Page 18 of The Cheapside Runners
“How about your chances?” he asked softly.
“The viscount would find me a hard nut to crack.I am not my sister!”
Both men startled, and wondered what she meant, so Bingley asked, “Are you quite certain?”
“About his past behaviour—absolutely. About his potential behaviour here and now… tonight? Who can say? I cannot predict his actions, but I can calculate the odds and take steps to prevent the potential outcomes from affecting me and mine. If nothing else, last night should at least demonstrate that I understand probability, and men are far simpler than cards.”
Darcy took his life in his own hands. “Is there anything you can suggest Bingley or I should do? Something more proactivethan waiting until tomorrow and tossing him out based on gossip.”
She frowned over his choice of words but had to admit that from his point of view, gossip was indeed her source.
“In science, you cannot prove a negative thesis. If you see one black swan, you can conclude black swans are possible. However, before you have seen one, you cannot know definitively if they are impossible, or you have just not seen one.”
“Agreed,” Darcy said.
She sighed resignedly. “Are you certain you want my suggestion? It cannot be unsaid.”
“I do.”
“If you want to improve your chance of finding a black swan, use black swan bait.”
“Meaning?”
“When the viscount returns, talk up my beauty, such as it is, and then mention that Jane is about five times prettier. That is just a statement of fact, so I doubt you will have any qualms about the assertion. Then lament the fact that we have little or no connexions or dowry, imply we have a weak protector, and gripe forlornly about the fact we will leave in the morning. Take him back to the ladies and allow Miss Bingley to assassinate our characters for an hour. Then sleep in my bed, with the connecting door to Jane’s room open.”
Darcy and Bingley stared at her in stupefaction. The plan was devious and unlikely to succeed, unless the viscount was lost to all sense of honour, propriety, and self-preservation.
She continued. “I cannot guaranteea black swan. In fact, I would not even give it even odds, but if you find yourself having a conversation with your cousin in the middle of the night, you will know certain things beyond the slightest doubt. If you do not, ask your man of business to investigate him. His proclivities are not exactly a state secret, and the investigation will not eventake a week.”
Bingley asked, “What about Caroline?”
“What about her?”
“Is she safe?”
“Pray, do your own thinking, Mr Bingley,” she said in mild exasperation. “You could move her and occupy her bed, but then she would know and that would be… less than ideal. She does not seem a woman who can keep a secret, particularly if she thinks she can use it to her advantage. If you worry, station a reliable footman down the hall to watch her door, but I would not recommend informing her. To be honest, I doubt she would care all that much if he did compromise her, as she likely feels between you and Mr Darcy you could force his hand. I have a feeling she would cut off her own arm for a title if it came right down to it.”
Both men were shocked at her forthright and even somewhat vulgar assertions and were full of questions, but they heard Hurst and the viscount returning, so Elizabeth quickly curtseyed and hurried out the door.
~~~~~
Darcy and Bingley waited in the front hall at seven for the ladies. Both ladies curtseyed. Miss Bennet seemed shocked, and Miss Elizabeth looked resigned at the good-sized plaster on the side of Darcy’s head.
Elizabeth raised an eyebrow questioningly, but did not bother asking directly.
“Miss Bennet… Miss Elizabeth… well met,” Bingley replied with less than his usual enthusiasm, though it was anybody’s guess whether that was caused by the disagreeableness of having his angel leave early, having an unrepentant rake in his house, or something as simple as having to get up at the crack of dawn when he preferred the crack of noon.
Darcy greeted them quietly. “Miss Elizabeth… a word, if youwould be so kind?”
They stepped away a few paces, allowing Bingley and Jane to have a quiet conversation that Elizabeth was happy to miss.
“I owe you a great debt, madam.”
“Has it anything to do with that plaster?”
He sighed dejectedly. “That plaster is the cost of my education, I suppose. I did as you suggested. My cousin may not bequiteso charming any more with a broken nose and missing tooth. I will be taking him to town this morning and intend to have a long discussion with his father about his habits. Something must be done.”
Elizabeth sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, then finally pointed to a spot on the opposite wall.
