Page 49 of May I Have the Pleasure
“Thank you. This setting is tolerable.”
They sat for a few minutes as Elizabeth seemed to gather her thoughts while Darcy watched curiously.
Eventually, she shrugged and blurted out her question. “I apologise for disrupting your privacy, but I came here with a purpose in mind. Would you be willing to tell mecandidlyabout your aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh?”
“I beg your pardon!” he snapped in complete confusion, wondering what connection the lady could possibly have with his aunt.
“Perhaps I should explain,” she replied quietly, not entirely shocked by the gentleman’s reaction.
“Probably for the best.”
“Do you remember the parson who introduced himself at the ball—or more accurately, started babbling without benefit of introduction?”
“Yeeeesssss,” Darcy dragged out, not liking the direction of the discussion thus far.
“He is my cousin, Mr Collins, the heir presumptive to Longbourn. He is presently serving as rector in Hunsford, under the patronage of your aunt,” she said with a sigh.
Darcy frowned even more ferociously, while attempting to say something at least marginally gentlemanlike. “He seems… ah… well suited to an occupation involving… speaking.”
Elizabeth laughed nervously, but it only lasted a few seconds before changing into a frown. “He certainly enjoys the sound of his own voice.”
“If it helps, I will assert that most of my aunt’s rectors are of similar disposition. She prefers them that way.”
“We come to the crux of the matter. Your aunt seems… ah…fond of instruction… apparently on every conceivable subject, if Mr Collins can be believed.”
“Without descending into ungentlemanly gossip, I can tell you she does in fact, enjoy giving… ah… instructions… to anybody and everybody on every subject, whether she has useful knowledge or not,” he said with a grimace.
Elizabeth frowned at both the assertion and the grimace, but gamely ploughed on.
“Therein lies my conundrum, and the reason for my visit. I need to know if your aunt’s habit is… relentless. She obviously controls much of Mr Collins’s life, but would she continue to do so after he marries?”
Darcy’s eyes shot up in alarm, and he blurted out, “Why do you ask?” then belatedly added, “if I am not being indiscreet.”
Elizabeth sighed again, stared at her hands for some time, then shrugged inelegantly. “Because he asked for my hand, and I am giving the question serious consideration. Your aunt is the biggest stumbling block.”
Darcy let out a most ungentlemanly snort. “Mr Collins! Impossible!”
“No sir. I am deadly serious,” she said with a hard, exasperated stare.
He shook his head in confusion. “Is your cousin, in some way I could not observe, a better match than he appears? Unless I am very much mistaken, I would assert you did not enjoy his company the least little bit at the ball—quite the opposite, in fact, if your obvious attempts to avoid him were any indication.”
“No, he is as he presented,” she said with another sigh, “but beggars cannot be choosers. He is an eligible match, probably the most eligible, or perhaps only, offer I will ever receive.”
“I do not understand,” he said in exasperated confusion.
“Which aspect confuses you? Do you think me, or my family below Mr Collins?”
“Of course not! Quite the contrary.”
“You think meabove?”
“Like a hawk and a worm.”
She let out a long sigh. “That is a poetic sentiment, but it misses the point entirely. In your rarefied world of unlimited wealth, consequence, and maleness; you may pick and choose. I cannot! Longbourn is entailed on heirs male, and the Bennet daughters are not particularly marriageable. One of us must marry, and our choices are far more limited than you can imagine. Mr Collins has asked, he is eligible, and accepting him would protect my mother and sisters after my father’s inevitable demise.”
“He does not seem that eligible to me,” Darcy said, unaware he sounded even haughtier than usual.
“Why not? He has a good living and an acceptable home in a presumably decent parish. I assume your aunt is at least respectable. He does not seem vicious, intemperate, or a spendthrift. He will eventually inherit Longbourn, as will his eldest son. In what way is he ineligible?”
