Page 51 of A Winter Awakening
“And she even said I could come back to Castle Evermore,” Gael said.
“She did?”
“She did. But…” Gael licked his lips. “But I said I wanted to stay with you.” Gael gazed at him, his expression open and vulnerable. “Because I love you. Because you are generous, kind, and wonderful.”
Each word felt like a punch to the gut. Orteo shook his head.
“You’re so together. So in control. So good,” Gael said.
Orteo kept shaking his head. “Gael, I’m not…” His voice broke. “I’m—”
“But you are,” Gael said. “You’re so—”
“I’m not,” Orteo burst out, pulling away from the embrace. He stared at the snow. “I wish I was, but I’m not. It’s a lie.” His gaze met Gael’s.
Gael stood staring at him in confusion.
“I know what you think of me,” Orteo said. “You think because I saved you and helped you that I’m good. That I’m this wonderful oread.” He licked his lips. “But I’m not. I’ve just been pretending to be someone you can rely on, someone you can look up to. I’m not who you think I am.”
“What are you talking about?” Gael asked.
“Truth is, I’m terrible, and I let those I love down. That’s what I do. That’s who I am.”
“No!” Gael stepped towards him, shaking his head. He reached for Orteo.
Orteo stepped back. He stared up at the trees, trying to keep his breathing steady. “My sister died years ago,” Orteo began. “Both her and her partner. It was sudden. I was seventeen, and I loved her so much. More than anyone,” he said, trying to fight the tears.
A bird flittered amongst the branches.
“She left two younglings behind, Ori and Liney,” Orteo said. “I was their uncle. Their beloved uncle. I was meant to be there for them. I should have been there for them. But I just left them with their aunties and disappeared. I abandoned them.” His voice shook. “They needed me, and I abandoned them.”
Gael watched him, the skin between his brows puckered.
“Truth is, before you, I lived on the outskirts of the valley,” Orteo said. “Because I don’t deserve a family, community, or love. I deserve to live alone. And I have. Before you, I’d been alone for so long that I forgot what it felt like to not be.”
Somehow, Orteo found the words to continue. “I thought caring for you was a way to make up for my past. But I’ve just been lying to myself. And you.” He took a shaky breath. “I wanted to be strong for you. I wanted to be what you saw. But I’m just a mess. I’m so sorry. You don’t love me, Gael.”
Gael opened his mouth.
But Orteo spoke first. “You can’t. Because you don’t know me. You love someone who doesn’t exist. It was all a lie.” Orteo’s shoulders sagged. “I’m sorry. You should go back to Castle Evermore. Alisa and your sister forgive you. You’re better off with them.”
Gael didn’t speak. He just stared at Orteo, face frozen in shock.
But then again, what could Gael possibly say to such a confession?
“I’ll leave you alone now. You are wonderful, and my time with you has been the happiest I’ve ever known. I wish only happiness for you, Gael.” Orteo turned and trudged through the snow, leaving Gael behind forever.
“No!” Gael yelled. “No! No! No!”
ChapterTwenty-Seven
Gael panted.
Orteo stopped and stared at Gael.
Gael limped towards him. “You don’t get to say all that and then just leave. You have to let me think this through.”
Orteo’s eyes widened. Gael realised he’d yelled.
