Page 11 of Our Bright Christmas Town
I’d dreamed of this—that one day, Kieran would turn around, look at me, and realise that who he wanted had been here all along. And then he’d kiss me and we’d live happily ever after in some shiny castle. Yeah, I’d always been a hopeless romantic when it came to him. Too bad that kind of thing only ever happened in fairy tales.
Because—no. Not like this. Not in a crowded bar with sticky counters and my ex watching, not just Kieran trying to prove a point.
And yet I didn’t move away.
Held my tongue and my breath for him, just like I’d done since we were fifteen—a decade, and I was still so very in love with him. Didn’t matter how hard I tried to move on.
His mouth brushed over mine, the contact light and cautious, almost a little clumsy. But, God. It wasKieran. My lungs felt too small to power the vast expanse of my body, a sparkler going off behind my ribs and crackling in my blood. The bar’s neon glow filled my vision, too damnbright. I closed my eyes and dragged him closer.
His hand slid into my hair, fingertips warm and sure, open mouth catching mine. I pressed into him, felt the solid line of his body against me, pink and blue flashing behind my lids. Fuck. This wasn’t some teenage dream—reality sharp in how I tasted the ale on his tongue, people jostling us as they passed, the thrum of music in my gut.
I drew back for a harsh breath, dizzy with it. Paige was gone. Whatever, good riddance.
“Ash.” Kieran sounded hoarse, and I met his eyes, found his lips parted, pupils blown wide. He was… He wasn’t joking. This was more than just some game to prove a point and defend my honour, or whatever crazy impulse might have gripped him.
I’d never seen him look like that—at me, at anyone.
God, I neededair. The humid press of bodies was suffocating. I broke free of his hold, shoved my way past laughing strangers. I just… fuck. It was cruel, being handed this mirage of everything I wanted when I knew, I bloodyknewthat it would slip like water through my fingers.
“Ash?” Kieran called, voice just barely cutting through the noise. I heard him, though. I’d hear him anywhere. My breath came in short little bursts.
I pushed past a cluster of lads who toasted each other with their pints, towards the exit. Spilled onto the pavement, icy wind slicing through, our coats left in the car. I welcomed the shock of reality.
Hurried footsteps, then Kieran grabbed my elbow. “Ash, hey. What’s going on? Why are you running?”
“I’m not running.” The denial was instant, honed by years of practice. I didn’t try to shake him off—didn’t truly want him to let go. “Just needed some air.”
“Paige?” he asked softly, like I was some wounded animal that needed soothing. Oh my God, he was just… so very kind. So fuckingoblivious.
“No,” I said shortly.
“Oh.”
Kieran’s touch fell away. The road stretched behind and before us, nighttime stragglers drifting past, trailing conversation and laughter in their wake.
“Is it, um.” Kieran wrapped both arms around himself, looking abruptly smaller than usual. “Is it me? Did I overstep? I thought you were—but maybe not, and I just wanted to show the guy what he’s missing.”
“I know, okay?” It came out too harsh. Streetlights swayed through my vision. “I know that’s all it was, thanks.”
Fuck. The words were fine, but my tone gave me away—too much, too bloodyhurt. I didn’t dare look at him.
“Ash, are you…” He trailed off, and if he asked me whether I was fine, I might just scream. “You’re not, uh… Just something Dom said, okay?” He paused for a chuckle that held a nervous edge. “It’s silly. You’re probably gonna laugh, but… So, he thinks you could be in love with me?”
The world ground to a halt. That’s what it felt like anyway, all my secrets ripped away and exposed.Deny. I raised my gaze, grasping for resolve, and found Kieran watching me with eyes turned black by the cover of darkness.
And… fuck it.
“Was that a question?” I asked, my voice thin and reedy.
He didn’t move and somehow still looked like he was reeling from a blow. “You’re not laughing.”
“I’m waiting for the punchline.”
It was me.Iwas the punchline.
For a heart-shattering beat, there was nothing. Just us, staring at each other in the light of a passing car. Then Kieran’s hand reached to circle my wrist, his fingers cold against my pulse point. “How long?”
A fucking lifetime.
