Page 46 of Courting the Dragon Prince
Senta reached out and placed a hand on Luther’s knee. She gave it a shake. “Luther, you really should try and get along with him better. For Draconia.”
“I was trying to get along with him!” Luther snapped, yanking his knee from her grip. He’d been nice that morning. And that night!
She sat back, her gaze disbelieving. “Then why are you here and he isn’t?”
Luther glanced between his siblings, annoyance rising inside him. Why did everyone always think so little of him? Why was everything always his fault?
He’d been trying. Truly, he had!
Luther jumped to his feet and paced to the bookshelf, staring at the leather-bound books. “I know you don’t think I give a shit about my responsibilities. I knowhedoesn’t either.” Luther’s voice turned bitter. “But I am marrying him as I was told to do. As is my duty.”
Luther’s fingers tightened on his goblet. “I might not be as responsible as both of you, or as him. But I always do what is required of me. I follow Father’s orders. I fought in the war. I led others into battle.” He could hear the tremor in his voice.
Luther closed his eyes. “I am trying … I am … doing my best.”
Why isn’t that ever enough?
Maybe because he wasn’t. Maybe Luther just wasn’t enough, so no matter how hard he tried, he would always fall short.
I am not enough. Everything I do is not enough.
Perhaps Onyx saw that too. Perhaps everyone did. Perhaps they all saw beneath the bluster and bullshit to the truth. Which was that Luther was a complete and utter fuck-up. A total failure. A broken mess.
And I always will be.
For a split second, he could hear the beating of wings. Then the sound of rock cracking.
He opened his eyes. The lettering on the spines of the books blurred in front of him.
Gathering himself, he turned and faced his siblings. He pasted a smile on his lips. “Sorry for that.” He gave a light laugh. “It’s been a long and exhausting day, and I am overly emotional.” He laughed again and drank the rest of his wine. “I clearly need to retire before I give myself over to more dramatics.”
“Luther,” Senta began.
Luther had no idea what she was going to say. But he didn’t want to hear. He needed to get out of here before he fell apart. He waved a dismissive hand and set the goblet down on the sideboard.
“Anyway, I need to wash the snail from my hair, eat, and rest.” His gaze skittered over his siblings, too fast to actually see their expressions. He walked towards the door. “Good night.”
“Stay. We’re sorry. You did well today,” Senta said.
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” Luther didn’t glance back as he exited.
“Luther,” Gerard said. “Wait.”
“I really can’t. I’m very tired and hungry.” Luther didn’t stop walking. He kept his gaze firmly ahead as he made his way to his room.
He spared a thought for Onyx in the inn. He hoped Onyx’s washing water was filthy and icy cold and his bed lumpy and infested with bedbugs.
Because then maybe he’d sleep as poorly as Luther would tonight.
ChapterTwenty-One
Two days until the wedding.
Onyx’s boots echoed on the floor as he walked along the corridor in the section of the monastery provided for the Grey Mountains’ royal family.
Two days until the wedding.
Since the couple’s quest, almost two weeks ago now, he’d barely spoken to his betrothed. Sometimes, they’d been seated together at banquets and events. But Luther angled his body away and spoke to others, clearly not wanting to talk to Onyx.
