Page 48 of You've Got The Love
Amber’s voice pulls me from the cycle.
“Do you think about… stopping?”
I glance at her, then back to the road.
“Stopping?”
She nods, hugging her knees tighter.
“Just… finding somewhere like this. In the middle of nowhere. Waiting until it all goes away.”
The thought is a cruel temptation. I’ve imagined it a thousand times today alone.
“I’ve thought about it,” I admit, voice rough. “But it doesn’t work like that. If we stop, we make it easier for them to find us.”
Her lips press together, and she nods, though disappointment flickers in her eyes.
I want to reach for her, but I can’t. Not now. Not when I need both hands on the wheel and all my focus on the road. So I soften my voice instead.
“We’ll get through this,liefje. I promise.”
The endearment slips out before I can stop it.
“What does that mean?Liefje,” she asks shyly. Fucking adorable.
“In English, it translates to‘darling’.”
She blinks at me, lips parted, and for a moment the world narrows to the sound of her soft breath and the hammering of my heart. Then she looks back out the window, blush covering her cheeks, and I drag my eyes to the road, forcing myself to focus.
The forest feels endless, and the grey sky is starting to fade toward evening. I’ll have to find somewhere to pull off before dark—somewhere I can watch the road from a distance, somewhere no one will stumble across us.
Because loving her feels like the most dangerous thing I’ve ever done.
And I already know I’d do it again.
Chapter 28
Amber
The rain starts mid-morning, a soft mist that beads on the windshield and blurs the pines into tall green shadows. The van smells faintly of coffee and damp hoodie—Bas’s hoodie, which I’m still wearing, because it’s warm and because it’s him.
He hasn’t said much since we left the forest, except for the occasional quiet curse when the road narrows or a truck sprays our windshield. He’s hyper-focused, blue eyes flicking between the mirrors and the road, jaw tight.
I watch him for a while before I finally speak. “You’re doing that thing again.”
His grip on the wheel tightens. “What thing?”
“Where you disappear into your head and forget I’m sitting right here.”
That earns me a sideways glance, brief but sharp, before his eyes are back on the road. “I’m trying to keep you alive, Amber. Thattakes focus.”
I hug my knees tighter to my chest. “I know. But it also… it makes me feel like you’re a million miles away. Like last night didn’t even happen.”
That gets his attention. He exhales, low and rough. “Oh, last night happened. Don’t doubt that.”
My cheeks heat, partly from the memory of his hands on me, his mouth on mine, the weight of him making the rest of the world fall away. “Then why does it feel like you regret it?”
He’s silent for a long moment, the rain tapping its soft rhythm on the roof of the van. Finally, he says, “Because I’m trying to be the man who deserves you. And I don’t know if that man exists right now.”
