Page 20 of The Gossip War
"I publish the banns of marriage between Fitzwilliam Darcy of Kympton parish in Derbyshire and Elizabeth Bennet of this parish. This is the first time of asking. If any of you know cause or just impediment why these two persons should not be joined together in holy matrimony, ye are to declare it."
I wanted to jump up and dance a jig at the reading of the banns, but I simply smiled briefly at my intended, then we watched the Bingleys to see if they would be disagreeable.
I sat in the Netherfield pew to keep the element of surprise, as directed by my soon to be mother-in-law. I would sit with Elizabeth for later readings, but I wanted to get the first one out there publicly before they could say anything.
We agreed that if they publicly objected, it would be open warfare and we would release the dogs of war (or Janes of war, I suppose).
Jane did not admit it, but she was as hurt far worse by Bingley than Elizabeth had been by me; with the obvious exception that no pretty apology would save his worthless hide. I was still uncertain how I escaped the trap of my own making, but since I was in a church, I thought a bit of gratitude would not go amiss.
The Bingleys looked poleaxed, but they also realised they had been outplayed and should keep their powder dry. I was under no illusion they were finished, but I tentatively believed we had won the first battle.
I should sheepishly admit to some enjoyment when Miss Lydia and Miss Kitty looked as poleaxed as Bingley, and even more amusement when they started to say something embarrassing but were dissuaded by their mother pinching hard enough to make them squeak.
When services ended, I joined Elizabeth and her family and watched the masters at work.
Mrs Bennet said surprisingly few words to the two youngest which made them follow like the two meekest lambs in the world.
Miss Mary was looking forlorn and confused, but Jane took her under her wing and explained the position succinctly. I imagined both elder sisters would be in my house within the quarter, and I looked forward to it. I suspected I would be more enthusiastic than Elizabeth by that time, but needs must.
It was fascinating to see Mrs Bennet start her campaign. I previously thought her a shrill, not very clever, gossiping busybody and cannot say whether that had been accurate or pique. She got right to work spreading the story we agreed on, which hewed close to the truth… aside from some obvious omissions regarding timing and transportation.
Mrs Hill, whom I would come to highly esteem in later years, did the same with servants, while the owners of the lending library did the same with the tradesmen. There was little doubt our version of events would be in London before the next day.
We spent a half-hour in that manner while the Bingleys looked increasingly uncomfortable. I had my own carriage, so I pulled Bingley aside before he left.
“Remember we have an appointment in the library at one o’clock.”
“You sound henpecked already,” he said unwisely. “Will you follow all your—”
I interrupted abruptly. “Beverycareful with your next words. My tolerance for disparagement of the love of my life has limits.”
He snorted, “Love of your life—” and may well have continued had I not given him the glare I reserved for the likes of George Wickham.
I suppose the vein pulsing on my forehead and my balled fists may have helped convince him to keep a civil tongue in his head.
Netherfield Study, 11 AM, Mr Bennet
We gathered like two armies on opposite sides of a battlefield (as my clever wife predicted).
The pernicious Bingley family sat on one side of a table with our army on the other.
In our earlier discussion, we decided I would join the fray with Lizzy, Darcy, and Jane at my side. My wife gave considerable thought to attending, but eventually decided it was tactically better for her to be absent, though it nearly killed her to miss the fun. She wanted the Bingleys to think she was out wielding her axe already.
Darcy and I also discussed who would primarily speak. Contrary to most evidence, I can be stern and cantankerous when I want to, I just rarely do. He reluctantly agreed I had a better chance of making our case without strangling any of our opponents.
I made my opening gambit with the hardest voice I could muster.
“Mr Bingley… Miss Bingley… I am far more familiar with so-called good society than you imagine. I have not used my connexions to date—but rest assured they exist. I am most seriously displeased!”
It was obviously shading the truth a little, since all my connexions to the first circles were in the room two feet from me, but they could not know that.
Miss Bingley looked like she was stupid enough to say something, so I continued without pause.
“To have some common trollop try to compromise my son-in-law is beyond the pale.”
Bingley had all the sense of a goose. “I object to your description of my honourable sister who was fooled by a rake,and I seriously doubt he was your potential son-in-law at the time.”
So, the knives were out! So be it.
