Page 23 of The Cheapside Runners
“Go ahead. Get it over with,” the matron said with ill-disguised impatience.
“Let us just suppose you convince me to accept Mr Collins, or more likely force me against my will.What in the world makes you think I would allow you to live with me after that?”
She gave her mother a hard stare that she knew was extraordinarily intimidating, that she rarely used with anyone she knew, and saw her gulp in consternation.
“You would not!”
“I would! You would be gone from this house with naught but the clothes on your back before I left Hunsford, and you would never cross the threshold again.”
Mrs Bennet gaped like a fish for a moment, and Elizabeth decided she had won her point well enough. Moving the man’s attentions to Mary was not her problem, since she was not the one silly enough to point him at Elizabeth in the first place.
“Mark my words, madam! Move his attentions to Mary, or I will dissuade him myself. I will not marry him—not now, not ever,” she said just as she exited the parlour.
Elizabeth considered the problem of Mr Collins solved and did not particularly care if she had simply traded Mary for herself in the fire. She felt slightly guilty about not asking Mary how she felt about the clergyman, but once again, that was Mary’s problem to solve. She was eighteen years old, perfectly old enough to think for herself, and she could decline the odious man as well as Elizabeth could. Besides that, if he did move his attention to Mary, Elizabeth knew perfectly well she would have plenty of time to coach her sister about how to handle theproblem.
~~~~~
With the issue of the odious cousin more or less solved, it seemed time to move on to others.
The day after her conversation with Mrs Bennet, Mr Bennet encouraged all the daughters to take Mr Collins and go somewhere else. He had about had his fill of the clergyman and just wanted some peace and quiet.
Mr Collins made it obvious that Mrs Bennet had not spoken with him, so Elizabeth sighed and decided to put up with his attentions for two more days. If that did not work, she thought she could talk to her father, but she had no more expectation of success with that endeavour than she expected Mr Darcy to succeed with the earl.
When they reached Meryton, she became rather alarmed by how much her sisters’ behaviour had deteriorated.
Elizabeth had been in London for more than six months the previous summer and returned to find Lydia out at barely fifteen. Her sister was not the least bit ready to be in society. In Elizabeth’s opinion, she was not even ready to be out of the nursery. That said, her parents never paid much attention to outside opinions, and she had quit trying to give hers some time earlier.
Lydia’s behaviour, and Kitty’s by extension because she copied Lydia, was in a word abhorrent. It was generally terrible at home, but Elizabeth was well able to ignore that, a skill that came in useful with the Miss Bingleys of the world. She had only been to the one assembly with Lydia, and while she had been a bit wild, it had at least been somewhere near the bounds of propriety—if she squinted enough.
The advent of the militia had removed all restraint. Over the course of a week, her two sisters descended into a level ofsilliness that was sufficient even for her father.
Elizabeth became quite alarmed by their flirting, which was blatant and ongoing. Both girls (she could not think of them as ladies) were showing a level of décolletage that would be barely acceptable in a London ballroom in the evening, where such excesses were ordinary, but even Miss Bingley would not stoop to such a display in a day-dress.
The men reacted as men would be expected to. It was easy for Elizabeth to pick out the troublemakers among the officers, but it was not much of a challenge, since anyone who even spoke to a fifteen-year-old was suspect by definition.
Between the annoyance of her sisters, and that of Mr Collins, she was about ready to tear her hair out by the time they met Mr Bingley walking his horse into town.
Elizabeth was about an inch from forcefully warning Captain Denny away from Lydia because it was obvious he was a rakehell and make no mistake about it. She tried patiently explaining that to Lydia and Kitty, but once again, she was beating her head against a wall worse than Mr Darcy with the earl.
Mr Bingley greeted the group amiably and Jane warmly, which Elizabeth took to be a modestly good sign. She still had qualms about the man’s resolution based on his history with angels and his poor handling of his sisters—but she was willing to extend him the benefit of the doubt. He was not bad enough to warn Jane off, but not good enough to recommend him either. It was not as if it were her decision anyway. Jane would just have to muddle through on her own.
He mentioned he was just on his way to Longbourn to check on Jane’s health. The fact that she was obviously well enough to walk a mile to Meryton was not sufficient comfort for him, so he offered to walk them home.
During the walk, he managed to quietly tell Elizabeth that Mr Darcy departed with the viscount in tow a few hours after she leftwith Jane, but he expected to return for the ball, which he was apparently ready to schedule.
Why Mr Bingley thought Elizabeth cared in the least whether Mr Darcy would return or not was a mystery, but she supposed it was better to know than not. On occasion, though, she experienced some slight curiosity about Mr Darcy. He had handled her rather blatant snubbing of his person relatively well. He had overcome his natural tendency to support men in general and his relatives in particular with far less intransigence than she expected. Aside from his first slight, which happened sight unseen, he had been entirely polite. She supposed he might be worth speaking to. He had even said he liked her quite a lot, which she took to mean he liked any lady who did not chase after him with a pitchfork, but even such weak sauce was… interesting. She supposed Mr Bingley might have the right of it. She was mildly curious to see what the Derbyshire gentleman had to say for himself.
The next several days went by with visits from the officers, visits to Meryton to hunt for the officers, endless talk of officers, and even dinner with the officers.
Elizabeth could readily tell that some in the militia were no doubt honourable men who just liked to eat better at the Bennet table than the officers’ mess, as the difference in both quality and quantity was substantial. Those men put up with the flirting of the younger Bennet sisters as the price of the meal. Elizabeth thought they were getting the poor end of the bargain, but since she had never dined in the officer’s mess, she could not be certain.
She could equally determine that some of the men, and Captain Denny in particular, were flirting with a specific goal in mind. While her parents kept Kitty and Lydia entirely ignorant, which was stupid but typical of English society, Elizabeth was not. She recognised them for what they were and made herbest effort to warn Lydia and Kitty whilst remaining justbarelywithin the bounds her father had set.
Her results were not auspicious, and she was still engaged in that fool’s errand right up to the day of the Netherfield ball.
10.Dancing Slippers
Elizabeth entered the ballroom with some trepidation, but happy that she had sent to London for two of her uncle’s men to keep an eye on her youngest sisters. Her instructions were simple. They were to prevent utter disaster, but otherwise let things play out as they would. Her objective was to ensure her sisters at least did not ruin the family with scandal, but she had no plans whatsoever to attempt to moderate their behaviour beyond that.
