Page 19 of You've Got The Love
“Amber? Why didn’t you fuckin’ answer?”
“Dad, sorry, I was in the bathroom,” I lie through my teeth.
“You haven’t checked in this afternoon, what’s been going on?” Dad almost barks at me.
“Not much, I can’t exactly go and explore, can I?”
“No need for the attitude, babygirl, I’m doing my best here. I wanted to apologise for you know… how our conversation went last time,” he says like this physically pains him. He’s never been good with apologies, or words, really.
“I think you forget that I’m a grown-up sometimes, Dad. I run a business, a home, and I do them well. As much as you hate to think of me as grown up, I am, and I have been for a while,” I murmur softly to him, very aware that Bas is hovering at the door watching me.
“I know. It’s hard for me, but I’m tryin’. When you have kids, you’ll understand. Christ, that’d make me a fuckin’ grandad.”
“Ha! Well, don’t worry about that, I have no plans on ruining your reputation with the ‘sweetbutts’ anytime soon,” I smile down at my lap.
“They love me, grandkids or not. Anyway, I gotta go and try and sort this shit so you can get back home. Love you, Amber,” he whispers the last part.
“Love you too, Dad.”
I sit and stare at the phone for a few seconds to gather my thoughts before I look up at Bas, who looks so beautiful it makes my insides ache.
“Are you hungry? I’ll put dinner on,” he says quietly as he backs out of the room without waiting for a reply before he disappears.
Fuck. What now?
Chapter 10
Bastiaan
Iwatch Amber out of the corner of my eye as she finishes the dinner I made for us. I’d practically run into the kitchen earlier like a fucking chump, scared of the woman who had been sitting on my bed looking so perfect wearing my clothes. The emotions she evoked in me from the moment we met were overwhelming, but now, after kissing her, they felt like they were about to consume me. Swallow me whole.
As I stare at the window in front of me, but not seeing out of it, I feel like the guilt that follows me around constantly is now covering me, draping over my back like a cloak that is threatening to choke me. How had I let go and kissed her? I’m a married man, for fuck sake. I know Sanne is always telling me that it was time to move on, that it had been six years since Marieke had gone, but I’m married in my heart. Amber deserved more than half of the love someone had togive. She deserved it all. And she certainly wasn’t a woman who you had a ‘friends-with-benefits’ type thing with.
“Bas?”
I turn to look at her pure blue eyes and those lips. Her plump pink lips that I had tasted. Had feasted on and now knew their flavour. That was dangerous knowledge to have.
“Yea?”
“What’s on the top floor of this place?” She asks quietly.
“Want to see?”
“Yes!” Her answering smile transforms her face and fills my chest with pure joy.
She jumps up, grabs my plate and almost slams into the kitchen island. She is humming to herself as she loads up the dishwasher, wiggling along to whatever song she’s hearing in her head.
The last few hours since our kiss had been tense to say the least. I felt like my stomach had cramped so tight that it would never relax again. I kept replaying the kiss over and over in my mind, wishing it had never happened and wanting to kiss her forever, all at the same time.
My mind was a jumble of half-thoughts and images as one slammed into the other, not staying in the forefront long enough for me to try and think clearly. It was a constant merry-go-round of self-loathing and wanting. I need to clear my mind from all the shit swirling around in it, so I grab a bottle of water and aDiet Cokefrom the fridge to take up with us and stop to look at the beers thinking I would love one right about now. No, alcohol really isn’t agreat idea with how little restraint I apparently have around this woman.
Amber shut the dishwasher door with a peppy, “Done!”
“Come on then, Bell,” I can’t help but grin at her excitement.
She lets out a little squeak as she follows me up the old spiral staircase and through the door to my ‘viewing platform’, as Abel likes to call it.
“Bas…” she breathes in wonder as she takes in the giant telescope I have pointed up towards the small double glass doors and out into the night sky. It’s only early, so it’s not completely dark yet, but the views are still breathtaking.
