Page 9 of You've Got The Love
“Not threatened, no, but I got sent down here to live with my dad's parents when I was just two years old. Dad didn’t want me to grow up in the life, for which I’ll always be grateful. But he’s been shot three times, shot at many more, stabbed I don’t know how many times, taken by an enemy of the club, and beaten what feels like a hundred times. I will never understand why he loves club life so much. There always seems to be something bad happening,” I tell him, hoping to God that he won’t change his mind about me, that he’ll still see me as he does. I grab my water bottle and take a few long gulps; my mouth is dry as a desert.
“Okay, so itiskind of like that TV show?” Bas asks.
“Yes and no. Yes, in that they do bad things, people get hurt and sometimes killed, women are attracted to that way of life, so there are ‘sweet butts’ at the club, butno in that it’s not half as cool or easy as they make it out to be. It’s a hard way of life; many people aren’t cut out for it, but for whatever reason, my dad is. He’ll never leave. Well, he can’t leave,” I explain.
Bas doesn’t say anything, just continues to drive, which worries me. Is he thinking he shouldn’t have brought me with him?
He still hasn’t said a word.
Oh God.
“You know you can drop me off at a hotel, I’ll be okay, also…”
“That is not happening. No way. Why would you think I want to do that?” He asks, sounding annoyed.
“Well, you didn’t reply, I thought you might have been regretting bringing me with you,” I almost whisper as I hug myself.
“Never. Amber, I’ll never regret anything with you. I was just taking it all in. Who knew the beautiful florist’s father was the VP of a notorious biker gang?” he smirks over at me.
Now it’s me who doesn’t speak. Can’t speak.Beautiful. He called me beautiful. I’ve dreamt of him saying things like that to me while alone in my bed.
“I was trying to make light of it, I didn’t mean anything by it,” he looks concerned that he’s upset me.
“No, I know. Sorry, I’m just so tired, I think I spaced out a bit,” I tell a sort of truth to cover up my silence.
“Why don’t you try to sleep some more? We’ve got a fair few hours to go yet.”
Chapter 6
Bastiaan
The little noises Amber makes while she sleeps are so cute, but so distracting. I want to pull over and watch her sleep, watch her while she dreams. I would love to know what she’s seeing while she’s far away in her dreamland, what she is experiencing that causes her to make those sweet noises and her face to twitch. I’m glad she’s sleeping; she is exhausted, her mind and body both need rest.
It’s dark outside as I drive throughBelgium; the roads are quiet, which I’m grateful for. I just want a nice, clear route home. I glance at the time, it’s nearly 10 p.m., we’ve still got a few hours to go. She must be hungry by now. I know I am; my stomach has been protesting for hours. I’ll make a stop at a service stop to grab something to tide us over. I need a good stretch, too. I’m not old, but sitting like this for hours on end makes you feel that way sometimes. I remember how Marieke would give me a back massage when I got home; she knew just how hard and where to press with hersmall hands.Fuck. I can’t believe I’m bringing Amber back home, granted it's not a home I ever shared with Marieke, but it still feels like a betrayal of some kind that she will be in my house. It’s fucking ridiculous, she’s no longer here. I’m not doing anything wrong by bringing Amber to my home. Yet the guilt is weighing heavier than ever, as if I’m betraying my vows in some way. And that in itself is insane. Sanne has been telling me that I can’t live the rest of my life alone, and if it were her in my situation, I would absolutely say the same thing to her. I know Marieke wouldn’t want me to live my life without love, but I can’t seem to get my mind on board with that like the rule doesn’t apply to me. I gave my heart to someone; we exchanged vows of love and forever. Surely you should only do that once. Shaking my head, I chastise myself for going down that trail of thought at all. I take a sip of my tea, and it’s stone cold.Gross.
I pull off the road and into the brightly lit service station, following the marks on the forecourt to park in the designated truck bays. I tilt my head back to stretch my neck out as I turn to look at her. She is wrapped up in my blanket, facing me, and all I can see of her face is her eyelids and nose. Christ, this girl makes me smile. I don’t want to wake her up; she looks so peaceful. However, I can't not wake her up, in case she woke up while I was gone and ended up in a panic attack again. I won’t have that. I lean toward her and watch her sleeping, and all I want to do is pull her into my arms, to run my hands through her blonde curls. But, again,my guilt rears its ugly head, so I sit back, pull my hair out of its now loose bun and retie it.
While she’s sleeping, I’ll give Sanne a quick call and fill her in on the situation, not the whole situation, otherwise she’ll worry. I dial her number and listen to the dial tone.
“Why isn’t this a video call? What’s wrong?” She demands before I’ve even had a chance to say ‘hello’.
“I didn’t want to see your face,” I joke in my older brother way.
“Fuck off. Switch to video call.”
“No. I’m not alone. And keep your voice down.”
“Why aren’t you alone, dear brother? Who do you have with you?”
“Urgh, I hate you sometimes,” I say as I switch to a video call.
“Who do you have with you? You know I’ll just keep asking until you tell me,” She taunts, and I do know she’ll do just that.
“Amber,” I whisper.
“The beautiful florist? Let me say hi, I want to see her!” She sounds way too excited and loud.
“She’s asleep. Anyway, that’s why I’m calling. Can you have Abel for a while longer…”
