Page 61 of The Cheapside Runners
The musicians started warming up, and Mrs Black continued what she had begun so many days earlier watching soldiers on the street.
“These are the cream of London society, but in essence they are little different from you. They have the money and status to think very well of themselves, but on average, they are no cleverer, or kinder, or more intelligent than you are. They are mostly better educated, but that is because they are wealthy, not because they are inherently superior.”
She omitted the fact that one of the students was vastly wealthy, and that her history suggested she was very-well educated, but still no more sensible than Lydia. She hoped the poor girl had turned the corner though. Miss Darcy’s experience in Ramsgate had put her in a mental box of her own making, and as far as Mrs Black was concerned, nothing beat being thrown around like a rag doll by an ogre to shake someone out of their doldrums.
“Here you will see the same thing you will see at any marriage mart—and there is very little point in pretending this is anything other than a market. Most of the unwed people here want to find a partner to spend their lives with. They all have some idea in their heads of what they want that partner to be. Some prefer pretty over clever, or the converse. Some need money, some are so rich they do not care, and some are so rich they needeven moremoney because anything less would be an insult to their pride.”
They all nodded, though most of their attention was on the attendees.
Mrs Black said, “Here is another little rule of thumb for you.The typical man is quite average.”
“Is that not a tautology?” Miss Red asked (naturally).
“What does that mean?” Miss Green asked, showing perhaps the first spark of curiosity Mary could remember.
“Circular reasoning. You say the same thing twice in different words. It is a logical fallacy, though sometimes useful for making a point or making something easy to remember, which is I presume, Mrs Black’s purpose.”
“Very good, Miss Red, and good for you in expanding your curiosity, Miss Green. You should remember that you were almost certainly born just as clever as any of your sisters, and if you are less educated than they are, it is something you can correct.”
Lydia was less impressed by that statement but at least nodded in acknowledgment.
“What I mean, is that if you take any group of men, perhaps a tenth of them are the best of men, and a tenth are the worst. The bottom tenth can ruin your life in minutes, which is why we have been studying them so intently this fortnight. The best of men are rare by definition and probably out of reach or actually undesirable for most of us.”
She glanced to ensure everyone’s rapt attention.
“Most of you will need to marry to live well, and most of you probablywantto. There is nothing wrong with that. Since most of us are fairly average, we will find our husbands among the average. Some will be bold, some shy, some will be leaders, some followers. Tonight, I will try to teach you some of the subtle ways you can guess about a man’s character based on his deportment and demeanour, but I caution you not to read too much into it. For example, I know one of you has a guardian who gives offense as a first impression, but I suspect he is more shy than arrogant and is probably a good enough man underneath. Do not let yourfirst impressions lead you astray. While you will end up with an average sort of man, it is better to have one on the high side of average than low.”
They all gave that advice some thought for a minute, and Mrs Black added, “Just to be certain, while rough manners do not mark someone as bad, neither do happy manners mark a man as good. The worst snakes practice amiability, manners, and flirtation to a fine degree. They use them as bait, so be careful you do not fall into their trap. Often, the most amiable seeming men are among the worst, but do not tar genuinely amiable men with the same brush.”
“How do we avoid it?” Miss Blue asked, and Elizabeth suspected she was remembering saying,"He is just what a young man ought to be—sensible, good-humoured, lively; and I never saw such happy manners! So much ease, with such perfect good breeding!"
Elizabeth did not really have an opinion on Mr Bingley, and would not for another week or two, but she was happy to see her elder sister at least trying to escape their mother’s shadow and circumstances.
“Time and observation. You can learn a lot about a man with how he acts over time. Pay more attention to how he treats others than how he treats you. A man who is cruel to servants or animals cannot be a good man. I would also be sceptical about anyone who allows bad things to happen around him that he could dissuade. Talk to him.”
“That seems sensible,” Jane said pensively, belatedly realising that Mr Bingley utterly failed that last test.
“In the end,” Mrs Black sighed resignedly, “you may need to fall back on another rule:Maybe means no. For myself, I would rather pass up the chance for a good man to avoid a bad one. There is always another good man in your future if you look hardenough, but once you are trapped with a bad one, it is all over. I know that sounds pessimistic and cynical, so take it with a grain of salt.”
The ladies were slightly downcast by that, so Mrs Black brightened and said, “Good lord, is that woman colourblind?”
~~~~~
The next hour went by pleasantly with Mrs Black pointing out ladies and gentlemen, describing how she interpreted their actions, and suggesting things she might do if she met them. She pointed out just how difficult it was for a shy man to ask a lady he was interested in to dance, then suggested several specific ways a woman might detect his interest if she were paying attention and subtly encourage him without being a flirt.
Conversely, she gave a few tricks for evading dancing with men they wanted to avoid without having to sit out the rest of the evening. There were a number of excuses one should keep handy, but she said that, in the end, if atrulydisagreeable man asked, and they even suspected ill intent, to just stand firm and refuse. Better to miss a night of dancing than to encourage a rake.
Mrs Black’s ogres rather uncharacteristically brought in some tea and sat with the ladies for a half-hour making entirely pleasant and witty conversation. One was an expert on Shakespeare and challenged Mary’s understanding to the limit, while the other loved horses and spoke animatedly with half the ladies the whole time.It was obviously another lesson.
~~~~~
After tea, they resumed their observations at the railing, and Mrs Black was considering taking Jane and Mary down for the space of a dance, when she suddenly stood up straight and demonstrated the breadth of her language.
“Blood and thunder, what the infernal blazes is that blightedscoundrel doing here?” she snapped in the first sign of clear agitation, or in fact, anything short of complete serenity, that any of the ladies had ever seen. Even had her tone not been alarming, nobody had ever heard a lady say so many curse words in a row before.
She stared a moment, and finally said, “Zounds… He is planning to compromise her!”
With that, she turned and moved across to the door with astonishing speed, even for her, speaking over her shoulder. “You are in charge, Miss Blue. Do not leave this balcony for anything short of a fire.”
