s shoulder brushed against his own, and despite the freezing-cold air, Edwin wished he weren’t wearing his coat. Then he could feel Sinoe’s skin brushing against his.
“I’m surprised, then, that we’ve never seen each other before,” Edwin said. “Then again, I lived in Bordertown for a while, and you lived somewhere else.” He frowned. “And the mountains and forests are very big. So I guess it’s not so surprising. One could walk for days and never see anyone. And maybe you avoid humans?” He knew some oreads in the mountains did, although not usually the ones from the valley.
“I’ve never avoided humans.” Sinoe paused. “But I did see you once. Years ago.”
“Really?” Edwin asked. He couldn’t imagine forgetting Sinoe. “Did I see you?”
Sinoe hesitated as if regretting having spoken. “I saw you here, in the forest. But you were…too distracted to see me.”
“Distracted?”
Again, Sinoe hesitated. “Well, you were crying.”
Edwin halted. There was only one time that he had cried in the forest. The day he had declared his love to Torin. He’d fled into the wilderness to be alone, too ashamed to return to his family’s cabin and have them see him cry. But he hadn’t been alone. Someone else had witnessed his shame. Someone he really wished hadn’t.
“I just remembered,” Edwin said. “I have to return home. I forgot…to do something.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything,” Sinoe said, pity in his eyes, clearly seeing through Edwin’s weak lie.
But Edwin didn’t want his pity. He wanted Sinoe to admire him. “It’s fine. No problem at all. I just forgot to feed my rabbit.” He forced a smile, avoiding Sinoe’s gaze.
“Will you return tomorrow?” Sinoe asked, voice soft as if handling a wounded animal.
Edwin nodded. He needed to get away, needed to escape this fresh humiliation.
“Well, I’ll see you then,” Sinoe said. “Tomorrow.”
Edwin nodded but didn’t speak. He had to leave. He turned away and strode back towards the village.
To think Sinoe had seen him at his worst moment. All this time, he’d always wondered why Sinoe was so nice to him. Now he knew. Sinoe pitied him. Maybe Sinoe had given him the gift after all. But not as an admirer. Perhaps he’d given it out of pity for the poor human he’d seen crying alone in the forest.
ChapterThirteen
The flower mocked him.
He picked it up, but the joy he had felt yesterday at the sight of the Solstice gift did not appear. He rubbed his eyes, knocking his glasses askew. He’d barely slept the previous night; all he could think of was the look of pity on Sinoe’s face.
Sighing, he went back into his house and placed the flower in the vase with the others. He didn’t glance back as he left the cabin. He walked the worn path through the village and into the forest. For the first time ever, he didn’t want to see Sinoe. He just wanted to stay home.
But he’d told Sinoe he would return.
He trudged through the snow. Perhaps Sinoe wouldn’t be there today. Perhaps he had forgotten or had something better to do. Then Edwin wouldn’t need to face him. But when he approached the river, Sinoe already stood amongst the trees, clearly waiting for him, pity shining in his silver eyes. Mortification sat like lead in Edwin’s stomach.
“Good morning, Edwin,” Sinoe said, stepping towards him.
“Good morning,” he murmured.
The river gurgled.
“I’m sorry,” Sinoe said. “I shouldn’t have mentioned… I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m not sure why I did. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“It’s not your fault.” At least he hadn’t asked Sinoe yesterday if he was the admirer. He could only stand so much shame in one day. “It’s not like you were the one who rejected me.”
