Page 1 of Eavesdroppers Never Hear
1.Overhearing
When dinner was over, she returned directly to Jane, and Miss Bingley began abusing her as soon as she was out of the room. Her manners were pronounced to be very bad indeed, a mixture of pride and impertinence; she had no conversation, no style, no beauty. Mrs Hurst thought the same, and added:
“She has nothing, in short, to recommend her, but being an excellent walker. I shall never forget her appearance this morning. She really looked almost wild.”
“She did, indeed, Louisa. I could hardly keep my countenance. Very nonsensical to come at all! Why must she be scampering about the country, because her sister had a cold? Her hair, so untidy, so blowsy!”
“Yes, and her petticoat; I hope you saw her petticoat, six inches deep in mud, I am absolutely certain; and the gown which had been let down to hide it not doing its office.”
“Your picture may be very exact, Louisa,” said Bingley; “but this was all lost upon me. I thought Miss Elizabeth Bennet looked remarkably well when she came into the room this morning. Her dirty petticoat quite escaped my notice.”
“You observed it, Mr Darcy, I am sure,” said Miss Bingley; “and I am inclined to think that you would not wish to see your sister make such an exhibition.”
“Certainly not.”
“To walk three miles, or four miles, or five miles, or whatever it is, above her ankles in dirt, and alone, quite alone! What could she mean by it? It seems to me to show an abominable sort of conceited independence, a most country-town indifference to decorum.”
“It shows an affection for her sister that is very pleasing,” said Bingley.
“I am afraid, Mr Darcy,” observed Miss Bingley in a half whisper, “that this adventure has rather affected your admiration of her fine eyes.”
“Not at all,” he replied; “they were brightened by the exercise.” A short pause followed this speech, and Mrs Hurst began again:
“I have an excessive regard for Miss Jane Bennet, she is really a very sweet girl, and I wish with all my heart she were well settled. But with such a father and mother, and such low connexions, I am afraid there is no chance of it.”
“I think I have heard you say that their uncle is an attorney in Meryton.”
“Yes; and they have another, who lives somewhere near Cheapside.”
“That is capital,” added her sister, and they both laughed heartily.
“If they had uncles enough to fill all Cheapside,” cried Bingley, “it would not make them one jot less agreeable.”
“But it must very materially lessen their chance of marrying men of any consideration in the world,” replied Darcy.
To this speech Bingley made no answer; but his sisters gave it their hearty assent, and indulged their mirth for some time at the expense of their dear friend’s vulgar relations.
P&P Chapter 8 — (moved a few hours earlier)
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Wed 13 November 1811
Elizabeth Bennet paled at the pure unadulterated nastiness of the speech she overheard in the parlour of Netherfield Park. Upon returning downstairs after visiting her sister Jane, who was ill at Netherfield (after her idiot mother made her ride there on horseback in the rain), the lady overheard the conversation while looking for her accidentally left behind reticule. Shedid not quite gasp in shock, but she was somewhat alarmed, nonetheless. While she would reluctantly admit that her mother made the same sorts of comments routinely, to hear such things spoken aloud of guests, who were acquaintances of a mere month, seemed beyond the pale.
Fearing discovery, she looked down the hallway to see a footman watching placidly. He was clearly out of hearing range, so she made a shushing motion to her lips to beg for silence. After receiving an answering nod from the young man, she retreated to her sister’s room.
Upon entry to Jane’s bedchamber, she tried her best to remain calm and collected, and she might have pulled it off with anyone else. Unfortunately, her sister was her closest confidant and even with her frightful (though not particularly threatening) cold, Jane could easily detect when her sister was prevaricating. Elizabeth had never been able to lie to her sister, and Jane had never even made the attempt because it was not her nature.
Jane leaned up from her pillow and croaked, “Lizzy… I am too tired to drag it out of you, so just tell me what has given you a case of the blue devils.”
Elizabeth belatedly understood she should have spent a quarter-hour venting her frustration before returning, but realised the die was cast and there was little point in recriminations. Jane was relentless once she got the bit in her teeth.
“You would not believe what I just overheard.”
“You know what they say?Eavesdroppers never hear any good of themselves.”
“Yes, though I am not certain I was eavesdropping, per se. I suppose I could have made a great deal of fuss and bother as I approached the parlour, but I cannot imagine I will come out the loser in a manners contest.”
