Page 7 of May I Have the Pleasure
“Now let us get down to it. My aunt would expect you to bring home a gentlewoman, especially since she will eventually be mistress of Longbourn, and she should be versed in the management of an estate. Is this in accordance with your understanding?”
Mr Collins once again launched into a litany of Lady Catherine’s instructions, which Mr Darcy bore with patience for as long as he could, and then he somehow got him wound down.
Mr Darcy then caught me by surprise by pulling me a bit closer with his right arm. I was surprised to see my hand still attached to his elbow, and even more surprised to find that I did not really mind. I might extract a penance for his impertinence later, but for the moment I was content.
He then looked right at me and unleashed that deadly smile. “Miss Elizabeth, may I presume you know all the gentlewomen of marriageable age in the neighbourhood?”
I managed to refrain from rolling my eyes—barely.
“Of course. Shall I enumerate them?”
“If you do not mind.”
I was wondering if there was a point to this exercise but decided to go along.
“Well, there are the Bennets as you know. Then there are the Lucases, the Gouldings, the Longs, the Harrises and the Thompsons. Most of the other four and twenty families have no daughters, or they are too old, too young, or too married. All told, over a dozen ladies.”
Mr Darcy just nodded as if we were working on a business problem together. I cringed a little bit, realising that there were very few eligible men in the region, and there were over a dozen competing for any that did show up. Things were not looking promising for my marriage prospects. I was not desperate enough to consider Mr Collins, of course, butsomeone would.
Mr Darcy rubbed his chin in thought, which frankly looked adorable. He used the arm that I had my hand attached to, which gave me the perfect excuse to release it. I found myself surprised to discern that was his intent—to give me a casual way to release his arm—but he also did it gently enough that there was no awkwardness should I wish to retain it. I surprised myself by leaving my hand exactly where it was as he continued.
“That is a lot of ladies to consider, given the time you have away from your parish. Since I know my own aunt well, let us see if we can narrow the field a bit, shall we?”
Mr Collins was quite incapable of failing to agree with any plan of Mr Darcy’s, so he nodded vigorously.
Somewhat slyly, Mr Darcy asked, “I am new to the neighbourhood myself. Would you be willing to treat Miss Elizabeth as an expert on the local gentry? I believe her knowledge to be infinitely superior to ours—not that ours is anything to boast of.”
The last was said with a self-deprecating chuckle, and surprisingly, Mr Collins chuckled along with him. I would never have thought the parson capable of understanding even rudimentary humour, so maybe he was not entirely irredeemable.
Mr Darcy then became very businesslike. “First off, we should eliminate all those ladies that are too young for marriage. I believe my aunt would find anyone under eighteen years of age to be too young and silly. Would you not agree Mr Collins… Miss Elizabeth?”
Mr Collins spent a minute or so agreeing, and I agreed through the simple expedient of answering the implied question.
“I quite agree. That eliminates my two youngest sisters, Kitty and Lydia. It also eliminates Maria Lucas, Annabelle Long, Janet Goulding and Amy Long.”
Mr Darcy nodded sagely. “That leaves the three eldest Bennets, Miss Charlotte Lucas and…?”
“Miss Bethany Harris and Miss Annabelle Thompson.”
Mr Darcy nodded again. “Thank you. This is quite helpful. Do you not agree Mr Collins?”
Mr Collins definitely agreed, so Mr Darcy casually continued but shocked me with his next.
“The eldest Miss Bennet is obviously being courted, so we can eliminate her.”
I agreed enthusiastically while trying to restrain myself from shouting in joy.
Mr Darcy just grinned at me and continued relentlessly.
“My aunt will want someone well versed in both religious matters and in practical concerns around the house, as the parsonage will not have a large contingent of servants. Does that eliminate anyone?”
Mr Collins looked very much like he wanted to say he had already made his choice, but every time he tried to wind himself up to say it, Mr Darcy just carried on relentlessly. I thought his plan sound so answered his question.
“If I answer that question, it must be in the strictest confidence. It could well be considered disrespectful.”
I stared hard at my cousin and continued, “I already have Mr Darcy’s confidence. I will have your word as a futuregentleman, that this is between us. You will repeat it to no one,not even Lady Catherine!”
Mr Collins looked at me curiously, as if I were wholly different from what he had in mind. I was not sure if he liked what he saw or not, but eventually he gave me his word.
