Page 62 of Stronger Than Fate
“I don't give a damn what she thinks! You tell her and that's the end of the discussion—it's either that or you don't go.”
“Enough, Henry. Don't give me orders or speak to me in that authoritarian tone,” I stated, still making an effort to keep speaking calmly.
“This is how I talk when my patience is exhausted.” He sighed. “It must be that I'm not used to dealing with women your age. With women my age, it's simpler because they don't behave like capricious, disobedient little girls.”
“What did you say?” I asked, both surprised and hurt. Hearing him say that had caused such a sharp pain in my chest that it took my breath away.
“I think I was clear.”
I tried not to look disappointed, though I don't think I succeeded.
“Don't treat me like a little girl or compare me to your lovers, damn it!” I exclaimed furiously, sending tranquility to hell. I got up from the couch, moving away from him. He had wounded my confidence and self-esteem.
He also stood up to come toward me, standing in front of me and looking at me very seriously.
“I'm well aware that you're not a little girl, you're a woman, but then act like one and don't disappoint me!”
“Disappoint you? Do you think I'm not up to the standard of the women you've dated? Or am I not up to the standard of the powerful Mr. Woollardy? I can't believe you said that,” I said, shaking my head.
“I didn't say…”
“Enough, Henry, I don't want to argue anymore or listen to the nonsense you're saying. It's better if you leave because you've already said enough, and I have work to finish. I appreciate youcoming to inform me about Sol, and I'm sorry you can't talk to me the way you do with women your age,” I said, unable to disguise the ironic tone in my voice, “but you don't have to worry because I know how to take care of myself.”
“Will you let me speak?!” he exclaimed, furious.
“No, I can’t. As I already told you, I need to finish reviewing some budgets and then I have an important meeting because, believe it or not, I’m an adult woman with responsibilities.”
“You’re right, I shouldn’t be wasting my time with you either. When you act like this is when you truly show that you’re a spoiled little girl, and I’m not here for childish whims. I have more important things to do. This makes no sense,” he said, serious and frustrated.
“What doesn’t make sense?” I asked, and the disappointment on my face couldn’t have gone unnoticed.
“Do I need to spell it out for you? Seriously?” he said sarcastically, turned around and left the office with energetic steps, closing the door with more force than necessary.
For a few minutes I stood there staring at the door through which he had left. I still couldn’t believe what he had said to me, that I was too spoiled, too young, and I don’t know what else too much. That I wasn’t up to the standard of his lovers and that, evidently, I complicated his life because I was like a disobedient child who constantly disappointed him.
I shook my head. I was furious and disillusioned—with Sol for not valuing our friendship, with Henry for not loving me and treating me the way he had, and with myself for allowing him to take over my heart without any discount and without even my permission.
Downcast, I went to sit in my chair to try to continue working, but I looked at the computer and couldn’t make sense of what I was reading. My mind was elsewhere.
Why did Henry Woollardy have to cross my path? Damn my fate!I thought.
I kept turning the matter over in my mind without being able to decide what was best for me: to have continued with my life without knowing love and suffering because of that, or loving with all my being without being loved in return and suffering because of that. Quite a dilemma for which I had no answer, I suppose nobody did.
Anguish began to take hold of me, but I refused to cry. I wasn’t going to cry because of them. My friend had hurt me deliberately, and Henry, with his harsh words, had done the same. It was clear that he didn’t love me and there was nothing I could do about it, just as I couldn’t do anything to stop loving him. Feelings escaped everyone’s control, without exception.
Chapter 9
“The wounds that cannot be seen are the deepest”
—William Shakespeare
Before leaving the office, I decided to call Sol because I wanted to talk to her as soon as possible. My friend didn’t answer, so I decided to do the only thing left for me to do, go to her apartment.
On the way there, I thought about how to confront her, but when I was a few blocks away, I realized it was better to act naturally and say everything that was stuck in my throat without holding anything back. I needed to express my feelings and vent. When I arrived, the doorman who already knew me approached to open the door.
“Good evening, Miss Dukart.”
“How are you, Luigi?” I greeted him.
