Page 77 of May I Have the Pleasure
“I must say, I like you, impertinence and all.”
“I thank you. I like you as well. You are not at all what I expected from my late husband’s numerous descriptions—though I must confess that I would find any similarity between Mr Collins’s description of just about anything in the world and the actuality, to be almost entirely coincidental, so it is not that surprising.”
“Even more impertinence!I imagine you are wondering what to do next.”
“Yes, your ladyship. I assume you know how to deal with the mortal remains, but I have no idea what else to do. Might I stay in the parsonage for some time until you get a new parson, or perhaps you could guide me to some lodgings in the village? I do not have very much coin, but enough for a time. I will also beg your assistance in finding some sort of employment. I believe governess or companion are the traditional situations for those in my position.”
“You will do no such thing!You must stay here with us. Anne will find your acquaintance most stimulating, I believe.”
“Oh yes, Mrs Collins! You must stay here. My cousin Georgiana is the only other woman close to my age that I know well, but she is ten years my junior and only visits once or twice a year. Pray, remain with us, at least for a time. You will be in mourning for a year, so you should spend it as our guest. You will be most welcome.”
“I thank you. This honour is most unexpected. You are exceedingly generous.”
“Think nothing of it. I am the executor for your husband’s will, so I will need to keep you close to attend to the matter properly. It will take at least a month to sort it out. I am very attentive to my responsibilities. I shall send for my solicitor on the morrow and begin.”
“I thank you. It is far more than I have any right to expect. I am very much in your debt.”
“Might I make an observation, Mrs Collins?”
“Of course, Lady Catherine.”
“You do not seem overly distraught over the death of your husband.”
“May I speak frankly?”
“Of course. I am celebrated for my frankness, and I expect no less from members of my household. Pray continue.”
“My marriage was arranged over my vigorous objections. My mother pressed the suit ardently, and my father eventually overrode my sixth denial—most likely just to shut her up. Then my mother and three of my sisters relentlessly hounded me for a fortnight to get me to marry him. I finally acquiesced when my father threatened to throw me out to starve into the hedgerows without a farthing, and my formerly favourite eldest sister joined the maddening throng. It turned out they all preferred me as the sacrificial lamb to themselves—a sensible enough attitude, I suppose, but not one designed to promote sisterly affection.”
“My word!Why would they do such a thing?”
“Longbourn was entailed in favour of Mr Collins, as you probably know. Even my beloved Aunt and Uncle Gardiner encouraged me to accept my fate and find a way to learn to live with it once my father put his foot down, for the first time in his life. I could only wish he managed to acquire some semblance of a backbone either earlier or later. I am not of age for several months, so I had no legal remedies, no money, nowhere to go, and not much predilection for poverty. I eventually acquiesced, but by the time I got to the church I was looking at the hedgerows with envy. However, the die was cast, and it was too late to run away without ruining the already dismal prospects for my sisters, little though they deserve my consideration. I narrowly escaped with a scorched backside.”
“An interesting expression for a gently bred lady. Somewhat shocking I must say, though certainly colourful.”
“I am not the ordinary sort of female. My father educated me more like a son than a daughter. It is either to my credit or chagrin, but which remains to be seen. However, since I am now a widow for the foreseeable future, I imagine it is not of much import. I shall simply seek employment sooner rather than later and watch my tongue whilst at my duties.”
“May I assume you have no intentions of returning to your father’s house?”
“You assume correctly. I would willingly live in the hedgerows or become a governess or companion before that. I am quite finished with my family, and you seem like the type of lady who could assist me in finding a position, unless I am very much mistaken.”
“We can certainly find something better than that. Let us get through your mourning, and after that, your husband was not exactly penniless. You must be tired from the long journey. Anne will accompany you to your room, and I shall see you at breakfast.”
“I am in your debt, Lady Catherine!”
“Perhaps, but do not distress yourself. I shall collect in due course, but it shall not be too onerous. You owe me some amusement.”
“I shall happily pay my dues, your ladyship, but might I ask one more boon?”
“Of course.”
“Pray, do not call me Mrs Collins when we are in private. If you do not object to informality, I would desire that you call me by my given name most of the time. Elizabeth or Eliza will do nicely. I used to go by Lizzy to my family, but I do not wish to be reminded of them right at this moment.”
“How long willthis momentlast, Elizabeth.”
“I imagine somewhere between a year and until the end of time.”
“We shall happily comply, Eliza. I should beg you call me Anne.”
