Page 74 of Under The Twilight Rainfall
My aching muscles protest the stretch as I realize any further sleep will evade me. I roll to say something to Valen about it being his fault, but he isn’t there. Even as my pulse skyrockets, I shove my feet to the cold floor, clad in nothing but a pair of boxers Valen insisted I put on after our bath earlier.
The bathroom light is on with the door wide open, and when I cross the threshold, there he is: standing in front of the mirror with his hair slicked back and water dripping down his face, wearing no more clothing than me.
“Hey.”
My presence doesn’t startle him, and I see the reflection of his warm smile in the mirror, but I also see the exhaustion in his expression and the red rim around his eyes.
“Val,” I breathe his name, and he readily steps into my open arms. “Baby.”
I don’t have to ask what’s wrong. His grandpa just died. The man he’s been hiding his love from for years is waltzing out the door in… six hours because Val’s stubborn ass won’t hop on the flight with me.
“I’m fine,mahal ko.” He says it like it’s a relief, like not being able to end every sentence with his love for me was such a hardship. But I love the way it sounds whispered into the crook of my neck.
“Stubborn ass. Just say it.”
I feel his hesitant smile followed by the slow drip of wetness on my shoulder.
“I’m going to miss you so damn much.”
“Then come with me.” I hold him tight to me, like I can somehow fuse us together and erase his heartache entirely.
“I can’t yet. They need me.” His family. The family Valen will so fiercely protect no matter how it batters his own heart.
I find the shell of his ear and brush the mix of black and pink strands aside, pressing my lips close.
“I need you, too.”
He shivers from head to toe, then lifts his head to brush a brief, open-mouthed kiss to my lips. “When things calm down and I can work out a schedule with my boss, I’ll join you.”
“You know I make enough money to support us both, right? And if you cam with me, that profit can split between us.”
His face sours just a bit, and when he tries to cover it with another smile it looks more like a grimace.
“It’s not that I look down on what you do. I don’t. I’d be a hypocrite since I’ve been watching you for so long.” A blush stains his cheeks as his eyes dart away, and though I want to tease him, I let him finish. “I don’t mind filming with you, but in the long term… I’m not sure how I feel in front of the camera. Pictures are one thing, but I don’t want to share all of our intimate moments with half the internet.”
I grasp his warming cheeks in my hands, rubbing over the red under his eyes with my thumbs. “Was what we did earlier okay? I can take the stream down. And I don’t have to do the final cut.”
He shakes his head, turning slightly to kiss my palm.
“It was fine, love. I enjoyed it. I enjoyedyou.”
A few stray tears still drip from his lashes, and I wipe them away with the pads of my thumbs as I caress his cheeks.
I could never admit it out loud, but there’s a small part of me that’s relieved. The part that’s always waiting for the other shoe to drop. The part that doesn’t believe Valen’s love can run as deep as it does.
I want to drag him with me just to spite that stupid voice.
If you ask me when I fell in love with Valen, the truth is a long time ago. When my heart was freshly broken and not even I could understand what I needed, Valen took care of me. Protected me. No matter how roughly I pushed him away or threw his efforts in his face.
When I needed space, he gave it to me. Seven years of it. Any rational person would have moved on.
The torch Valen carried brought to life a part of me I thought the world had snuffed out for good that night under the bridge.
“I’ll call you as often as I remember,” I say, knowing how lame it sounds.
He presses forward and winds his arms around my neck, rubbing his nose on mine.
“I’ll love you even if you forget.”
