Page 53 of A Winter Redemption
Jarne startled. “Yes. Everything is fine.”
Ketho sat up on the edge of the bed. “Is it something to do with the conversation you had with Mila?”
“You heard that?” Jarne put down the grass.
“I heard your voices,” Ketho said. “Everything all right with the boys?”
“Yes. Fine.” Jarne frowned at the grass. “But I did have something I wanted to talk to you about.”
“All right.”
Jarne pulled the chair closer to him and stared at Ketho’s thighs. He reached out and took Ketho’s hands. “The time we’ve spent together has meant a lot to me.”
Unease crept up Ketho’s spine. Ketho tried to read Jarne’s expression. “It’s also meant a lot to me.”
“I care for you a lot.” Jarne’s spine straightened as he met Ketho’s gaze.
Ketho held his breath, heart rate picking up.
Oh no!
“And I don’t know entirely how it would work, but I know I don’t want it to end,” Jarne said. “I want us to stay together. I have feelings for you and—”
“Don’t.” Ketho pulled his hands from Jarne’s. “Don’t say any more.”
Hurt flickered in Jarne’s eyes. Ketho turned away.
Ketho tried to keep his breathing even. He tried to calm his racing heartbeat. But Jarne’s words felt like a net being thrown over him, wrapping around him, tangling and entrapping him. He rose. He couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t.
He glanced at his bag. A sudden urge to flee exploded inside him. He had to get away. Now.
Jarne swallowed. “Why not?”
“Because we’ve had a good time together. We’ve enjoyed it.” Ketho paced to the window, staring out into the grey beyond. “And there is no reason for us to continue.”
“No reason for us to continue,” Jarne repeated, voice soft and full of hurt.
Ketho squeezed his eyes. His hands clenched. “No.”
But Jarne wouldn’t stop. “I care for you,” Jarne said, standing as well and coming up behind Ketho. “And I think you care for me. And I know it would be difficult. I’m not sure of the practicalities, but we could work something out. I’ve been thinking more about it, and I could—”
“No.” Ketho shook his head. “No.”
“But—”
“No!” Ketho snapped, turning towards him.
Silence followed that.
Jarne blinked rapidly. “Just no? That’s all.”
“I don’t… I can’t. No.” Ketho pushed past Jarne. Blood roared in his ears. His chest tingled.
“But this… We care about each other,” Jarne said, voice tight. “We like being together. You came back, and you shared your past with me. I thought… I thought…”
The words tore at Ketho. They were true. He did care for Jarne. He did like being with him. And he had shared himself with Jarne and opened up. Perhaps if he were someone else, they might have a chance at love.
But not for Ketho. Never for him. Because he couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t. Even now, he fought the urge to flee immediately. Jarne’s words alone filled him with panic and dread and the need to run as fast and far away as he could.
