Page 75 of May I Have the Pleasure
“Really dead?”
“Yes ma’am”
“Truly dead?”
“Yes ma’am”
“How dead?”
“I am only a coachman, madam, but I believeit is universally acknowledgedthat there is really only one kind of dead.”
“My pardon, Mr Thornton. You are indeed correct. To clarify, I meant something more like, ‘how long has he been dead?’”
“I know little of such things, madam. A few hours seems likely, but I could easily be wrong. Have you been asleep for some time?”
“Since just after the last stop to bait the horses. I suppose it does not really matter in the end, as he is just as dead either way. Is this the parsonage?”
“Yes ma’am”
“I know not what to do. Perhaps you could take me to Rosings. I imagine Lady Catherine de Bourgh will wish to know what has happened, since she apparently controls everything in this county. Mayhap she can advise me.”
“Are you certain you wish to travel with… well… with him… ah… that is… ah…”
“I understand your concern. How far is Rosings?”
“A half-mile. It will take a quarter-hour.”
“I do not mind, as I am not particularly missish. It seems unlikely he will become either more or less dead in that time, and to be frank, he was not all that lively to start with. I havealready shared a coach with… it… for several hours. Another quarter hour will do no harm.”
“Are you certain you would not like me to remove… ah… him?”
“Do not trouble yourself. It seems just as likely Lady Catherine would make you come right back for the body, and for all I know, she will want to inspect it.”
“As you say, Mrs Collins.”
“I do thank you for your solicitude, Mr Thornton. You are an excellent coachman.”
“I do not consider this my most successful trip. I usually deliver my charges alive.”
“Not your fault, sir… Not your fault. These things are bound to occur from time to time.”
“I imagine so. I thank you, for your forbearance. Shall we to Rosings?”
“Perhaps I could ride up with you? I have never done so, it seems diverting, and I have a convenient excuse.”
“I am at your disposal.”
“I thank you, Mr Thornton. Let us be off.”
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“Mrs Collins, my lady”
“MRS COLLINS?”
“Yes, my lady”
“JUSTMrs Collins.”
