Luther flinched. He remembered that expression. It hadn’t been directed at him recently. Now it cut to the core of Luther’s very soul.
Because Luther cared for Onyx now. Maybe even loved him.
Luther couldn’t bear for Onyx to hate him again.
“Onyx. Please.” Desperately, Luther reached for Onyx as if he could bridge the chasm that had exploded between them.
Onyx snapped his arm back. “How were you there?” Onyx demanded. “What did you do?”
“It’s all a blur,” Luther stammered.
“A blur?” Onyx shouted. “My sister’s death is a blur!” His voice rang through the temple. Agony and rage passed over Onyx’s face.
Luther shook his head. For once, he tried to recall the memories he always tried to suppress.
“Luther! Where the fuck have you been?” Battle Commander Alleron had stridden towards him. “The rest of the divisions in your battalion have already left for the mission,” she snapped. “All except yours.”
Luther shook his head again as if that would clear his mind. “I’d snuck off to fool around with someone. It was our day off, but …”
“Change of plans,” the battle commander said.
Luther rubbed at his forehead as wave after wave of memories smashed into him. Overwhelming him. Drowning him. He couldn’t breathe! Luther grabbed at his throat as his vision blurred.
The battle commander had briefed Luther as they strode towards his division.
Luther closed his eyes, digging his fingernails into his eyelids. “We received new information. Most of the earth elementals who defended one of the temples had left.”
A strangled noise escaped Onyx.
“So we launched a surprise attack.” Luther’s hands fell. “The others in my battalion had gone ahead. My division was left behind because I wasn’t there. People I knew, my friends, Barrett, they were already fighting. Already risking their lives. And we were behind.” Luther’s hands shook.
“I shouldn’t have been getting my dick sucked even though it was our day off.” The regret knotted Luther’s belly. “I should have been there, ready in case we were needed. I should have been ready to fight by their side.”
Luther looked at Onyx. Anger and torment swirled in the dark depths of Onyx’s eyes. Luther dropped his gaze to the ground.
Luther had stridden towards his division. They’d stood, ready and awaiting his orders.
“We took the tunnels to make up time.” Luther let out a harsh laugh. “But we weren’t meant to use the tunnels.” He shook his head. More laughter, bitter and broken, cascaded from Luther’s lips.
“I didn’t know that. My younger cousin mentioned it. But Errol didn’t know why we weren’t meant to use them, and he’d thought he’d misheard.” Luther squeezed his eyes shut. “Fuck! He was so young. Just eighteen. So fucking young. And he was put in my division and under my care. He was so proud to be fighting alongside me.”
Luther tilted his head back, trying to draw air into his gasping lungs. His head swam as he stared up at the sky. Tears stung his eyes. “I should have found out why we weren’t meant to use the tunnels instead of rushing off. But we were already behind. I didn’t want to let the others down.” He laughed and laughed. “I didn’t want anyone to die because of me.”
We’ll go through the tunnels.His own voice echoed in his ears.
“I wanted to make up time. So I made a decision to use the tunnels. I wanted …” Luther stammered as the tears flowed down his cheeks. “I didn’t know …”
Luther closed his eyes, visions of the past flickering before them.
They’d been flying. They’d entered the tunnels.
Luther flew at the front, leading his division. They flew fast, desperate to join the rest of the battalion and their comrades in battle. Luther kept a sharp eye out as they flew. He could see no problems. They had almost reached the other side of the tunnel. Luther began to take a breath.
A crack echoed above.
Luther turned back just in time to see the roof crumble and cave in. The rocks cascaded down and smashed into Errol’s back. Errol roared in pain. His wings flapped furtively. He didn’t stand a chance.
His wings went limp as the rocks drove him down and crushed him against the ground. More rocks fell, burying him completely.