Page 7 of You've Got The Love
“Where is it? I’ll go and get it for you,” Andrea offers.
“I’ll get it. Can you empty the till and bag up the cash? It needs to be banked too, if one of you could do that for me, please?” She asks numbly.
Amber runs back upstairs to grab her passport; thank fuck Andrea thought of it; smart woman. Jess is cashing up and placing all the notes into their individual bags. English money is weird. It’s a thin plastic material, and completely waterproof. So strange. We are all ready to roll down here when Amber appears with tear tracks on her too pale cheeks.
“I’m so sorry, everyone. Nothing like this has ever happened before. I’m sorry you are being dragged into it,” Amber sobs quietly, and I immediately pull her into my arms. She feels like she was made to be here, close to me, close enough I can smell her faint jasmine perfume, a scent that is purely her.
“Don’t you apologise, young lady. None of this is your fault: you don’t live the lifestyle, remember that. We need to get going now, promise me you’ll call once you are at Bas’ home,” Andrea looks into Amber’s glossy eyes with matching ones of her own.
“And me, I’ll worry sick otherwise,” Jess puts her arms around all three of us, making us into a small huddle. She’s got tears streaming down her face now, too.
“I promise. I’ve left my personal mobile here, but I have burner phones. I’ll call on those. I love you girls so much. Please could you let Bea know what’s going on, as if shesees the shop closed, she’ll end up getting every emergency service here,” she states sadly.
Both ladies nod and collect up everything they need: handbags, bunches of flowers, work clips, and the banking bag that Jess is shoving into her huge handbag.
Andrea looks up at me with glossy eyes, nods and squeezes my arm. I know what she’s saying; she doesn’t need to say how precious Amber is to her. I nod back, letting her see how precious she is to me, too.
I grab Amber's bag from her and sling it over my shoulder so I can carry the teas and steer her outside towards the truck.
“I’ll lock up, Angel, you and Bas get on the road. Please keep us updated,” Andrea says, looking sick with worry. Amber looks at her like a lost little girl would, which gives me the feeling that she thinks this is more than someone trying to scare her. She gives Andrea and Jess one last hug each, while whispering in their ears.
I direct Amber out of the shop she loves so much and to the passenger side of the truck, I dump her bag on the pavement, and pass her the teas to hold as I heave the door open. The town is busy, and a few people have waved over at her. They have absolutely no idea what is happening or the danger she could be in. I grab her soft, pink suede weekender bag, jump up into the cabin, and toss it onto my bed at the back. I pull my top blanket off and stow it on my seat. It’s soft and warm, and I’m hoping it will give her some comfort on the long drive home. I’m kind of nervousthat she’ll be seeing my place. I really hope she likes it. I’m not going to tell her I live in a windmill; I want to see her reaction.
Jumping down onto the pavement, I notice she hasn’t moved at all; she’s still standing, holding the teas, just staring at them.
“Pass those here,liefje,” I murmur gently, wishing I could remove her worry and take it on as my own. I can’t bear it.
Jumping back up into the cabin, I place the teas in the cup holders and offer her my hand to help her up. She’s tall for a woman, but she still has to give a little heave to get up. She looks around the cabin with inquisitive eyes, taking in the flat screen on the dashboard, which has my sat nav and everything else I need to control anything electrical in the truck.
“Wow, it looks like a cockpit for an aeroplane in here. How do you remember what all the buttons do?” She asks, speaking slightly more animatedly than she has done since talking to her dad. I want to fall to my knees in happiness. I pray I can keep her mind off of everything for a while, at least.
“Here, wrap yourself in this and strap yourself in,” I watch her face as I wrap her in my blanket, her small smile makes me lean in and place a kiss on her forehead, which takes us both by surprise. I’ve never kissed her before, but it just felt so natural, like I’ve done it 100 times. I need to watch myself as I can’t let things like that happen. I just know I could easily go down that route with her.
As she buckles up, I do the same, getting comfortable in my chair as I check my mirrors and push the start button. Looking around, I’m glad I cleaned it out before I left this morning; it was a mess. Fast food containers, water bottles, and crumbs. So many crumbs.
I offer her a smile, then gently pull away from the front of the shop and take one last look at it in my mirror, seeing it dark and closed. Locked up tight. I flick on my indicator and pull out onto the main road that will take us off the island and toward the port.
Chapter 5
Amber
I’m gazing out at the waves crashing against each other through the huge windows on the ferry, but I’m not really seeing them, all I’m seeing is that bloody funeral wreath. Why the blood red roses? I can feel my throat getting tighter, my breathing getting harder. Is someone going to try to kill me? What about Bas?They can’t hurt him. I used to think keeping people out was the safest thing I could do. Now I’m starting to wonder if I’ve already let someone in too far—and what that’ll cost him.
“Amber, put your head between your legs and breathe deeply for me,” Bas says as he gently places his hand on the nape of my neck and pushes my head forward until my shoulders are wedged between my knees. I don’t even ask why; I just move where he wants me.
I’m trying to take in deep breaths, trying to do what he asked, but my throat is getting tighter and tighter, and I’m struggling to breathe between crying. My breaths areshallow and choppy, and I’m sort of gulping against my sobs. It actually hurts. I reach up and massage my throat, hoping it will loosen up. I need to calm down.What is happening to me?My vision starts to fog around the edges, and there are tiny stars beginning to float across the bit of vision I have left. I scrunch my eyes closed, praying it’ll go away. I’m starting to get really hot now, I feel like I’m sweating, so I push Bas’ blanket off my shoulders, which he pulls all the way off for me.
“Come on, baby, breathe with me,” Bas whispers in my ear softly as he rubs my back in circular motions.
I can feel his big body pressing in against me as I hear him breathingin, out, in, out.I try my best to copy him and concentrate on feeling him against me. Why is my throat doing this? I open my eyes and watch my tears fall onto the deep red and gold carpet below, making a little puddle in amongst the floating stars. What is making my chest feel like an elephant is sitting on it?
“That’s it, take deeper breaths for me,” he encourages.
Christ, this is embarrassing. I start taking deeper breaths, and the heavy weight crushing my chest starts easing off slowly, letting me breathe even deeper each time. I keep on breathing with him, feeling his chest filling and emptying with air against my shoulder. I keep concentrating on breathing deeply, feeling my chest rise and fall as I stare at the very 80’s carpet, and the stars start to fade the longer I breathe deeply, and the fog around the edges of my vision gets lighter.
Bas gently pulls me up to face him and uses his thumbs to wipe away the tear tracks. I look up into his eyes and I don’t see pity—I couldn’t bear to see that—but I’m not quite sure what I do see, something I haven’t seen before in the depths of his stunning blue eyes. His blue is different to mine, it’s much lighter. I’ll never tell him, but I painted my front door at home the colour of his eyes. I didn’t realise why I’d picked that colour until I started pouring out the paint. Now I always smile when I go through my door, thinking of him.
“Thank you, I don’t know what came over me. That’s never happened before,” I whisper, my throat feeling raw, as I hold onto his forearms, and he continues to caress my face. If I weren’t so wrung out, I know I would enjoy him helping to soothe me.
