Page 115 of Until You Came Along
“That’s not true, I am distrustful, but I asked you for time.”
“And how much time do you need? I’m asking because while you decide whether I’m trustworthy or not, I’m the one paying the consequences of your distrust. Does that seem fair to you?”
“Delfina...”
“If you came to apologize, I partially accept. I can understand that everything they showed you and told you made you doubt, but I don’t accept your apology for not allowing me to defend myself. You didn’t find me in bed with a lover,” I stated, and Hermes looked at me and I could decipher a certain pain from my comment because, yes, I had said it alluding to his ex’s behavior, but I didn’t back down. “You had no proof of my supposed infidelity, it was just the word of a stranger and you decided to believe Malek Naik’s word.”
“It’s true, everything you’re saying is true, but you have to admit that everything was very strange, that anyone would have been suspicious.”
“Anyone would have suspected something was off, there’s no doubt about that, but I would have listened to you. You should always hear both sides, don’t you think? Especially the version from the person you claim to love. My word should have been the most important to you, but you refused to hear it because you had already sentenced me.”
“Delfina, I’m asking for forgiveness.”
“You already said that, Hermes. And you already know my answer.”
“I want to recover what we had, my heart is breaking, allow me to...”
“What we had?” I asked, interrupting him. “What we had led us to where we are right now. I don’t want what we had, I want more,” I stated firmly.
Hermes looked at me completely surprised by my declaration. I don’t know where I was finding the courage to tell him all this and not forget everything and throw myself into his arms. The courage probably came from the disappointment I felt at that moment. I loved him, yes; I loved him very much, but I wasn’t willing to pay for others’ mistakes and much less fix what others had destroyed. I didn’t have to live proving that I wasn’t the treacherous Valeria. I was Delfina Darner, and I abhorred that woman for what she had done to him, but unfortunately, it seemed that Hermes couldn’t forget her. I even began to question whether he might still be in love with that woman.
“What does that mean?” he asked.
“I want everything you refuse to give me,” I replied. It wasn’t necessary to go into details; he understood them all too well.
“I can promise to do everything in my power to change, but I can’t guarantee that I’ll succeed,” he responded anxiously.
“That’s not enough for me, I’m sorry.”
“Delfina, don’t leave me, I beg you,” he said, standing up and coming toward me.
“You were the one who left me!” I exclaimed, standing up and moving away from him. I didn’t want him to touch me. “You left me when I needed you most! If my brother hadn’t arrived in time, right now they would be marrying me off against my will to a stranger, but one who was a great business deal for my father. He was trading me like property, he had me locked inhis suite and cut off from communication, and when you arrived and could have taken my side and helped me, you turned your back on me and abandoned me. I asked you to help me, but you were so blinded that you didn’t even listen to me,” I whispered, and my voice began to break.
“Forgive me, forgive me, I beg you. Don’t leave me,” he repeated, with emotion reflected in his voice and eyes.
“But you abandoned me,” I stated. “I need time, I need some breathing room to process everything that happened,” I declared, collapsing onto the long couch and covering my face with both hands.
Hermes knelt beside me and embraced me, but I didn’t return his embrace. I remained there like a rag doll; I was too hurt.
“There are few phrases more terrifying than what you just said,” he exhaled. “I made a mistake, I was a wretch, a damn bastard, but don’t ask me to stay away from you.”
“How can you say that so casually when you were the one who walked away from me?”
“I beg you…”
“I want to think about how to move forward. Try to understand me, it’s not easy to process everything that happened. I need to be alone, to calm down so I can think clearly.”
“If time is what you need, take it, but don’t go away, stay by my side,” he expressed, taking my face in his hands.
“No; I won’t be here, I’m going to Miami with my brother. I’m not sure when I’ll be back, if I come back at all.”
“What?!” he asked, with horror etched on his face.
“I might stay with my brother, I haven’t decided yet.”
“Don’t do this to us,” he pleaded.
“I’m doing the same thing you did, separating us. The difference is that...”
