Page 4 of Our Bright Christmas Town
Another laugh as Kieran bumped our shoulders together. “Yeah, trust me, the glamour fades fast when you’re wearing scrubs covered in God-knows-what and sleeping in broom closets during a 12-hour shift.”
“Any regrets?” I asked softly.
He paused for a sip of Bailey’s, then exhaled. “No. Just a bit tired, but I know it won’t always be like this.” He shook it off and smiled. “But enough about me. What’s new with you?”
I set about unravelling the string of lights, new and tangle-free—the opposite of what they’d look like in January, when I’d inevitably find them knotted beyond reason. No Kieran to help me take them down.
“Thinking about getting a dog,” I said. “Been reading up on it a little. It’s a big time commitment, especially if it’s one from a shelter—they may need quite some attention and care at first. But with what I do, I could bring a dog along for most of my day, so I think it could work.”
“Oooh.” Kieran turned it into a sentence all on its own, eyes bright. “Can I come with you? Unless, uh.” Hesitation flashed across his face. “Unless you’re gonna go with... what’s his name?”
It took me a moment to realise who he meant, then I snorted. “Paige? Ah, no—he broke it off.”
“Oh.” Kieran’s voice dropped slightly, a strange tilt to it. “I’m sorry. Are you okay? Why didn’t you say something?”
Because you were half the reason.
“Just forgot.” I let out a chuckle. “And I’m fine. I really wasn’t that invested.”
Kieran plucked one end of the fairy lights from my grasp so we could wind them around the tree. “Still,” he said. “What a twat. Any guy should be tripping over himself to date you.”
I twisted my lips into a half-grin. “Thanks. Don’t think you’re a qualified judge, though, given you’re straight and all.”
“Yeah, about that.” Kieran shifted his weight, gaze flicking from the tree to me. He didn’t finish, which—huh?
“About what?” I asked.
“I kind of, um.” He paused. “Like—kissed a guy. A couple of weeks ago.”
My mind whited out for a second because he—he’d—what? But... “Like, for a laugh?” I frowned, stupid heart thumping against my ribs. “Not cool, Kieran. Hardly fair to the poor bloke.”
“It was Dom.” While light, Kieran’s tone betrayed a hint of caution. “There was mistletoe, people were egging us on.”
“Dom?” I echoed.
“Well, yeah. Just, someone dared us, so we did. But I kind of...” Kieran made a vague, swirl-around gesture with his hand. His gaze skittered from me to the tree and back. “I kind of liked it? So it—you know. It made me think.”
My centre of gravity felt off, jerked a foot to the left. “You liked kissing Dom.”
“Not him specifically,” Kieran corrected quickly, rushed. “It was literally two seconds. Plus, he’s straight, so that would be a pretty dumb move.”
Well, thanks—I was aware. Except, was Kieran implying that he…?Christ. I clutched the string of lights in my hand and couldn’t quite look at him. “Kieran, you’ve been dating girls since you were fourteen. Tons of them.” Not the point, just my jealousy on display. I shook it off. “And now you’re telling me you’re…”
“Bi,” he finished quietly. “I think so, anyway.”
My stomach lurched, like I’d missed a step on the staircase and was about to go tumbling down, head over feet. “Youthinkso.”
“It just never occurred to me before.” He sounded hesitant, shoulders hunched in just a little, and fuck, I needed to be a better friend. If this was true, not just a feverish projection of my wayward brain…
I inhaled and forced a smile that felt slightly off, made myself meet his eyes despite the strange rush in my ears. “Okay. That’s… big, of course. You’re sure about this?”
“I mean, I haven’t exactly—like, it’s pretty new.” He needlessly straightened a branch. “Haven’t even kissed a bloke—not for real, anyway. And I don’t want just a casual hook-up, so…”
My mouth went dry. “Thought that’s your specialty? Casual flings that fizzle out.”
“Pot, meet kettle.” His gentle tone was layered with a strange tightness. “But, no. What I mean is—just, I’d like my first time to be with someone I trust. First time with a guy, that is. Like, you know.” He stopped as if waiting for something, then added, “It’s kind of a big deal, right?”
The swirl of his aftershave made my blood buzz with something like motion sickness. Was this—no. Or…?
