Page 112 of May I Have the Pleasure
“I recently began a correspondence with Jane. We will never be what we were, but we will not be entirely estranged our whole lives. She apologised for those awful months and… well, I have done my best to forgive her… more or less. Someday, we may be able to meet again. The rest are… well… let us not speak of them. They still write, but my secretary has been reading all my post from Hertfordshire for years and telling me the essentials. I do not have the heart to read them directly.”
“Is that all? Only Jane? How did you pick her? You two were the closest sisters I ever saw in my life.”
“Yes, and that is why her betrayal hurt so much. Who cared if Lydia or mother treated me ill. It was indistinguishable from their normal behaviour, and them throwing me to the wolves was just the logical next step. Mary, with her moralising Fordyce nonsense, never for a single second of her life doubted that I should have just done my duty without complaint...... but Jane and Papa… Jane and Papa… Itrustedthem… Ilovedthem… Ineededthem, and when I most needed the love of my family, when I was most desperate, do you know who I had? Out of everyone I had ever known in my life, do you know who came to my defence?”
“Lizzy… Lizzy…”
“Only you Charlotte!Only you! Kitty was repentant within weeks, but none of the others gave the slightest sign of conscience until they had something to gain from it—afterthey learnt of my inheritance from gossip.Thatis exceedingly difficult if not impossible to forgive. Kitty was full young and not especially bright, but she made a real effort to change herself and you see the results. Jane was the next to show repentance, and in the end, I believe she truly felt dreadful about the episode—though much too late to do me any good should Mr Collins have survived. The rest are irredeemable. They only showed greed or indifference. Only you, Charlotte, of all the people I thought I knew and trusted, was steadfast start to finish.”
“Is that why you gave me Sweetwater?”
“Not really. I gave it to you for the exact reasons I said. It needed a master and mistress, and you were the only one I trusted who did not already have an estate.”
“You are saying you trusted Mr Darcy, even back then?”
“Of course! He has been the best man I know for quite some time. I thought you knew that.”
“I did! I just wanted you to say it.”
“It is stating the obvious.”
“I know, but I wish you to remember. Even in this snake pit you live in now, there must be good men… worthy men… trustworthy men, and you will always have us as your friends.”
“Perhaps there are some worthies here, and I appreciate the sentiment.”
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“Lizzy, you look stunning in your new gowns.”
“Yes, Charlotte, who would have thought that grey could see as bright as the orange Miss Bingley used to wear? All it takes is several years of unremitting black.”
“Since I enjoyed the pleasure of the last few weeks with the two most beautiful women in Sweden, I can say that I certainly have nothing to repine.”
“Still the charmer I see, Richard.”
“Not really. That was my military training. I speak as I find, and that was a careful and accurate survey of the landscape.”
“Thank you. Be a good boy and fetch my namesake. At least she will not fill my head with pretty words and flattery.”
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Stockholm—December 1817
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“Elizabeth, can you tell me about the Royal Family. Have you come to know a lot of people in the court? What are they like?”
“They are much like a normal family, Charlotte.”
“How so?”
“Quite a number are just like Lydia, my mother, or Miss Bingley—selfish, immature, unafraid, loud, vulgar—willing to do anything, or step over anyone to get what they want.”
“That seems unkind.”
“You sound like Jane once did. Do you want accurate assessments or kind ones?”
“Accurate. Pray, continue.”
