Page 132 of Lethal Torture
But Alexei is old enough, and has seen enough of our world, to know there’s absolutely no chance of making a romance between the two of them work. Roman would never allow it. And quite beyond the obvious objections about age and family ties, from what I know of Alexei’s savage reputation, I can’t help butunderstand why he would want to keep any feelings he might harbor strictly under lock and key.
It’s what I should be doing, after all.
I take a large mouthful of wine.
“Sometimes,” I say slowly, “people have to make hard decisions, no matter what they feel.”
Ofelia’s head jerks up in surprise. “You’re not going to tell me I’m wrong?”
“No.” I half smile. “I might be much older than you, Ofelia, but I’m not blind yet. It’s obvious that there’s something between the two of you, and that Alexei feels it, too.” Seeing her eyes widen eagerly, I hurry on before I make a very sticky situation even worse. “But I think he’s working extremely hard to move past those feelings. And if you’ll forgive me for saying so, I think you should try to let him.”
Watching the hope in her eyes die makes me feel like the worst kind of traitor.
But I go on anyway.
“Like you said, you’re twenty years old now. You’re not a kid.” Her eyes stay locked on mine as I speak. “You know the world your father and I live and work in. That world is Alexei’s, too. And from what I hear, his is even more dangerous than ours.”
“I know.” Ofelia speaks flatly, not shying away from it. “I can read the news like anyone else. I hear the stories and see the way even Papa’s men treat him. I know Papa and Darya wish he would stick to building a corporation with Lars. I hear them talking about it all the time.”
“But he hasn’t done that,” I say gently. “For whatever reason, Alexei has chosen his path. And it’s one he can’t ever ask you to walk with him, not even if he wanted to. He knows that Roman would never agree to it. And more than that, he knows that to ask such a thing of you would be a dishonorable request. Nodecent person would want to drag someone they love into the darkness and danger of that life.”
Every word feels like a reminder to myself of what I’m doing to Luke. Every cold, hard fact feels like another door clanging shut, locking my heart away in the prison in which it spent so many years, before Luke came along.
“But what if it’s mychoiceto face that life with him?” Ofelia stares at me, pale faced, all trace of tears gone. “Why don’t I get to make that decision for myself? It isn’t like I haven’t been forced to confront that kind of darkness. More than once, in fact.”
I don’t try to deny it. I know it’s true. And something tells me that Luke would make exactly the same argument.
Which is why I know precisely what I need to say.
“Facing the darkness through no fault of your own is one thing,” I say quietly. “Choosing to bind yourself to it for the rest of your life is quite another. You have a career ahead of you, Ofelia. A brilliant one, if tonight is any indication. You’re stunningly beautiful, incredibly talented, and obviously very intelligent. You have a lot of years ahead of you in which to forget Alexei Petrovsky and allow someone else to win your heart. Someone who comes without the kind of very dangerous complications Alexei faces on a daily basis. I know it’s frustrating to have him take the decision out of your hands. But I’m going to be as honest with you as I can, Ofelia: if he behaved any differently, I’d be deeply disappointed in him.”
The worst of it is that I’m speaking as much to myself as I am to her. And deep down, I know I’m fucking right, and I hate it.
For a long moment we stare at each other from opposite ends of my sofa, Ofelia searching my face as if she expects to find a lie there.
Then, finally, when she finds nothing but truth, she hangs her head and begins to sob, deep, wracking tears that come from far inside her and break my heart.
I rub her back slowly and hand her tissues, fighting back tears of my own, not only for the love I’ve just forced her to relinquish, but for the future that, up until now, I dared to dream Luke and I might be able to have.
31
LUKE
“There’sno need for you to come with me, old cock.” Paddy shoots me a curious glance. “Thought you’d have something better to do than reconnaissance in a muddy ditch with me.”
“It’s my fucking job, isn’t it?” I raise the binoculars to my eyes, ignoring his critical gaze. “Where is this fucker going,” I mutter, watching Bogan Kozlov speaking on the phone as he gets into his car. “Isn’t he usually sleeping at this time of the afternoon?”
“That he is. Something’s up, for sure, and for once it isn’t my cock.”
“For Chrissakes,” I growl. “Shut up about your fucking cock. Nobody gives a shit.”
I regret the words as soon as they’re out of my mouth, knowing they give me away.
Paddy, wisely, doesn’t bite.
“You want to tail him?” he says instead. “Going to look a bit off if we both get after him.”
“Yep. I’ve got it.” I slide back down the embankment and pull my helmet on as I straddle the bike and turn the power on. On a screen in front of me, the transponder I stuck under Kozlov’s car bursts into life. “Got him,” I say.
