Page 95 of Gravity of Love
Zion:Do not spiral. I repeat, do NOT spiral, please. He probably just—IDK—needed time to finish the last phase of his master plan. Or maybe he’s picking up something for the wedding. Or maybe all hot doctors are required to brood by law. Whatever it is, until you speak to him, Shane and I both forbid you to spiral.
Frankie slid down the bookshelf, settling in a crisscross applesauce position, and leaned her forehead against the glass window, the coolness shocking her back to the moment. She watched a squirrel scurry across the grass, its tail a fluttering question mark against the bright blue sky. She wanted to believe Zee, she really did, but her stomach gnawed at itself with the certainty that something was wrong. That just like the first time they’d almost had something, he’d bailed. Maybe she was fundamentally unlovable in the only way that mattered.
She didn’t want Shane to think she was, in fact, spiraling, but at this point, she honestly didn’t care. She needed her bestie, and if an Oscar winner thought she was pathetic, so be it.
Frankie:There’s brooding, and then there’s vanishing.
Zion:He’s probably just scared. He made a big romantic gesture and then panicked. Maybe he’s bad at feelings.
Frankie:This isn’t a big romantic gesture. My mom found this room. He didn’t show me.
Zion:See. You proved my point. He loves you, that’s a fact. He did all that without you even knowing. What’s happening now is one of three things, his phone’s dead, he has temporary amnesia, or he was abducted by aliens. Whatever it is, you’re not going to die alone. Or dance alone, remember the end of My Best Friend’s Wedding.
Frankie smiled as a tear slid down her cheek.
Zion:Do you need me to come get you?
Frankie:No, I’m good. I’ll see you in an hour.
Zion:Sure?
Frankie:I swear on Pacey Witter.
They both loved Dawson’s Creek and were die-hard Pacey and Joey shippers, but more than anything else worshipped at the altar that was Pacey Witter and took the took sanctity of Pacey Witterveryseriously.
Zion:See you in an hour, Gorgeous.
Frankie closed her eyes and let herself believe Zion for half a second. Maybe he was abducted by aliens. Then she blinked and scrolled back through the camera roll, watching the video she’d just sent her bestie, looking for some hidden clue, some message she’d missed. She zoomed in on the paintings, searching for a note or a signature, but it was just her own childish handwriting, her own old dreams, staring back at her.
She stood and paced the sunroom, the soles of her feet chilled by the polished cement of the concrete floor, as she thought about every moment since she’d seen Liam walking towards her in the emergency room. About the way Liam had looked at her, like he wanted to memorize each detail of her, and how she’d tried to keep it light, to keep it surface, because she was afraid of what it meant if she let herself fall into that green-eyed gaze. She thought about the hike up to the waterfall, where he’d told her things about his childhood, things she hadn’t heard even when they were inseparable growing up. She thought about the way he’d kissed her in the hallway, then instantly got angry at himself for wanting her, and howhe’dbeen the one to tellherhe loved her.
She also thought about how easily he’d cut his dad and brother off. And how he’d Mission Impossibled Yaya’s house, which one would think was in the he-loves-me column instead of the he-loves-me-not. But what that told her was, if he wanted to he would. If he could turn Yaya’s house state-of-the-art in lessthan twenty-four hours and make this art room of her dreams a reality, there wasno wayhe couldn’t text her back or get in touch with her some way when she’d told him that she needed to speak to him.
The longer she stood there, the more the room began to feel like a mausoleum instead of a gallery. Now all she could think as she looked at this love and labor was,what if it’s all over? She hated herself for that thought and for the gnawing pain that grew behind her ribs every time she tried to convince herself she didn’t care.
Her phone buzzed with a message from her Theia Dee Dee saying it was time for final touches and then to get dressed. Another wave of tears threatened, but she blinked them back, not wanting to smudge her makeup even worse. She turned away from the wall of memories and took one last panoramic scan with her eyes, as if she might never see this room again. Then she squared her shoulders, wiped her cheeks, and headed out, retracing her steps down the dark hallway and toward the hum of voices and laughter.
She passed her Theia Joanne in the kitchen, flipping cookies onto a cooling sheet, and tried to join the conversation. But her mind kept drifting back to Liam and the hollow, echoing silence where his voice should have been. Even surrounded by all the noise and color, she felt his absence like a missing tooth, something you couldn’t stop probing with your tongue.
Putting on her brave face, she let Kiki fuss with her hair as Theia Selene argued with Theia Joanne over which had the better DJ at their wedding. She listened, she laughed, and she offered opinions when pressed, but in her head, she was replaying every minute of the past ten days, searching for the moment where she’d lost the plot, where she’d given Liam the power not just to break her heart, but to demolish it. Because that was the truth. She’d let him in. He’d gotten under her skin,into her bloodstream. And now she was stuck, waiting for a call that might never come.
Every logical part of her knew that Zee was right, that Liam was probably just busy having a crisis because his dad was in town, or adjusting to no longer working at Pine General, or he was bad at communicating, or his world did not revolve around her. But the part of her that mattered—the part that bled every time she let herself hope—had already started to grieve.
She wanted so badly to believe any one of those were true, but no matter what she tried, she just couldn’t shake the sick feeling in her stomach that something was wrong.Reallywrong, and Liam was gone. Not physically, she knew he’d be at the wedding. But emotionally…
He left before. He disappeared. What’s to say he wouldn’t do it again?
27
The single lanedrive to Mountain Ridge Outdoor Adventures was choked with rented SUVs and car service Lincolns filled with out-of-town guests. Liam knew that he was cutting it close showing up only fifteen minutes before ‘I do’ despite his role as a groomsman, but he wanted to make this day and the interactions he had as abbreviated as possible, so he’d spent it alone in his office downtown.
As he made a left into the gravel lot, he saw it was packed, each vehicle a little chromed shrine to someone’s idea of success. Liam eased his Range Rover into an improbable slot between a candy-apple-red Rubicon and a Mercedes G-Wagon. He let the engine idle an extra second, watching the sun bleed out behind the ridge line, and considered putting it in reverse, pulling, out and leaving. Honestly, if Poppy wasn’t beside him in the passenger seat, he might have done just that.
His baby sister let the silence edge up to uncomfortable, then sighed dramatically. “Sooooo, is the plan to just sit here until the engine runs out of gas?”
He killed the ignition and stared straight ahead. The main lodge loomed on a rise, strings of Edison bulbs blinking one byone along the veranda. The soothing, melodic sounds of Hilary Hahn playing the classicalBridgertonversion of Taylor Swift’s “Wildest Dreams” were coming through the speakers. His dad had operated on one of the world-renowned violinist’s relatives, and she’d told him if he ever needed anything to let her know, he’d called in his favor for this.
Liam watched the guests arriving. He knew every person walking up the path in the distance was more than likely someone he’d known since childhood. Every person who’d ever cared what he’d done or who he’d become was, at this moment, fifty yards away, drinking, judging, but pretending not to judge the fact that his dad was marrying the woman who’d worked for him and also cared for his mother when she was dying, which he still wasn’t sure he knew how he felt about.
