Page 47 of A Winter Awakening
The next morning, Gael awoke chipper and without pain. He’d slept well.
Orteo hadn’t. He’d dreamt of his sister.
“Why didn’t you look after them?” she’d asked. “They needed you.”
Liney and Ori stood in the background, younglings again, clutching at each other, eyes wide as they stared at him.
“Uncle?” Ori asked.
“Why did you abandon them?” Letira demanded. “Why did you let them down? Why couldn’t you do that for me?”
Liney sobbed.
“Why did you abandon them?” she screamed.
The dream shifted to Gael lying in the snow. Blood flowed down his face, a steady stream, before it dripped onto the snow.
“Help me,” Gael whispered, reaching out for Orteo. “Help me.” The blood dripped and dripped and spread around him on the pristine snow until no white could be seen.
Orteo couldn’t move. Couldn’t speak. Couldn’t lift his feet. Couldn’t reach Gael.
“Please,” Gael begged. “Why do you keep standing there watching me? Why won’t you help me?”
But Orteo’s feet still wouldn’t move.
Orteo stared out the window. Sunlight filtered into the cabin.
“It looks lovely outside,” Gael said. “Let’s go out and sit in the sun.”
Orteo wanted to protest; he wanted to swaddle Gael in blankets and never let Gael move again. But who was he to stop Gael? Orteo was nothing but a failure. He had no right to stop Gael from doing anything.
“All right,” Orteo said.
They sat on a bench out in the sun, not far from the cabin. He’d left Gael there for several minutes whilst he’d gone to fetch Gael’s crutch. He’d seen the rock. He’d seen the few drops of blood on the snow, now a dark brown.
Gael leaned against Orteo, arm around his waist. Several people called out their greetings as they passed and asked how he fared.
Orteo stared at a cabin. Grey smoke rose from the chimney.
“Thank you for yesterday,” Gael said.
Orteo looked into Gael’s green eyes. They sparkled in the sunlight. “What for?” How could Gael thank him after what had happened? How could he still stare at Orteo with so much affection?
“You carried me,” Gael said. “You’re so strong. I actually found that very appealing.” He laughed and squeezed Orteo’s waist.
Orteo wouldn’t have needed to carry Gael if he hadn’t let him fall. If he’d been quicker, he could’ve reached out and steadied him. Protected him. Saved him.
“And then you took me to Sinoe,” Gael said. “I don’t know what I would do without you. You’re so wonderful.”
Orteo shook his head. He wasn’t wonderful. He was a fraud.
“You are,” Gael said.
“I’m not.” The words tore at Orteo’s throat.
“You make me feel safe, cherished, and protected,” Gael said. “I’ve never met anyone like you.”
Orteo desperately wanted to be the person Gael saw. And for a while, Orteo had believed he could be. He thought if he did everything, he could to keep Gael safe and happy, he could be the oread Gael believed he was.
