Page 40 of The Last Gargoyle's Christmas Wish
Fuck. I miss being snowed in with him.
He waved as he rushed to the bakery door and entered. What wouldn’t Grady give to go back to just being with Uzoth in his room? He couldn’t remember a time in his life when he’d been happier or more relaxed.
But as the snow cleared, his real life came rushing back. All the responsibility, all the pressures, all the exhaustion, and all the lack of time smashed into him. Once again, he barely had time to breathe.
Guilt spread through him. Poor Uzoth.
Grady hadn’t been able to give him any real time the past few days. He really wished he could. He wanted to laze about in bed with Uzoth, kissing and fucking. He wanted to talk for hours with no responsibilities shoving Grady down into the slush.
Shit! He just wanted to be with Uzoth.
The previous night, Grady had dragged himself home and collapsed by the fire. Uzoth had prepared him tea and food and served him.
Fuck. He didn’t deserve Uzoth. Right now, Uzoth remained above, watching him and his family. He helped in any way he could. He supported Grady.
And what did Grady give him? Scraps of time when he could barely keep his eyes open. How long would Uzoth stick around when all Grady could give him were the leftovers of his life? And he really didn’t have much left over.
Grady swallowed. The fear of losing Uzoth coiled inside his throat, choking him. He didn’t want to lose Uzoth. He cared for him. But why would Uzoth stay with him when he was a mess who gave Uzoth nothing?
How could Grady ask for him to stay with him? It wasn’t fair to Uzoth.
Last night, despite his exhaustion, Grady forced himself to remain longer by the fire. He’d eaten. They’d talked, although he struggled to keep his eyes open. They’d even jerked each other off. It had been great.
And today he’d woken even more exhausted. How could he manage? How could he keep the attention and affection of amagnificent ancient gargoyle whilst trying to keep up with the demands of his normal life?
Grady didn’t know.
When they’d been tucked away during the snowstorm, he’d believed that with a bit of effort, he could make time for Uzoth. But as all the activity, worries, and responsibilities of life came slamming back into him, he just didn’t know how he’d make it all work.
But he couldn’t let Uzoth go. Still, Uzoth deserved so much more than what Grady could give him.
Grady just needed to stop and think for a moment. But he was so fucking tired. He had no time to think.
In the bakery, he began to pack baked goods into crates. He rubbed at the fluttering muscle beneath his eye, wishing he could collapse into bed.
“Do we have any more dried plum tarts?” Grady asked.
Kit looked up from mixing ingredients. “I don’t think so. We tried to make some more earlier.”
“But we are out of dried plums,” Lachlan said.
“What?” Grady walked to the shelves and then to the supply closet. He looked through, and sure enough, there were no dried plums.
Pissing potions! He hadn’t noticed. He’d not been paying enough attention. He’d been too bloody distracted. “I’ll order some tomorrow.”
The back door opened. Trent walked in, taking off his coat.
“Oh, good, you’re here.” Trent looked at Grady. “Ordelia was worried.”
Grady frowned. “Why would Ordelia be worried?”
“You were meant to stop by and pick up Michael to take to the Christmas markets today.” Trent pulled on an apron. “You said he could be your assistant.”
Grady closed his eyes and let out a breath. Shit. He’d completely forgotten.
And Michael had been so looking forward to it. He pictured the young faun eagerly waiting for his uncle to show up. And Grady had simply forgotten him. Grady gritted his teeth. How could he forget his nephew?
“You’re right. I’ll finish packing these crates, I’ll go pick him up, and we’ll go to the Christmas markets together.” Grady had fucked up. But he could still make it work. He could do this. He just needed to stop being such a shit-brained idiot and pull himself together.
