Page 43 of The Last Gargoyle's Christmas Wish
Mouth still open, Grady stared as Uzoth flew off into the air. He hadn’t meant for that to happen. He’d not meant to end their relationship.
He’d just been venting, barely paying attention to the words he spoke as he tried to deal with his frustration, exhaustion, and guilt of letting down everyone.
Then suddenly, Uzoth had been taking off, saying he didn’t want to burden Grady. But that was not what Grady had wanted or meant. Numb, Grady stood staring up at the sky as the minutes ticked by.
But Grady knew Uzoth would eventually return. Uzoth had said he’d continue to watch over him and his siblings, so that meant he would return. And when he did, Grady could call out and gesture for Uzoth to come down. They could talk. He could say it had been a misunderstanding and that he wanted Uzoth in his life. Grady could explain that he hadn’t meant to end things.
Then they could return to the way things had been…with Grady working too hard, exhausted, and still without any time for Uzoth. But was that really the solution?
A few moments later, Uzoth landed on the rooftop, staring down at him. Grady gazed up at the beautiful, intimidating, magnificent gargoyle.
Truthfully, Grady didn’t have the energy for Uzoth. Not really. Even if he wanted Uzoth with all his heart, he just didn’t know how to make it work. So maybe this was for the best.
On shaky legs, Grady strode off, blinking back tears.
It didn’t matter if Grady adored Uzoth. It didn’t matter if Uzoth was the only thing in his life that was truly Grady’s. It didn’t matter if Grady loved Uzoth. His footsteps stuttered.
Shit. Do I love Uzoth?
Grady wiped at his eyes as he pushed on.
I do. I love him.
He let out a bitter laugh. What a time to work it out. But even so, it didn’t change the fact that maybe this was still for the best.
He wanted Uzoth so much his teeth fucking hurt. And the idea of Uzoth sitting on the rooftop over the bakery, so close to Grady but not close enough, caused his whole body to revolt.
But the truth was, he just didn’t have time for Uzoth. He didn’t even have time for the responsibilities he already had. He was already fucking up.
And Uzoth deserved so much more than what Grady could give.
This is for the best.
But with every step, his feet struggled to continue. He shivered. He didn’t want a life without Uzoth. He didn’t want to return home at the end of the day and not sit and drink tea with the gargoyle. He didn’t want to go to bed alone. He wanted to be held by Uzoth as he slept.
Grady clenched his teeth, fighting tears.
He didn’t want to lose Uzoth. But what else was he meant to do?
And honestly, how long would Uzoth have waited around for him? How long would he have stuck around when Grady couldn’t give him the attention he deserved? No doubt Grady had just brought them to their inevitable end earlier.
In a daze, he picked up Michael and took him to the markets. He smiled as best he could to customers and his family. Michael seemed happy. That was good.
Grady was behaving responsibly. He was looking after his family. He could do this.
The next couple of days passed in a blur as the pain burrowed deeper and deeper into his core. He did what was needed. All his focus was on his responsibilities.
He slept less. He found he could not sleep properly without Uzoth holding him. Strange how quickly he’d gotten used to Uzoth in his bed. He stopped sitting by the fire, drinking tea, and eating before retiring. Doing that just hurt too much. So he ate as he went. Probably not enough. But all his siblings had started giving him tea all the time.
He kept up with his duties. But it felt like the light inside him had died and all that remained was a gaping, empty darkness within.
As he walked down the alley behind the bakery, he glanced up at Uzoth. Often he thought of calling to Uzoth and saying he needed him. That he wanted him. That he loved him.
He wanted to beg Uzoth to be a part of his life again. Because right now, Grady’s life felt like the scraps of garbage rotting in the streets.
But nothing had changed. He did not have space in his life. So he would just need to get used to the knowledge that he’d let the love of his life go so that he could look after his family.
He entered the bakery and got to work.
