Page 11 of The Cheapside Runners
“Accomplishments.”
She shrugged a bit. “I have no horse in that race, as I dispute the premise,” then she raised her bet.
Much to everyone’s surprise, Hurst weighed in. “Does that mean you have no opinion, or you possess a different idea ofwhat is required to be accomplished?”
Everyone stared at him in shock, and Darcy wondered if the discussion were finally interesting enough to bring the indolent man to life, his barging in was a way to distract the others so he could fleece them with the cards, or perhaps Hurst just enjoyed goading Miss Elizabeth to further annoy his sister-in-law. The last theory had much to recommend it, and Darcy thought Hurst would happily pay more than five Guinea’s to vex Caroline.
“I do,” Miss Elizabeth said, apparently in the mood to make them drag it out of her as play continued, though nobody was paying very rapt attention to the cards.
“Care to elaborate?” Hurst replied.
“I doubt anybody would find it interesting.”
“I most certainly would!” Bingley replied emphatically as he made his own play.
Elizabeth looked around the table and sighed in apparent resignation, seeming for all the world to think it the dullest subject imaginable.
“Those things you mention are little more thanhusband hunting bait. For the most part, they are worthless once you snare the poor man. For myself, I have always thought it smarter to worry about the last fifty.”
All play stopped for a minute, but Miss Elizabeth moved it along by making another play and then goading Miss Bingley to make her own rather poor play when she paused.
Bingley finally asked, “The last fifty?”
“Yes—the last fifty. Miss Bingley’s list of accomplishments is useful in certain times and places, such as a London ballroom, for a season or two—perhaps three if a lady is particularly unattractive or unlucky,” she said, with a glance at Caroline who was on at least her fourth season. “If such anaccomplished ladymanages to catch the gentleman, then she spends the next fifty years being the mistress of an estate. I simply prefer toworry about those fifty years more than the few brief seasons of courtship, which are ephemeral in the grand scheme of things.”
Darcy rather expected howls of outrage, but instead they had dead silence. Naturally, he was not about to break it, but Miss Elizabeth helpfully said, “Your turn, Mr Bingley.”
As if Hurst’s intervention were not unusual enough, his wife entered the fray with a question that was uncharacteristically devoid of anything her own sister might think. “Might you elaborate?”
Elizabeth looked around the table, sighed, and finally said, “If I must.”
“We should appreciate it,” Bingley encouraged.
She threw down another good hand and collected another pot, then continued.
“I could walk upstairs right now, awaken my sister from her sickbed, and say, `Jane, we will have a dozen people for dinner tomorrow. What do we do.’ Off the top of her head, she would know what we have in the pantry, what we can get from the home farm, the shops, and neighbouring estates. Naturally, she would consider the season, our budget, and the status of the entire house. Within the hour, she would have orders for all that needs to be done. The second hour, she would have learnt about the new guests, worked out a seating arrangement, and found out if guest rooms needed to be aired, which guests should be close or separated, and so forth. She would do this without a second thought.”
She stopped to see if anyone wanted to contradict her, but then since nobody had anything to say, she goaded Mr Hurst into taking his turn. She had been distracting the table with her talk while simultaneously goading the continuation of play all along.
“When they arrived, she would arrange the table such that everyone was as comfortable as they could be. She wouldactively encourage conversation during the meal, so everyone gets a chance to speak. It is harder than it sounds, as every table has a few people who never say a word without being forced, and a few others who never shut up about their own narrow concerns.”
Darcy thought she showed remarkable restraint by not looking at himself and Miss Bingley with that statement.
“That is just one skill of dozens, but it is an example of why I find your list of accomplishments suspect. I could also list such things as how to hire, fire, and discipline servants. How and when to visit tenants and ensure their wellbeing. What to do when a tenant’s baby is born, someone dies, sickness strikes, and all the other difficulties of life. Then, of course there are remedies, how to treat the sick, cleaning schedules, and so forth… not to mention the hundreds of topics related to child rearing.”
She paused momentarily to examine her cards and make her play before continuing.
“Naturally, there are also the basics for the mistress ofanyhouse—city or country, gentry or trade. Theirfirstresponsibility is ensuring that all guests are safe and comfortable, that nobody speaks disparagingly about anyone else, nobody feels unwelcome… everyone is addressed correctly… you know,the fundamentals!”
That time shedidstare hard at Miss Bingley, and it became obvious she was not only aware of the less than subtle hints the woman made in her presence, but probably what was said behind her back. Darcy knew many of the servants were local, and reporting what was said to the other locals in the house would not be at all unusual.
Caroline was turning beet red, and may well have said something untoward, but Hurst broke in. “Your turn, Caroline. Perhaps you can play while you think on your response.”
That lady turned a gimlet eye on her brother-in-law but at least played her hand, though not all that carefully.
Darcy decided to get into the conversation to see if Miss Elizabeth would respond directly. “I applaud your reasoning, Miss Elizabeth, and have only to be chagrined by mine. It is a well thought out argument that I will give some considerable thought to.”
Having thrown the gauntlet to the point where she could not quite continue ignoring him, he made his play with slightly less care than was probably wise.
