Page 61 of A Winter Redemption
Ketho sucked in a breath.
And still, Jarne continued, “And that means I want you to be happy. And free. And if that means not being with me, then I will accept that. And if you decide to be with me, I will never take anything from you that isn’t freely given.” Jarne squeezed his hands. “I never want to hurt you. I just want to love you and share a life with you.”
Ketho couldn’t look away from Jarne’s intense brown eyes. The words washed over him. The words of love that didn’t try to bind, or trap, or hold him.
“And if you need time to think about this, I can give that to you,” Jarne said. “And if you want to give us a try, I’m happy to do that too. And if you try and then realise it isn’t what you want or that you don’t love me, you can leave.” Jarne’s throat worked. “I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to use you, manipulate you, or control you. I just want to love you. And I want what’s best for you.”
The raw honesty in Jarne’s eyes was like an arrow to Ketho’s heart. Over the years, when Ketho thought of love, it felt like being ensnared. It felt like a net being thrown over him, something containing him so he couldn’t be free and happy.
But that wasn’t what this felt like. Not at all. This love felt pure. Like an open palm, inviting him without strings or chains.
Ketho didn’t speak for several moments. He felt too overwhelmed. Every time he thought of loving someone, the fear and panic rose and choked him until he fled. But he didn’t feel that now. Not at all.
His heart didn’t race. He didn’t have trouble breathing. His vision didn’t blur, and he didn’t feel dizzy. He didn’t shiver with the cold.
“I’m not scared,” Ketho said, amazed.
Jarne had just talked openly about loving him and wanting a life with him, but Ketho felt no fear. No panic or terror. He just felt Jarne’s pure and open love, not a trap or an attempt to get power over him. It just felt warm and right.
And he wanted that love.
“It feels like I could fly free with your love,” Ketho said. “Fly happy and free.” He squeezed Jarne’s hands. “Yes, Jarne. I want to be with you. I love you.”
Jarne beamed, the strain disappearing from his face. “Really? You’ll be with me?”
“Yes. I will,” Ketho said. Ketho wrapped his arms around Jarne. “I want the love you described. I want that type of love. I want a life with you. I love you too.”
Then Ketho kissed Jarne.
“Now go over the cabin again,” Ketho said. “I want to imagine our lives here.”
Chapter 36
The smells of warm bread, hot chocolate, and mulled wine mingled in the brisk, frosty air. Jarne and Ketho passed wooden huts decorated with evergreen branches. Villagers moved slowly, weaving between the huts. The sweet notes of a flute filled the air.
A hand-built snow sculpture showed two figures. Sculptors carved detail into their bodies and faces. Others sculpted a background around them. Jarne stood and admired their skilful hands at work.
“Told you it was magical,” Ketho said, bumping his shoulder.
“Yes.” Jarne chuckled. “It’s all so frivolous and fun.”
“Perhaps we should join the sculptors next year,” Ketho said. “Each year, they make a sculpture, and each year, it is different.” Ketho linked their hands. “Now let’s explore.”
They spotted Mila and Rhorton’s stall. They laughed and chatted with two patrons, twin oreads who bought mulled wine and cookies.
“Ketho! Jarne! Over here,” Rhorton called out.
They came over, and Rhorton shoved cookies and mugs of mulled wine towards them. “You’re not celebrating the Solstice unless you’re eating and drinking!”
“Thanks, Rhorton,” Jarne said.
He reached into his pocket and put down some coins. They took their food and drink and wandered on, making space for all the other customers who’d suddenly appeared behind them.
They stopped at Edwin and Sinoe’s stall next.
“I think you’ll like this one, Jarne,” Edwin said. “It’s an herbal mixture, and it’s got a very pleasing scent when the tea is steeped.”
“I’ll take a few,” Jarne said.
