Page 81 of May I Have the Pleasure
“Very well, Anne. I look forward to making the colonel’s acquaintance, and I will tolerate Mr Darcy.”
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Rosings—Easter 1812
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“I do not see what right Mr Darcy had to decide on the propriety of his friend’s inclination, or why, upon his own judgment alone, he was to determine and direct in what manner his friend was to be happy. But, as we know none of the particulars, it is not fair to condemn him. It is not to be supposed that there was much affection in the case.”
“That is not an unnatural surmise, but it is a lessening of the honour of my cousin’s triumph very sadly.”
“I am curious, colonel. Perhaps you can elaborate on whospecificallythe triumph was over? Was it a triumph over an ‘unacceptable lady’, despite a complete lack of any relevant knowledge of who or what the lady was? Do you assume any lady your cousin disapproves of is unacceptable by definition? Or perhaps it was a triumph over an inconstant and indecisive puppy who can have his affections pushed around like a feather in the wind?”
“That sounds a little more like condemnation than you previously asserted, Mrs Collins. I imagine the former is the only thing that could be considered a triumph—and then, only if he was correct about the lady. Darcy’s understanding of women may be imperfect, so perhaps I should rephrase that statement.”
“And why should you make an incorrect assertion just to be polite, when you have one that perfectly matches your feelings, sir? Nay, I would prefer your honest condemnation ofthe womanto prevarication. As for Mr Darcy’s sensibilities, I shall not comment.”
“I sense we are perhaps straying from comfortable topics of conversation.”
“Yes, we left the realm of propriety some time ago, and I desire that we return. The whole thing is of no importance any more anyway. It confirms my opinion of your cousin, and that was useful, but I would leave the subject now.”
“Shall we head back to Rosings?”
“With pleasure, colonel”
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Rosings—January 1813
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“From the very beginning—from the first moment, I may almost say—of my acquaintance with you, your manners, impressing mewith the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, were such as to form the groundwork of disapprobation on which succeeding events have built so immovable a dislike; and I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry.”
“You have said quite enough, madam. I perfectly comprehend your feelings, and have now only to be ashamed of what my own have been. Forgive me for having taken up so much of your time…”
“Not so hasty, if you please. I have by no means done.I have listened to you, and now you shall listen to me. You owe me that courtesy if nothing else, Mr Darcy.”
“I would by no means suspend any pleasure of yours.”
“It is not from pleasure I wish to speak, nor from pride nor malice, but the need to defend my own self-respect. I have already had one husband who wished to keep me under his thumb, and I have no wish for another. Do you realise your proposal had very much in common with my previous one from Mr Collins?”
“No madam, I did not. It seems my crimes are even greater than I feared, and I heartily apologise for any offences I may have committed. Now I shall take my leave?”
“NO SIR, YOU SHALL NOT! A weak apology is far worse than no apology at all. May I continue?”
“Of course, madam”
“Mr Darcy—I fully realise that I have an ignorant mother, a maliciously indolent father, and four silly sisters. Quite frankly, I do not particularly blame you for avoiding the Bennets. Colonel Fitzwilliam informed me thatyou did everything in your power to separate your friend Mr Bingley from my sister Jane, and that you no doubt rejoice in your success. I only wish you had been as kind towards yourself as you were to him.”
“Perhaps—”
“Let me finish,if you please! I may once have been nobody and nothing, but even so, I wouldnever againmarry without respect and affection. Once was one too many, I assure you.”
“That was not—”
“Perhaps not your intention, but it was what you proposed and what you no doubt think. You believe your wealth and position in life should give you leave to ignore your character, but I am unimpressed with both. I should also like to point out that unless your aunt broke my confidence, which seemshighlyunlikely, you will be unaware that today I am a respectable widow with a fortune of ten-thousand pounds and heir to an estate of two-thousand pounds per annum. In Lady Catherine and those she has introduced me to this past year, I have a few minor connexions to the first circles of society including your own cousin and uncle.”
“I assure you I never—”
