Page 33 of The Loneliest Dragon at Christmas
At the time, Jack had not seemed to think him silly and stupid, but maybe he had afterwards. And then today, Avery had asked Jack some of the same questions.
But Avery hadn’t known what else to do! Jack would barely speak to him, wouldn’t look at him, wouldn’t be happy and relaxed in Avery’s den like Avery wanted.
Avery clenched his fists.
Maybe he’d been bad at sex. Truth was, Avery didn’t have much experience with unpaid sexual partners. His father had hired individuals for him when he’d been old enough. Avery had been wary but had gone along with it.
Maybe that had been a mistake. Maybe it had made him incompetent as a lover. After all, the individuals would never give him honest feedback if he were terrible at it. He hadn’t evenused the service in many years. He’d kept feeling empty inside after they left.
And honestly, he’d never been that enthusiastic with any sexual partner. He’d never desired anyone like he desired Jack. Had he been too eager? Too lost in lust?
Avery tugged at his clothes, pulling them off and throwing them, not caring where they landed. He strode to his chests, threw them open, and pulled out all the blankets he had. He carried them to the rug in front of the fire. He piled and coiled them together, building a nest.
Breathing hard, he stared down at it. With a shimmer of energy, he shifted. He grew and stretched, bones and limbs reshaping and skin turning into scales.
Then he curled up amongst the blankets and lay down. He curled his tail around himself as if holding himself together. He lowered his head to the floor and let the fire warm his scales.
Avery had had such high hopes for today. He’d imagined shifting into his dragon form, showing Jack this side of himself.
He’d wanted Jack to stay the night, stay for longer, stay forever.
I wanted to claim him, mate him, make him mine.
Of course, he’d known that was ridiculous to suggest. They’d only just met.
But dragons could form attachments fast—too fast, some said. They could become possessive of others quicker than what was considered socially appropriate by some races, such as humans who spent a long time courting. That was what he’d learnt from books.
Had he done that? Had he become too possessive too quickly?
Avery knew he’d been getting attached fast, but he hadn’t thought he’d crossed any lines or boundaries. After Jack had sucked Avery’s cock last night, he’d gazed up at Avery with thosedeep-brown eyes. He’d been so beautiful with the candlelight caressing his skin.
After Avery had brought Jack to his peak, Avery had felt a sudden urge in his gut, something primal, something that told him to shift and carry Jack back in his claws to his den and never let Jack leave.
But Avery hadn’t done that. He hadn’t given in to his primal dragon needs. Although, he had whispered “mine” whilst staring down at Jack’s dick. That had accidentally slipped out. Then he’d whispered it again after having sucked Jack to completion when Avery nuzzled his groin. Had Jack heard that? Had he thought it weird?
But other than that, Avery had been a civilised dragon and just invited Jack to his den. Then he’d gone home and impatiently waited for Jack’s arrival. He’d prepared his den for Jack. He’d asked Cook what her most impressive dessert was. He’d ordered flowers especially for Jack from the company Daniel said was the best in the city. He’d asked Daniel to make sure his den could be as clean and welcoming as possible for their guest.
Then Avery had paced, eager anticipation brimming inside him until he thought he’d burst.
But it had all been for nought. It had all gone wrong. All his preparation hadn’t been enough. Jack had run from Avery’s den like…like a fire-breathing dragon chased him.
Avery sighed. Smoke rose from his nostrils.
He hadn’t put the decorations he’d bought at the Christmas markets out. He’d wanted to do that with Jack tonight. They sat in their packages on a table. Avery turned and stared at them. His stomach sank deeper and deeper along with his mood.
Avery knew Jack had a family and would want to spend Christmas with them. He wouldn’t take Jack from them, even if he could. But he’d thought that maybe they could have a fewsnippets of time together through the holiday season. They could do some Christmassy things. Then perhaps Avery wouldn’t feel so lonely on Christmas.
Dejected, Avery played through the evening over and over, trying to think of every instance and detail where he might have done something wrong.
But maybe it wasn’t about him, a small part of his brain hoped. Maybe something had happened before Jack came. Maybe he did have to work tonight and he was sad about that.
Avery didn’t really believe that. But he clung to the thought, to the hope.
Maybe… Maybe Avery could go to the bakery tomorrow and speak to Jack. He could ask if he’d done something wrong and apologise.
I’m deluding myself. Jack made that clear when he ran from my den.
Still, Avery couldn’t quite give up on the small fragment of hope in his chest.
