Page 129 of Courting the Dragon Prince
“I barely even got a slap on the wrist for not being easy to find on the day and for going through the tunnels. There was no official command not to use them. Just rumours and concerns. After that, we were officially told to stop using the tunnels.” Luther took a deep, shaky breath.
“I got a letter from Errol’s father.” Luther’s chin trembled. “He said Errol had been so proud serving with me and that they were proud he’d died fighting bravely for Draconia. They were glad that I, his cousin, had been there with him.” A sob escaped him.
“But I killed him. I killed my cousin. If it wasn’t for me …” Luther’s head dropped back against the wall, chest heaving with sobs. “I thought maybe after the war, I could move on. But since that day, a darkness has taken root inside me, spreading deeper and consuming me.” He took a deep, shaking breath.
“I try and pretend I’m who I used to be. But it’s all a lie. So often, I’ve tried to flee from it, from the darkness. I fly to exhaustion. I drink. I dance. I keep moving. I do anything I can to escape it. To forget it. But the darkness is inside me.” More tears dripped from his jaw. “The darkness is me. So of course I can’t get away from it. Of course I can’t move on.
“Truthfully, I don’t think I deserve to. The people I led through those tunnels can’t move on. Errol can’t move on. They’re buried beneath rock. So why should I get to move on? Why should I get a happy future when they can’t have one? I should have to live with this guilt, this regret, this pain for the rest of my life.”
Onyx moved his lips, trying to speak Luther’s name. But no sound formed. He wanted to take Luther in his arms. He wanted to wipe his tears away.
“I deserve to be miserable.” Luther lifted his hands. Shackles wrapped around his wrists. They were linked together with a chain that clinked as Luther rubbed the tears from his face.
With a sinking sensation in his gut, Onyx realised his wrists had also been shackled. It explained why he felt disconnected from the stone around them. His uncle had used the shackles that cut them off from their magic.
“Recently, I’ve been less miserable. I’ve been happier than I have been in a long time. Because of you, of course.” Luther said the words so flippantly.
Onyx wanted to tell Luther he was glad he’d taken some of Luther’s suffering away. He wanted to say so much to Luther. But the words wouldn’t come.
Luther’s Adam’s apple bobbed. “But it’s better this way. I’ve hated myself since that day. So it’s good you hate me too. It’s a decent punishment for what I did. I’m glad that I am finally being punished for it.”
Onyx wanted to protest. He wanted to say he didn’t hate Luther and that he regretted the words he’d spoken earlier. He wanted to take them back. Because he didn’t want Luther’s pain. He’d just been so angry and hurt.
Luther dropped his hands and placed them on top of Onyx’s, which lay limp on the floor. Luther stared at their hands.
“And what makes this punishment more painful is that I’m falling in love with you.” Luther paused. He squeezed Onyx’s hands. “No. I’ve fallen in love with you, Onyx. I’ve fallen in love with you, and you hate me more than ever. It’s the perfect punishment for my crimes.”
“Luther,” Onyx croaked, finally able to form a word.
Luther’s gaze sprang to Onyx’s, his green eyes going wide. Tears streaked his cheeks.
Onyx licked his lips, trying to find the strength to speak, trying to find the right words.
The door groaned as it swung open.
They both looked towards it. Warden Flint stood in the doorway, several soldiers poised behind him.
“Let’s get these two into the wagon,” his uncle said.
ChapterFifty-Nine
In the back of a prison wagon, Onyx and Luther sat on a wooden bench. Or at least, Luther sat. Onyx slumped against the door at the back of the wagon as they jolted along. The lysithea had worn off a bit but not completely.
Onyx wriggled his toes and fingers. He rolled his shoulders. He lifted his hands. At least he could manage that. But all his movements felt slow. Everything around him swam foggily. He squinted at Luther.
“So where do you think they are taking us?” Luther tried to peer out of a gap in the slats of wood. There were no windows in the wagon. Although, a lantern had been attached towards the front of the carriage.
Two soldiers sat on the bench opposite them.
“Keep your trap shut, you overgrown lizard,” the first soldier, a broad-shouldered woman who sat opposite Onyx, growled at Luther.
The second soldier, a tall, lanky man, sat opposite Luther.
Luther spared the first soldier a look. He raised an eyebrow before once again squinting through the gap. “Is that the best insult you can come up with?”
She sneered.
They’d been travelling for a while now. Or at least, Onyx thought so. It was hard to tell the passage of time since he’d been drugged.
