Page 86 of You've Got The Love
The moment my burner reconnects to British service, I type out a message with shaking fingers to my girls.
Me: I’m okay, back on home shores. I’ll explain soon. I love you. Ax
My chest tightens when I see Jess reply almost immediately:
Jess: THANK FUCK. We’ve got the shop. Just come home safe. Can’t wait to tell you about Pirates dong, shiver me timbers!!. Love you, Bell.x
Bea: Oh thank god! I cannot wait to squeeze you to death and have a tracker implanted in your arm. Love you so. Bea x
Andrea: I can’t wait to see you, my angel. I’ve missed you more than you know. Comehome!
Home.
The word feels strange, because when I close my eyes, home doesn’t look likeHampstead Islandor my little flat above the florist. Home smells like pine and woodsmoke. Home wears glasses at night and calls meliefje.
Bas.
I press his hoodie to my face, inhaling the scent that’s fading a little more each day. I wish I’d stolen more than one. I can still feel the rough warmth of his stubble against my cheek, the weight of his arms around me when the world felt like it was caving in. And now… nothing.
He didn’t fight for me. Not really. He let me walk away.
Maybe that’s not fair. He saved me, risked everything for me. But when it mattered most, when I wanted to fight for us, he chose fear over love.
And now I’m supposed to pick up the pieces of my old life like I’m the same woman I was before.
I’m not.
Dad claps a hand on my shoulder, pulling me back to thepresent.
“We’ll get you home, babygirl. Safe and sound.”
I force a small smile and nod. “Thanks, Dad. And thank you for understanding that I need to go home. With MC guards outside, obviously,” I roll my eyes at his overprotectiveness.
He studies me for a long moment. “Hmm. I’m not happy about it, so you’ll have guards until your ‘old man’ knows he ain’t gonna have a heart attack every five minutes. You thinkin’ about him?”
“I can’t stop.”
His jaw ticks, but his voice softens. “Good man or not, he’s broken. Sometimes… you can’t love someone whole. They have to choose to be whole first.”
I blink hard, trying to keep the tears from spilling over. “I just… I thought he would choose me.”
Dad squeezes my shoulder. “Give it time. Life’s funny like that. If he’s meant to be yours, he’ll find his way back.”
I nod, but in my chest, I feel the hollow ache of someone who isn’t sure they can wait forever.
When I step into my little flat above the florist’s that night, it smells faintly of dried roses and lavender. The girls left the place spotless, a vase of fresh flowers waiting on the table. I drop my bag and sink into the couch, staring at the quiet room.
Safe. Home.
And completely, achingly empty.
I wrap myself in Bas’s hoodie, close my eyes, and for the first time since I left him, I let myself cry.
Chapter 45
Amber
The bell above the door jingles, the familiar chime echoing through the little florist. The scent of eucalyptus and damp earth fills my lungs, grounding me in the place I used to feel most alive.
