Page 46 of May I Have the Pleasure
“The only answer available today isno!If you are satisfied with that, I can call the man back and be done with it. If you want me to give serious consideration toyes, you will wait three days, just like Mr Collins. He has accepted those conditions, and you will as well.”
Mrs Bennet puffed her chest up to retort forcefully, but the matron found the words did not come out properly when she was facing empty air as her daughter slipped by, ran into the corridor, and closed the door in her face.
Mrs Bennet yanked the door open and hurried out into the hall, only to encounter the parson.
“Never you mind, Mr Collins. She is only nervous, as are most young women. She will know her mind soon enough.”
The gentleman puffed out his chest and stood up straighter (somewhat).
“My dear Mrs Bennet. Have no concerns. As I explained to Cousin Elizabeth,It does not appear to me that my hand is unworthy of her acceptance, or that the establishment I can offer would be any other than highly desirable. My situation in life, my connections with the family of de Bourgh, and my relationship to your own, are circumstances highly in my favour; and in spite of your daughter’s manifold attractions, it is by no means certain that another offer of marriage may ever be made.I have no concerns. She has asked for time to come to terms with her good fortune, and dare I say, see the manifold benefits of the match. I have not the slightest doubt I shall lead her to the altar soon.”
Mrs Bennet, while perfectly capable of reassuring Mr Collins multiple times, was not sanguine herself. She never understood her second daughter, but recognised Lizzy was the second or third stubbornest person of her acquaintance.She would never be truly satisfied until the vows were said and the register signed.
The matron decided to move things along.
Confronting
Abandoning Mr Collins, Mrs Bennet hurried up the stairs to her husband’s library and entered without knocking.
Shecalled out as she entered the library, “Oh! Mr Bennet, you are wanted immediately; we are all in an uproar. You must come and make Lizzy marry Mr Collins.”
Mr Bennet looked at his wife and replied laconically. “If you paid more attention, you would see your second eldest daughter right there beside my desk, and you interrupted her just as she was about to tell me what all the fuss and bother is about.”
A startled glance passed between Mrs Bennet and Elizabeth, who was in fact sitting at the desk looking extremely peeved.
Elizabeth started to speak twice or thrice; each time being interrupted by some flavour of the same complaints her mother had already made several times. To add insult to injury, Mr Collins joined the fray a few minutes later.
Elizabeth observed in horror as her father watched the pair enter a silliness contest which could go either way. This went on for several minutes as she tried without success to goad her father out of his indolence with her eyes.
When Bennet graduated from smirking to laughing outright, Elizabeth lost all semblance of patience and shouted,“ENOUGH!”and punctuated it with a loud slap to the desk.
Dead silence reigned for perhaps half a minute before Elizabeth saw the telltale signs of the pair restarting their argument, while her father looked on, doing nothing—absolutely nothing.
With a sigh, she snapped, “Mama! Mr Collins! I require a conference with my father… if he can be bothered to leave off his indolence for a few minutes. I ask you kindly to continue your argument elsewhere. Anywhere out of my hearing will suffice!”
Mr Collins said, “My dear cousin… you are uniformly charming—” and probably would have continued for some time if Elizabeth had not interrupted him somewhat peevishly.
“MR COLLINS!”
She stood up abruptly, pointed emphatically at the door, and snapped, “Either accept my previous answer or go somewhere else! You as well, Mother!”
Mrs Bennet stood up with a resolute sniff and one last wave of her handkerchief. “Well… I never!” she huffed angrily.
Seeing the look of implacable resentment building in her most misunderstood daughter, Mrs Bennet took the gentleman in hand. “Come along, Mr Collins. Let Lizzy talk to her father. You know how young ladies need their fathers’ advice from time to time until it comes time to seek it from their husbands.”
With much shuffling and far more words of farewell than were required (or desired), the pair finally left, while Elizabeth did her best not to snort.
Mr Bennet watched them go and gave another small laugh.
Elizabeth snapped. “Do not give me that smirk. You have been married a quarter-century with nary a finger lifted to support your daughters. I require your assistance…NOW!”
All traces of mirth gone, Mr Bennet replied haughtily, “And I require the respect due me.”
Just as angry, Elizabeth snapped right back, “I AM giving you the respectyou have earned.You watched Mr Collins sniffing around my skirts for weeks and didnothingunless it contributed to your amusement—exactly as you didnothingto make your daughters marriageable, andnothingto protect us after your demise. Now it falls tometo make up foryourdeficiencies. The least you can do is not make sport of the positionyou put me in.As things stand, evenJanecannot bring a man to the point, so it falls tometo dischargeyourresponsibilities. The least you can do is show me the respect Ideserve for seriously considering paying for your indolence with the rest of my life.”
She finished with another thump, breathing hard and leaning across the desk supported by her knuckles while glaring daggers at her father.
He stopped sniggering and looked at her pensively. “Are youseriouslyconsidering marrying that fool?”
