Page 23 of Roleplay at Randy's
Those pretty, brown eyes widen and fill with mirth. “What exactly do you think I get up to, Elias?”
The way he says my name has a shot of arousal shooting through my veins.
“I’ve sort of tried not to think too hard about it,” I say with a breathless chuckle, ducking my head because there’s already a tsunami of inappropriate thoughts bursting alive up there. “But I’m guessing the answer is jerking off?”
With a strangled groan and a heavy sigh, Matty rounds the couch and plops down. “You’re welcome to think about—or not think about—whatever I’m doing as long as I’m under your roof. I’m at your mercy.”
The smile is a little strained, a little forced, and I shake my head curt and firm.
“That’s not funny, and we’re not doing that. I asked you to come here because you’re my friend, and I want you to be safe. Seriously, I’m fine with whatever you choose to do with your body. It isn’t my business, even while you’re here. You deserve comfort and privacy.”
Matty’s eyes fall to his lap, to his clasped hands, but I see the mask slip out of place. “I’m going to cry again, and you’re going to pretend you don’t see it.” His voice wobbles, but I don’t argue.
I cross a few feet from the doorway to the couch, and when I take up the seat beside him, Matty leans into the arm I hold open. His shoulders shake with quick sniffles and broken laughs, and I do as he requests.
I don’t ask him to tell mewhyhe’s crying, why my sappy self makes him so emotional, and instead I just hold him.
Because with the way he seeks contact—a hand clenched in my shirt, the other trembling on my knee as he rubs hisface into my shoulder—I get the feeling no one has in a while.
It’s sometimeafter midnight when I hear a shout. My first instinct is Cal, but when I sit up, I find that he's still taking up half of my bed where he passed out a couple of hours earlier.
Thinking it was maybe too vivid of a dream, I rub at my eyes and move to lay back down, but then I hear it again. More muffled. Followed by a sob.
The wood floor is cold beneath my bare feet, but I stay quiet and steady as I traverse into the darkness of the living room.
There’s little, wet noises coming from the direction of the couch, and when a pained gasp comes out, I reach for the switch on the lamp nearby.
The room is bathed in a soft, yellow glow, and I find Matty curled up with the blanket I lent him, shaking, but his eyes are still shut tight.
I kneel on the floor beside the couch and reach a hand up to stroke his hair. “Shh. Matty. You’re okay.”
A harsh cry makes its way past his parted lips, and I tuck some of the hair behind his ear to cover his cheek with my hand.
“Matty. Matty, sweetheart, you’re safe.”
Finally, the whimpers recede, and so very slowly his eyes flutter open. Wet and unfocused, until they finally land on mine, and the recognition seems to wake him up.
“Elias?” His voice is small and raw, and when he props up on his elbow, looking at me with utter terror in his eyes, my heart clenches painfully in my chest.
“Right here, sweetheart.”
It’s instant. He hooks an arm around my neck and draws me to him, burying a fresh set of tears into my t-shirt.
“I’m sorry,” he hiccups, grip almost bruising. “Please stay.”
I wrap my arms around him, letting him get it all out of his system. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ve got you.”
Eventually, I work my way onto the couch, pulling Matty against me as close as I can without putting him in my lap. He holds on like he’s at risk of falling, of being flung from a vehicle going recklessly down the highway.
We stay like that until his sobs settle, until they dissolve into uneven, heavy breaths hot against my neck. Matty’s arm slowly loosens and slides down my back, resting around my waist.
“Sorry,” he says again, voice weak and dull, eyes pressed into my shoulder. “Christ, I haven’t had one that bad in a while.”
I rub his arm slowly and gently, leaning my cheek on the top of his head. “Nightmare?”
He nods, and I feel more than hear his sharp intake of breath. “I was drowning … suffocating … and he just walked away from me.”
The words are barely a whisper, and I tighten my arms around him almost protectively.
