Page 11 of Till Death Us Do Part
“Imagine it, Jane! Just try to imagine a marriage contractsobad that it makesour fathershout for a half-hour. So bad themost indolent father in England feels the need to bestir himself to yell for a half-hour, but notquitebad enough to make my situation any better.”
Jane, feeling that her sister was taking on a much holier attitude than the situation called for, lost her temper for the first time anyone could remember. “You think you are so clever, Lizzy. Had Mama not intervened, Mr Collins would have addressed you the morning after the ball. I heard Papa planned to approve the suit, whether you agreed or not. If you think exchanging Mr Darcy for Mr Collins is a bad trade, I have no idea how to reach you.”
Feeling exhausted by the entire ordeal, Elizabeth turned towards her door. Just before she entered, she spoke without turning around.
“We are done with this conversation, Jane.Never bring it up again!”
After resting for an hour, Elizabeth finally got anxious, jumped from her bed, and truly thought about what she was doing, and what her options were, if any. She thought hard enough that she would not have been surprised to smell smoke. She did not want to allow anger to drive every single action, though reining it in long enough to think rationally was a monumental task.
When her father went out to visit a tenant farm for a few hours, she even went through his books to see if they could offer any bits of wisdom.
All the sermons were worse than worthless, since they essentially took the concept ‘submit to the nearest authoritative male’ and reworded it a hundred times, without ever examining the underlying foundation to see that it was rotten to the core. Fordyce was the worst, but the rest were not enough better to make any difference. All thought of women as accessories to thebusiness of men, and any of them would have told her to just shut up and listen to her elders.
Philosophy tracts seemed too abstract, too unrelated to the problem at hand, and often nonsensical. Still, she persevered, and it was late in the afternoon when she finally found the answer in the most unexpected place.
Elizabeth absolutely considered a forced marriage an evil of the darkest kind, and it suddenly occurred to her that it was almost as much of an evil for Mr Darcy as for her. In some ways it was almost worse for him, because he was trading what would no doubt have been a beautiful, well dowered, highly accomplished wife, for a hoyden of considerable book knowledge but weak accomplishments, wild manners, and not a single connexion, who liked to walk alone. He could have introduced an heiress or even daughter of a peer into the first circles to universal acclaim, but instead he would have to spend the first few years either defending his bad choice or avoiding society entirely. His freedom to choose was curtailed, and his share of the world’s consequence adversely impacted by the marriage. His children would lose stature based on what happened at Netherfield—presuming, of course, they could even get along well enough tohavechildren, which was not guaranteed.
On the other hand,hehad complete control overherfuture, so, the woman’s position in the affair was far-far worse. If Mr Darcy found his future wife undesirable or hard to live with, he could put her aside, take a mistress, have an affair, treat her badly, and the world would not bat an eye. If, on the other hand,shefound her future husband undesirable, she had to smile, make the best of it, and try to protect any children they might have.
The marriage would be an evil—more so for her than him—but bad enough even for the groom. She firmly established thatthe best she could hope for if the marriage happened was an awkward détente lasting the rest of her life, which would be good for neither party. Yes, it might turn out that he was a good man, she had just caught him on a bad month, and he would revert to form. That was something she could hope for if the unfortunate event came to fruition, but those were awfully weak legs to prop up her hopes and dreams. Her parents’ marriage being the best she could hope for was a sad situation indeed.
It was when she started thinking of the marriage like a disease, that she finally found the words that gave her either wisdom and guidance, or a selfish rationalisation for her actions.
She did not want to think about that too much, but the right words came from Hippocrates, who had been dead for well over two-thousand years:As to diseases, make a habit of two things—to help, or at least, to do no harm.
She could not make things right for herself, Mr Darcy, or her family. The situation had gone too far, so some sacrifice was necessary. The only question was who would do the sacrifice, and how big it would be. The situation as it was, had all the burden on her and Mr Darcy (mostly her), while her family paid no price whatsoever, and in fact, would no doubt profit from the arrangement. She and Mr Darcy wouldsuffer harmso that the rest of her family wouldnot suffer inconvenience and embarrassment.To follow Hippocrates, she could arrange her affairs so that she didless total harm.For certain, it would materially hurt most of the associated parties, such as her sisters, but the overall harm would be reduced, and she would not have to shoulder all of it herself.
Elizabeth wondered if she was being stubborn, stupid, selfish, or sensible, but in the end, settled for steadfast. With her ideas firmly in mind, she set about completing several preparations she had been making for weeks.
6.Flight of the Bumblebee
Midnight seemed the right time to begin, and Elizabeth prepared for the next phase of her life without fuss or noise. Based on her father’s almanac, the full moon had been on the thirtieth of November, the previous Saturday, so it was still just over a half-moon, but it would be completely useless in a few days. Besides that, there really was nothing more to do and no reason to procrastinate. She had researched all the schedules a week before when the idea first occurred.
Elizabeth removed a loose board under her bed and removed all her spare money, an amount of about twenty-five pounds she had been saving for five years. She had a single valise with her most practical dresses, smallclothes, and all her jewellery. She had to travel light so spent several hours packing to ensure she took only the most essential items.
A book in her father’s study, written during Roman times, said people walk at about three miles per hour, almost regardless of conditions. Her own experience backed that up. Her walk to Netherfield to tend to Jane, which seemed like a hundred years earlier but was actually three weeks, covered three miles. She made it, even with the mud of the fields in an hour and a quarter. She felt like she could walk like that all night but planning for that would be ill advised. She would need to rest, warm up, or hide in the woods if she met anybody else, so she allowed half of that speed.
The half-moon was bright and the weather clear, so she had to thank goodness for small favours. The road to Hatfield was seven miles long, well-travelled, and in good condition, but still had the occasional rut or pothole. Stepping into a puddle of water would not only be uncomfortable, but could risk her health, so Elizabeth had to watch where she went very carefully.
About an hour or so after she left Longbourn, when she was getting beyond the Meryton environs, the lady found herself being chased by a dog outside a farmstead. She was not usually afraid of dogs, but that one sounded bad tempered, and nobody with any sense tangled with an angry canine. She hiked up her skirt and ran like the wind for a few hundred yards, then fortunately found the animal lost interest when she left his domain.
Around two hours after she left, when she was well past any habitations save a few farmhouses, she heard a couple of men returning from some drunken revelry. They made plenty of noise as they traversed the road, so she had time to hide in a field. In the end, while she found drunken men much more frightening than vicious dogs, the pair were hardly able to walk, let alone accost her. They did however cost her an anxious half-hour waiting for them to get on with it. The only saving grace was that one stepped in a puddle of water and let out an amazing series of curses. The language burned her ears, but it did point out the location of a hazard so she could avoid it entirely.
Tired but excited, Elizabeth made it to Hatfield two hours before the coach was to leave. She gave about even odds that someone would be there by noon and discover her purchase of a ticket, so she bought a ticket to London, and would exit after a few miles to change direction.
Ticket in hand, she attached herself to a matron who looked like she would box the ears of anyone silly enough to give her any grief. Elizabeth wanted to learn to be that way herself and thought she should learn the skill sooner than later—though to be honest, she would need to gain a few stone to pull it off.
She carried a kitchen knife for some modicum of protection, but she had no idea how to use it. She suspected she was more likely to cut herself or anger her assailant than do any good, but it was at leastsomething.
Elizabeth’s plan avoided London like the plague, reckoning that it was so obvious, it would be easy for someone on horseback to beat her there, even if she got a substantial head start. There were only three coaching stations on the road south, and it would be child’s play to investigate each, as she suspected her father would do as soon as he discovered her absence.
On top of that, the only people she knew in London were her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner, and she was not certain where their loyalties lay. She might have gone to them if she had no money at all, but with enough to put her in a boarding house among a group of women for over a year sewn into the seams of her dress, (she checked), and the local presence of the mills, Elizabeth judged Manchester to be a better bet. Besides that, Mr Darcy was a powerful man, and she could not countenance dragging another family into her mess. The Gardiners had their own children to raise and their own business to protect.
With a start, the horses pulled on the traces, and Elizabeth followed her sisters’ advice.She put away her childish things.
Elizabeth watched the scenery float past the coach window with feelings of trepidation, excitement and not a little fear.
Her destination was Manchester, an unfashionable, but growing metropolis. She thought she might be able to get work as a governess, companion, or even nursemaid if necessary. If she got desperate enough, she could even take work in the mills, which were dangerous and dirty, but not overly fastidious. She was certain she was voluntarily trading a life of luxury for one of hardship, but it would beher life lived under her terms.
