Page 32 of May I Have the Pleasure
It is curious the things I recall out of the blue. Charlotte once overheard Mr Darcy say,‘A lady’s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment.’He may have been correct in your cases. You both appear to have been in Mrs Bennet’s company far too long.
Jane, I know how you like to think the very best of anyone and everyone, which is very much to your credit. The fact that you can still do so after exposure to Mr Bingley and Colonel Fitzwilliam demonstrates the full depth of your goodness. However, despite your predilection to think the best of people, I am afraid I only give you leave to think of Mr Darcy as a more pleasant man than I gave him credit for; or perhaps, if you push your luck, you may think he does not dislike me as much as I believed in the spring (or possibly he does not particularly dislike me at all).
Something just occurred to me! I had forgotten the name of Jane’s colonel from Rosings, so I went back to the old lettersto reacquaint myself with the man. It appears heisthe son of the Earl of Matlock, so my infamous pianoforte escapade was in his parents’ house, and he was the man the housekeeper told me remained unmarried. Of course, with his manners at Rosings, his single state is not much of a mystery anymore. I would be doubly mortified about the Matlock incident all over again but considering his shameless boasting when you were in Kent, I imagine I may consider it just recompense.
Therefore, your suppositions are entirely idle and unwarranted, and I am surprised you can even suggest it after our history. It is true that Mr Darcy now appears to be as Jane and I described Mr Bingley that first night after the assembly. We never disputed that he was handsome and rich. He now appears to have acquired a bit of amiability, so he is in fact all a young man ought to be—at least, when he is in his own county, among his own associates. However, you know as well as I do that even should my inclinations run that way—which they most definitelydo not—such a man is not for the likes of us. I find it comforting to fully comprehend his motivations, so without any fear of attachment, I will simply enjoy his company when I encounter him, much like any other indifferent acquaintance., and ignore all the nagging confusion he engenders.
About our mother, I have come to a decision. I find myself reaching my age of majority, and eagerly entering the world of adults, so perhaps it is time I grew up. I have reluctantly thought to spend a week in Longbourn on my way back to Cheapside to try my very best to repair my relationship with her. I sent her a note proposing the scheme and await her reply. I know not whether I will be successful, but the attempt seems to be a childhood task I have left undone too long.Wish me luck.
Now that I have sufficiently quelled your impertinence regarding Mr Darcy, I will relay the news of the day, but I forewarn you both not to waste valuable postage on more unwarranted suppositions.
Mr Darcy was in Lambton today and asked cordially if I would allow him to show me a few favourite paths, and I surprisingly agreed. We did in fact have a very pleasant walk of some duration, and I must say I took some pleasure in his company for the very first time.
During the walk, I believe I may have discovered the true reason for his unexpected predilection for appearing in Lambton every day. It appears that Mr Bingley broughthis sistersfor a visit to Pemberley, and given that fact, Mr Darcy’s daily absence makes perfect sense. If I resided at Pemberley with the superior sisters (you may both quit laughing now), I should leave every morning before dawn and return after supper.
I find myself reasonably content with his company. He is the best-read man of my acquaintance. I suspect he may even give Papa some competition, and he has the advantage in appearing outside his study with some regularity. He attends operas and plays in town frequently, so we have many things we can converse on. He does not seem to mind conversing on subjects that are usually the province of gentlemen, and he seems to despise the conversation ladies are encouraged to pursue. Aunt Gardiner tells me her acquaintances generally hold him in high regard, so perhaps there is more to him than I have given him credit for.
When we returned to the inn, he quite surprised me by inviting Uncle Gardener to fish with him in his trout stream. You can well know the outcome of that discussion, so against all odds, Uncle is apparently to visit Pemberley.
Mr Darcy also oddly enough asked permission to call on me in the morning, which I assume he finds more practical than waiting idly at the smithy just to avoid his more insufferable guests. I surprisingly enough find I am not as averse to the idea as I would expect.
Jane, I hope you do not feel I am acting disloyal after his showing in Hertfordshire, but I find myself curious to learnwhat he is all about. You need not fear an attachment, but I would at least like to make myself no longer be afraid of him.
Your more or less brave sister,
Elizabeth
Introductions
25 July 1812
Lambton, Derbyshire
Dearest Sisters,
Another day… another shock. Who would have thought, based on Mr Darcy’s behaviour in Hertfordshire, that he hails from a madhouse county? He appeared at the inn this morning, but surprisingly, he brought his sister to be introduced to our entire party.
At first, I was astonished, but I now must make a confession. I am perhaps just a bit prejudiced against the gentleman (or a lot); mayhap from that first slight at the assembly these many months past, exacerbated by my presumed reasons for his dragging the Netherfield party away, and then cast in stone by Colonel Fitzwilliam’s revelations in Hunsford.
I assumed he would not wish an association with someone in trade, or more specifically, someone related to our mother; but in retrospect, it is obvious Mr Bingley is from trade, and he is, as the colonel asserted in Rosings, a great friend of Mr Darcy. He even seems to be good enough for Miss Darcy, so I therefore must conclude that I do not know the man at all. What else might I be wrong about?
Miss Darcy is as shy as I previously detailed, but with an effort I managed to engage her in a discussion of music, and she turned out to be a lovely woman after I got her talking. I obviously did not want to mention the debacle at Matlock buttold her that both her brother and some other acquaintances had praised her talent, and I would like to hear her play one day. It was a bit forward, but I would so much like to hear her again that I am willing to skirt propriety or suffer embarrassment for the privilege.
She is apparently a vengeful girl, as she then proceeded to shock me into speechlessness, by asserting that her brother claimed a strong enjoyment ofmyplaying. Me! Elizabeth Bennet! I was speechless.
Mr Darcy was obviously just being polite, since I could not even play in the same county as Miss Darcy, but I must confess the praise did warm my heart. While I am confessing my sins, I must own that I gave both brother and sister quite a bright smile in return; although I was then quick to correct Miss Darcy about my actual skill, lest she harbour fanciful expectations.
Our visit was pleasant, and I surprisingly find myself enjoying company with both Darcys. I do not even mind her attachment to Mr Bingley, as I have long believed you deserve better than a man who would quit the county without so much as a by your leave, regardless of what his sister or friends think. Perhaps Mr Darcy did Jane a service? There is a wholly unexpected thought!
The end of the visit brought one more surprise. Miss Darcy, looking for all the world like she was doing something difficult under the watchful eye of her brother, invited us to dine at Pemberley.
I was astonished, but the look on her brother’s face gave credit to the idea that he put her up to it. While I know of few things in life that I anticipate with less pleasure than sharing a few hours with the Bingley sisters, I find myself quite looking forward to it. After all the descriptions of Pemberley we have heard, I would very much like to satisfy my curiosity. The library alone should be worth a few hours with the pernicious sisters, and truth be told both sisters areso dense there is a certain amount of amusement at their expense in saying things they cannot comprehend.
So, we are to Pemberley after all. Uncle is to gird his loins for battle with Mr Darcy’s trout stream, which he asserts is quite overrun so it may not be that much of a battle. Aunt and I are to spend the morning with the ladies and then join the gentlemen for luncheon.
Mr Darcy has a bit of the look of mischief about him, and I should not be surprised if he failed to mention the engagement to the Bingleys. Perhaps Miss Bingley will find our sudden presence so shocking that she will do something completely unexpected, such as be polite!Enough of my flights of fancy!It is one thing to dine at Pemberley, but the latter suggestion is obviously too farfetched for serious consideration.
Sisters, I must let you in on a shocking secret. I find I am looking forward to the excursion. There, I have said it in writing and may not retract it. Despise me if you will.
