Page 39 of May I Have the Pleasure
Such was my level of confusion that it took me a full five minutes or more to comprehend the only possible explanation. I am certain you will have worked it out by now, but I could not think properly. By the time I realised the only possible explanation, I ran out of the church as if chased by wolves, trying to shout my profound thanks, but I was too late. The gentleman, and I am now heartily ashamed I refused to use that appellation a mere few weeks ago, was in his carriage and leaving. My thanks were shouted to the wind, and I am certain he did not hear me.
My only hope now, and it is a forlorn one, is that one day I may encounter him in the blacksmith shop when I go toLambton for Mr Ellery and may give him my thanks, before he has time to run away. I am determined that shall happen, for as I am quite certain you are now aware; the only possible explanation for his actions in the church is thathe paid for everything. Had Uncle Gardiner done so, as I had always assumed, then he would have had to sign, but Mr Darcy was the only gentleman to leave the church with ink on his fingers.
When I returned, I braced Uncle about it. Clever man had to tell me that in fact, Mr Darcy had done much more than I surmised. Not only did he buy the commission and pay Wickham’s debts, but he also found the couple, tried to talk Lydia into leaving Wickham, offered to find her a worthier husband, and finally made all the arrangements to save the Bennet sisters when she would not be moved. Why he should do so is quite beyond me, but he seems to have felt honour bound.
The only possible explanation I can come up with is that he must have known Wickham’s propensities last winter but chose not to warn our family, and his honour demanded that he offer the protection now that he omitted back then. Nothing else makes the slightest sense to me, and even that one stretches credulity to the limit. Uncle said he had agreed with Mr Darcy to never tell me what he had done, which was why Uncle, clever man that he was, found a way for me to work it out on my own without telling me.
So, dear sisters, I must say that I am heartily ashamed of most of the things I said about him. He was arrogant and rude in Hertfordshire, and he either saved Jane from an indifferent suitor or destroyed her happiness with his interference; but I believe more reflection will produce a more charitable explanation for that event as well. I also surmised from what Uncle told me about the date he first met with the gentleman, he must have left Pemberley within hours of my leaving Miss Darcy and rode straight to London to start his search.
All I can say is that this day’s actions have shown him to be a true gentleman, and quite possibly the best man I haveever known. I only hope for a chance to thank him one day, because he has truly saved all my sisters.
Your chagrined sister,
Lizzy
Reflections
15 October 1812
Gracechurch Street
Dearest Jane and Mary,
I must say I enjoy our habit of combined letters that we have established since my journey to the wilds of Derbyshire, as it makes me feel almost as if the three of us are stuffed together in bed chattering away under the covers like we did when we were little girls. The last month or more since Lydia’s wedding have rushed by like a thunderstorm.
Uncle Gardiner and Mr Ellery have been loading me with work practically from dawn to dusk, and I must confess it is the most exciting time of my life. I find that being useful sits well, and I can hardly bear the thought of idleness. In fact, as you well know, pride is my worst character defect, and even though the last year has ground it down practically to nothing, it is now on the mend.
Uncle Gardiner and Mr Ellery are both very happy with my work, and Mr Ellery has even increased my wage. In another bow towards good sense and away from convention, he says he pays for value delivered instead of effort expended or gender. I seem to have a knack for pulling information out of ledgers, manifests, and other business documents that are not obvious to a casual observer, and the business I assist them with is doing very well. I can proudly say I have prevented more than one error that would have been costly if not detected.
In fact, Mr Ellery has even had me act as his agent a few times, and I show some talent in the craft. I believe the gentlemen are doing an experiment to see whether having a woman perform the negotiations makes the results worse because men will not deal with me, or better because they underestimate me. To date, the latter seems to be the primary case, so I am gadding about all over London with a footman for protection.
The footman that usually accompanies me, Mr Samson, is as big and burly as a maple tree, has a frightening looking scar from his right eye running down his cheek that he acquired fighting on the continent, and wears a most disagreeable expression. He is in fact, quite the most frightening looking man I have ever seen; except when his eyes are directed toward his intended. Then he looks like a week-old piglet. They are to wed in a fortnight’s time, and I have the privilege of standing up with his betrothed; mostly because I introduced them (not matchmaking—an introduction does not a match make).
My only pretension to the dark arts I will admit to is that I have, from time to time, asserted on some of my journeys about town that I require a maid, for unspoken and vague female reasons. That is not matchmaking… just thoroughly enjoying the look of two young people in love. Betsy works in Uncle’s household and Mr Samson in Mr Ellery’s, but I am quite certain a change in employment for one or the other will happen after their wedding, as I have seen the two gentlemen looking at them carefully and subtly making plans (as subtle as a bull charging).
I am extremely distressed that Mrs Bennet has forbidden permission for either of you to visit me in town yet again, and as usual disappointed in Mr Bennet’s inability to exert himself to overrule her. Absent doing something so egregious she drives you out of the house like she did me, I can see no recourse. However, I do have a suggestion. I am to travel with Mr Ellery and his wife in a few weeks’ time and will be goneat least a month. Perhaps one or both of you can get the hateful woman to allow you to visit the Gardiners in my absence if you tell her you plan to take Mr Bennet’s hunting rifle and try to bag a husband. I am distressed that I will not be able to see you, but I would so much like to have you out of that poisonous household, at least for a time.
In fact, I have already taken steps to get my employers’ assistance in setting up my own establishment, so I do not plan to return to Gracechurch Street after my next trip. That will allow me to see you, so long as you can stand the small subterfuge of reporting back to Mrs Bennet that I no longer reside at Gracechurch Street. It is not as if you must report the entire population of London.
I believe it is time to put all the hurts of the past year behind us, and being out of Hertfordshire should help, and of course there is nothing in the world better than the soothing balm of our aunt’s presence. She is the only reason I am still sane. You need not even worry about expense. I saved most of my pin money and would not be surprised to see Uncle supplement yours for the visit. Aunt Gardiner is quite frustrated with my lack of interest in the modiste, so I suspect you may be the victims of her desire to dress at least one elder niece well.
As I am certain you must be thinking, today is one year to the day since that fateful assembly in Meryton, when we met the two gentlemen that were to have such a profound effect on us. Jane, I take you at your word that you are well over Mr Bingley’s abrupt departure, and as you know, everything about Mr Darcy is vexingly confusing, but you will notice that I have reapplied the termgentlemento them, as I believe it can fit for at least one of them.
Mr Darcy’s presence at Lydia’s wedding has forced me to reexamine everything I think I know about him, and I believe that there are better explanations available which I shall relatelater; but for the moment, the clock just struck midnight, and I shall be up at dawn, so I must close.
Your provisionally enlightened sister,
Lizzy
Mary
5 November 1812
Gracechurch Street
Dearest Mary,
Mary, you little minx! I must say that I am prodigiously proud of you, and so very happy that you have made a love match. The fact that you managed to meet a man, court him, and receive his address without Mrs Bennet even being aware of it is an accomplishment I shall brag to my grandchildren about, and you must also tell Jane I am ever so proud of her part as well. I am so happy, and I will not be satisfied until I drag every single detail of the courtship out of your lips, with tongs, if necessary, although I will obviously have to wait until you leave that household first.
