Page 33 of Stronger Than Fate
“Will we talk later?” I asked, not mentioning his last comment.
“Maybe, we’ll see if I’m not too busy with other matters,” he said, unable to hide the ironic tone in his voice.
He got up from his chair and went to the cabinet where he’d left his wallet and keys and picked them up. I watched him approach and felt sad that after such a wonderful night he was leaving this way, but I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong.
“Behave yourself,” he said, leaned down and gave me a soft kiss on the lips.
“You too.”
He turned and left.
Chapter 5
"The secret of happiness is not in doing what one likes, but in liking what one does"
—Leo Tolstoy
Lunch with my brothers was truly enjoyable; time with them was always quality time. Even though we saw each other daily at the hotel, our management responsibilities often didn’t allow us to sit down and talk about our personal lives, which is why whenever possible, we always tried to meet outside the hotel and dedicate time to discussing our private lives without even mentioning work. Life, responsibilities, and personal growth tend to create some distance between siblings, but we were clear that we would always try to stay connected. My brothers were a priority in my life, and I knew I was a priority in theirs.
During our conversation, I omitted any mention of Henry. We were just getting to know each other, and I wasn’t clear about where our relationship was heading or what label to give it, so it seemed most sensible not to say anything.
When I got back to the hotel, I really wanted to hear from him, but I didn’t want him to feel I was hounding him or invading his privacy. Was it right to think this way? I honestly didn’t know. He wasn’t like the other guys my age I had dated; he was several years older than me, and I didn’t want him to think I was an insecure girl calling to check up on him. It was the first time I had this internal conflict, and it bothered me not knowing how to resolve it.
After much deliberation, I decided to call Sol.
“Hello,” she answered curtly, after it rang several times.
“How are you?”
“I’m fine, you?”
“Sol, I want us to talk. I know something’s bothering you, and I don’t want us to drift apart. Can I come over to your place?”
“I’ll be home after seven.”
“Can I come by then?”
“Alright, I’ll be waiting,” she said, with a bit more kindness.
“I’ll be there then. Thank you.”
“Ok,” she said, and hung up.
The prospect of seeing her and clearing things up made me feel more at ease. I made myself a coffee and went out to the balcony to drink it in peace. I sat in one of the chairs and propped my legs up on another. I enjoyed looking at the city from above; it gave me peace. My thoughts immediately drifted to Henry. I didn’t want to think about him, but I always ended up doing so. I couldn’t deny that I liked him very much and that when I was with him, my heart beat faster than normal, but I was clear that he wasn’t a man with whom I could aspire to much more than what we had at the moment. He had made that clear to me. His words echoed in my head:“I’ve always been a very independent man. I love going about without having to answer to anyone.”I also didn’t know how long he would be content with being only with me; I sensed that time would be limited because it was clear he didn’t want attachments. I had to do everything possible not to fall in love with him and enjoy the present while keeping my feelings aside. I preferred not to test my courage by facing the challenges of that complex emotion.
Was that possible? Honestly, I had no idea.
A few minutes after six-thirty in the evening, I left for Sol’s place. I hadn’t heard from Henry, and I hadn’t contacted him either.
When I rang the doorbell of the apartment, Sol opened it immediately and looked at me seriously.
“Hi,” I said, rushing toward her and hugging her.
Sol returned the hug but quickly pulled away and looked at me.
“You did it,” she stated, pointing at me.
“I did, but I don’t think my face gives me away.”
