Page 78 of May I Have the Pleasure
“I am not quite the stick in the mud people think I am, though Eliza might be a bit far for me. I shall call you Elizabeth.”
“Thank you, my lady. Shall we see my room now, Anne?”
“Follow me, Eliza!”
-------------
Rosings— March 1812
-------------
“Good morning, Lady Catherine. I trust you had a pleasant sleep. I must thank you for your hospitality once again. The last two months have been lovely. The remedies from the new physician my uncle recommended are wondrous. Anne nearly walked to the parsonage yesterday. She will be walking for miles in no time, and I heartily approve of your idea of giving her a season later in the year.”
“Good morning, Elizabeth. I very much approve of the new mourning clothes. They suit you.”
“Did you doubt yourself when you ordered them?”
“BITE YOUR TONGUE!”
“Haha—as expected! Thank you once again for the dresses. They are lovely.”
“Elizabeth, my solicitor has obtained the will and other documents from your late husband, and I have a surprise for you.”
“Do tell!”
“You are not quite as poor as a church mouse anymore. Much to my surprise, Mr Collins had some money laid by that he inherited from his father, and he just inherited from another obscure uncle. All of it will go to you as part of his will, which I naturally had written for him.”
“I am indebted to you for ensuring it was done properly. I shudder to think what would have happened should the late Mr Collins have been in the employ of someone less attentive to her duties—or, worse yet, took care of it himself. Pray tell, how many church mice am I worth these days?”
“Just over ten-thousand.”
~~~
“TEN-THOUSAND CHURCH MICE, you say!”
“Yes, my dear. Do not take this smirk for levity. I am simply enjoying the chance to be more impertinent than you for a change.”
“TEN-THOUSAND?”
“Yes, ten-thousand.”
“Just to be clear, in this particular conversation, you are equating achurch mousewithone English Pound Sterling.”
“Yes, my dear. You now have a fortune of ten-thousand pounds.”
“I am speechless.”
“I have been anxiously waiting months for that rare occasion.”
“I am all astonishment.”
“I imagine so. There is more!”
“MORE?”
“Yes, indeed!My solicitor has developed a rigorous scientific theory about your grandfather, which might explain much about your father’s behaviour. Would you like to hear it?”
“I am all ears.”
