Page 25 of Me and My Christmas Familiar
“I just wanted to be closer,” Kit whispered. “I just wanted to be near you. I’m sorry, Lachlan.” He hunched his shoulders.
“It’s all right. I don’t mind,” Lachlan found himself saying, and it was true. He didn’t mind.
They stared at each other for several minutes.
“Are you scared of me?” Kit asked.
“No. I’m not scared. It’s just—” He sighed. “—it’s a lot to take in. I know you as a cat. I don’t really know you as a human.”
Kit lowered his gaze. “I’m sorry for being two-formed. I’m sorry for being a human.”
The words caused Lachlan’s chest to convulse. “Oh, Kit.” Without a second thought, he reached out and placed a hand on Kit’s shoulder that wasn’t covered by the blanket.
Kit’s breath stuttered. He freed his hand to clasp at Lachlan’s, like a lifeline. He gripped tightly, gaze fixed on their joined hands. Kit’s hand felt so warm and soft on Lachlan’s.
“Have your feelings towards me changed now that you’ve rediscovered your human form?” Lachlan asked.
“You’re my witch,” Kit said matter-of-factly. “I love you.”
Lachlan’s throat seized. Was it really so simple for Kit?
“Since the moment we met, you’ve been kind and caring. You saved me. You fed me. You keep me warm, and you look after me.” Kit leaned towards their joined hands. He pressed his forehead against the back of Lachlan’s hand. His whole body seemed to curl around the part where the two of them joined.
“And every day together, I adore you more and more,” Kit said. “I’ve been so happy with you. Happier than I’ve ever been in my life. I am so proud to be your familiar, to be yours. I love you.”
“And that hasn’t changed at all?”
Green eyes snapped to his. “No. Nothing has changed. Why would it?” Then he lowered his gaze. “Except it has. It’s changed for you. Because you don’t want me anymore. You don’t want a two-form familiar.” Kit gnawed at his bottom lip.
Lachlan wanted to deny it. He wanted to take the pain from Kit. But it would be a lie. Everything would be so much simpler if Kit were merely a cat. Everything would still be as it had been.
“Do you still care for me, even a little bit?” Kit asked, voice so small.
“I do. I do care for you. I just…” Lachlan just didn’t know how.
“And am I still your familiar?” Kit asked.
“I don’t know.”
Kit whimpered at that. His gaze searched Lachlan’s face. “And do you still love me?” His voice strained.
It was too much. Lachlan couldn’t say he still loved Kit. Not now. And he couldn’t say anything else. So he looked away.
“You said you were lonely.” Kit’s hand on Lachlan’s was like a vice. “I was lonely too. But together, we weren’t lonely. I was your familiar, and you were my witch. We were happy. Don’t you remember?”
Kit’s words knocked the air from Lachlan’s lungs. “Of course I remember. You made me so happy.”
“But not anymore.” Kit’s voice sounded defeated.
Lachlan squeezed his eyes shut.
From Kit’s words, it was clear his feelings for Lachlan had not changed at all. Could it really be so simple? Could they really just continue as if nothing had changed?
But something had changed! Everything had changed.
Still, perhaps Lachlan could try to be…something with Kit, in some form. He just didn’t know what.
“I’m not sure what is happening.” Lachlan looked into Kit’s green eyes. “But I care about you, and the time with you has been wonderful…and I don’t want to lose you. I just need to process.”
