Page 104 of May I Have the Pleasure
“I regret to inform you that your husband is dead, Princess Elizabeth.”
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“Princess Elizabeth?”
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“Your Royal Highness?”
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“Yes, yes… I heard, your grace. I comprehend the essentials… husband… dead… on my wedding afternoon. I find myself unsurprised.”
“Do you wish to know the manner of his death?”
“Not particularly, but I suppose you feel it your duty to tell me, so let us get the miserable chore over with.”
“I am sorry to distress you, Princess.”
“You misunderstand, sir. You are not distressing me!I meant the miserable chore for you!I imagine you probably expect me to react in the accustomed manner—tears, anger, bitterness, possibly thrown objects… or perhaps laughing and singing… or maybe indifference… or a wild spending spree.”
“None of those would surprise me.”
“Indifference it is, then. I am not intimidated by death, Lord Chamberlain. Did you know that I was already thrice a widow, in only five years?”
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“I am… I… well… no, I did not.”
“It gets worse!”
“Worse!?”
“Yes, worse!You see, not one of my four husbands survived the wedding afternoon, so you can see why I am unable to work up the customary level of vexation.”
“Astounding!”
“Yes, quite!Interestingly enough, that is the exact word Captain Gwinnett used when my last husband, Lord Mawbry, died of a fever in the middle of the sea. Would it make you feel better if I wailed and gnashed my teeth a bit, or used this as a convenient excuse to smash some of the more hideous decorations in this parlour?”
“Would you be expressing joy, sorrow, or practicality? I must admit, the idea of smashing some of these trinkets has a certain appeal.”
“Ha-ha! I must say I like you, your grace. You remind me of Captain Gwinnett or my dearest friend, Mr Darcy, back in England.”
“I take that as a compliment, madam. There seems much to like in your Captain Gwinnett and your friend. I know the captain slightly, and Mr Darcy has a reputation as an admirable gentleman with an exceptionally fine estate.”
“Yes, I have to agree on both counts. I also believe Captain Gwinnett’s wife would agree with us. Lovely woman. I spent a few weeks in her company when we returned to England. Now I wish I had just stayed there.”
“Ahhhmmmm… … well, ah…”
“Come, your grace, let us get it over with and then perhaps a game of backgammon would be to your liking?”
“You enjoy the game?”
“Very much.”
“I must warn you; I yield to none in backgammon, regardless of rank.”
“I must similarly caution your grace that I will thrash you within an inch of your life, if you can stand the mortification. Actually, I will probably thrash you whether you can stand it or not… or perhaps chess is more to your taste?”
